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I have pretty much lost all my relationships this past week or so


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
June 16th, 2013, 09:59 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 557
I am quite sad over this and still trying to process. Simply put, my parents had a huge custody battle when we were children, my siblings and I. The lines were drawn, my mom forced everyone to take sides. My older sister (OS) is my half sister so of course she followed my mother. My other two sibs followed my mother. She is very domineering and punitive so there was fear instilled if we did not. I followed my dad, who never made anyone take sides.

Stupidly, my husband's job took us to where we live now years ago. Because of this, we have gotten all wrapped up with them. I have 2 children with special needs, the oldest is 18 yrs old now. He is headed to college this fall.

I have been stabbed in the back by them many times, but what just happened really shocked me. I told everyone for a year when the high school graduation was. Yet, when the time came, no one came. And the worst part, I found out they were contacting my son and texting him that I didn't love him, I was lying to them and told them they were not welcome, and that he needs to know the truth about me, and they are the only ones who really care about him. My brother did not even ask for the day off work, nothing. He is my son's Godfather! They didn't give any sort of gift, not even a card. My son was crying when it was time for his reception and no one showed. He was sending out texts begging everyone to come, and they simply informed him that they were not allowed and claimed that I told them they were not welcome. In reality, I spent the last entire year telling them the date, reminding them to take the day off, and so on. We even changed the reception time multiple times to try to get them to come.

I am so shocked by all this, but I supposed I shouldn't be. They have done stuff like this with regards to other things, like birthday parties, only oldest son did not have a cell phone for them to text him in the past. But the graduation, this is a big deal. Even my mother did not bother to show. My dad showed of course.

In the meantime, my best friend is a realtor. We have been friends since we moved here, she is a neighbor. So, that means 6 yrs. Problem is, she has made it clear that if any of her friends uses anyone but her as a realtor, they won't be her friend anymore. She has gotten not-so-nice to some people who didn't use her. Other than that, she really is a nice person and fun to be with. She just gets too competitive with her business and takes it personally if a personal friend does not want to use her. Well, we are not using her for our realtor. Our house is not on the market yet, but since she did not take it well when we tried to tell her we were not going to use her, we decided we need to distance ourselves.

I do have some other friends. It is just that mostly, my other friends are just, let's meet for park day, visit while there, and nothing serious. I certainly do not feel like I can just call to chit chat with any of these friends.

But really, the family thing really has me upset. I realize that those people know no limits in what they will do horrible to us.

We are cancelling our summer vacation that involved visiting family. I am changing my son's cell phone number (he has brain damage from birth, and a technical DX of autism spectrum disorder) so that they cannot keep trying to be toxic to him. And our upcoming move? We decided to move much further away than previously planned. As in, instead of to a different house in a different school zone that actually puts us closer, we are moving across country, several states away. I am very nervous about this. I have never been to this new place we are moving to. (My husband was transferred at work and they said he does not have to move because he can telecommute, and we were not going to move so far away, just to a different school zone, but with all that has happened, we decided to take the move).

Anyway, I am just sitting here, still stunned. It has been a week since the reception. They are evil. And my son is supposed to be starting college near where we live now, and he will have to move. (with the special needs, he needs to be closer to home, he also has medical issues where I still have managing conservatorship, so, yeah, he will go with us. He doesn't want to move away from the only area he has known, but, it needs to happen).
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  #2  
June 16th, 2013, 01:42 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: California
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HUGE HUGS MAMA - That's so sad and horrible!!!! I'm sorry a mom could do this to her child and that your family has turned against you. I hope they eventually will realize what they did. Good luck on your move and hope that you can make new friends and have a new life where you move to. KUP on how things go
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  #3  
June 17th, 2013, 05:04 PM
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I'm so sorry! ((hugs))
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  #4  
June 18th, 2013, 08:22 AM
Leogirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,163
I'm so sorry that you're going though this. You need to decide if you really want these people in your life any longer. If not it's time to realize that they are toxic and cut them out. It's very hard but I had to do it. I'm no longer in contact with anyone in my family and haven't been since I was 18 years old. They were all terrible people and you just don't have to put up with it.

Again I'm sorry but that is s***y of your friend. I don't care how long I've known you or how well I know you. The last people I do business with are friends and family. There is just too much to go wrong and I personally don't want to deal with hurt feelings. I would explane to your friend why you didn't pick her because you were friends.
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  #5  
June 19th, 2013, 03:18 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: St. Louis, MO
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I am sorry people suck!!! That is terrible. I hate when adults play games that hurt children. Ignore me, lie to me, whatever, but hurt my child?!?! NO!!
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  #6  
June 21st, 2013, 05:22 AM
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I am so sorry that your family has treated you and your family this way. It is very immature of them and proves that you made a good choice to go with your father so many years ago.

I hope that the move is successful for all of you, especially your 18 year old son.
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  #7  
June 28th, 2013, 07:27 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,679
I am so sorry that you have had to deal with the family drama and then friend drama. Your family sounds ridiculous. And your "friend" should understand if you don't want to mix business and friendship. At least you are moving away and can make a fresh start with some new people. Good luck in your move, I am sure it will be much better for you all!
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