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I want to know how all of you discipline your LO's. Jacob is 2 (he turned 2 in April) and I'm still struggling with discipline. How do you discipline your LO's when they don't listen, tell you no, yell at you, pitch fits...things like that?
Whew...great question. Zeb has really been testing limits lately! His biggest thing is to hit (only me!) when he doesn't get his way. Timeout has not been working for this, so instead I just completely ignore him and remove myself from the situation. He is only doing it to get a rise out of me, so this technique has worked for us. We do have timeout, but lately he won't stay in and it becomes a 30 minute ordeal -- which is fine when its a non-negotiable offense.
I also try to give him as much power as possible because he is really wanting independence. So, for instance, when he has something I don't want him to have...I will say "Would you like to put it on the counter or do you need mama to take it from you?" Usually he feels like he has a choice and will choose to put it on the counter.
I also ask myself, is this something I really need to be done my way? If not, I let it go. For instance, he was fighting getting dressed in the morning, but then I realized that it didn't matter if he got dressed before or after breakfast...so I just let it go. Sure enough, after breakfast he wants to go outside and will let me dress him.
I won't lie...he gives me a run for my money most days!
Hi! Discipline really can be quite the challenge at this age. Even if they know better than to hit, they don't have good self control yet. But hitting or hurting anyone in my house is a big offense. We have a "you hit, you sit" policy. I don't give the kids any kind of time limit for having to sit. I say "Hitting hurts. You hit, you sit. When you've calmed down and are ready to apologize you can come out." When Zane comes out if he is calm and give "loves" to whoever he hurt and apologizes then we move on. If he comes out and is screaming or not being nice, I sit him back down and repeat the policy. "Hitting hurts. You hit, you sit....." Normally, I don't have to repeat the process. But when we first started doing it with him I had to sit him back down a few times until he realized I meant business.
This process can work for other things besides hitting as well. Just replace the you hit, you sit with whatever the offense was.
And there are lots of things that toddlers can have autonomy on....do you want to wear the orange shirt of the blue shirt? Do you want a banana or grapes for snack? Giving them choices (limiting to 2 is probably the best at this age) can help them feel like they have some control in their life. Other things are non-negotiable. Hitting, running into the road....
Yesterday Zane was trying to start a power struggle with me. I was making brownies and he was helping. He kept wanting to touch the mixer though and I don't want him touching it, because it is dangerous. But he just kept reaching out and putting one finger on it after I asked him not to. I got down to his level and was about to firmly tell him not to touch it again, but then I just smiled at him and asked him if he liked helping me make the brownies. He said yes and smiled back at me. After that he didn't touch it again. I just stopped fighting with him and distracted him for a second and he got over his need to be in control. lol
Sharon, wife to Noah; mom to Belle (12.5), Ryllan (10), Finn (6), and Zane (3).
Last edited by *Sharon*; June 13th, 2013 at 05:17 AM.
I dont really know what I do lol. At this age I expect them not to listen, to tell me no to everything if they're in that mood and to throw fits over small things. I dont have to deal with that a lot because my kid is fairly easy going but it does happen. I think that what I mostly try to do is to respond to them and control the situation.
Example: toda DD2 was colouring a plate and would not stop when I told her not to repeately. I removed both the plate and the colour and she moved onto something else less distructive. She knew I did not approve of what she was doing, she was testing how far she could go with it. I dont think she needed any punishment for not listening. She was pushing boundaries and saw that she did not get very far with it.
As for hissy fits, I figure that a lot of them are about venting frustration over not getting their way. I think it is all right for a kiddo to express themselves and once they calm down we'll talk. We dont have too many of those so I suppose those with frequent tantrum kiddos might have a different opinion. Just tonight my 5 year old was having an issue with wanting a cup that had been purposfully put away. She screamed and howled a bit. I took her into my lap, originally because I thought she might have hit her head trying to get her cup though. After a while the cries lessened and she started trying to order me to do her bidding. That got her nowhere and after a while she said she wants to eat. She starts misbehaving when she gets hungry (and will often say she is not hungry which is because she doesnt feel always hunger so strongly until she starts acting up). This probably took us longer than 5 minute time out + hugs and kisses would have but to me it felt more constructive. She had her tantrum, she tried to get her way and she didnt. She noticed her problem and went to fix it.
Hvor er toalettet? Skal vi danse? Gratulerer med fødselsdagen Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål Ett språk er aldri nok