[chickadee]

I had my first appointment with the maternal fetal specialist this morning, which was a milestone for me because they wouldn't see me for a first appt until 12 weeks. According the doctor (whom I liked a lot), all of my numbers are normal and overall things look good. Baby's HR was 156 (very typical of where it's been the past several weeks), and he/she was bouncing around in there quite a bit. The sonographer did the NT measurements (no idea that was going to be happening today!) and those looked "normal" according to the doc, but he warned me that the bloodwork numbers that will come back in a week may be strange and require some interpretation since I still have two placentas but only one active pregnancy. The SCH is larger than last week (now 4cm) and he seemed surprised (impressed? LOL) by the size of it (and thought it may have been even larger at some point), but he indicated that the edges looked to be deteriorating which is a sign that it is probably resolving. He didn't seem worried. I have a follow-up appointment in 3 weeks to make sure the placenta looks ok given the SCH, and in the meantime I have the same restrictions my OB indicated - no exercise, lifting or straining and pelvic rest whenever I'm spotting, and the other times I just need to take it easy. He also said the heart palpitations are normal and not concerning at all.

All in all, that was about as good of an appointment as I could have hoped for! I see my OB again this Wed, and then I think he's probably going to let the maternal fetal specialist keep tabs on me instead of more regular visits to his office... so I may not have another appt until the one in 3 weeks. After so many appointments, it's going to be strange to go so long without one!

[Ravado]

Congrats! That is a great milestone indeed! Glad the appointment went well.

[stephanieaehenley]

glad you had a great appointment!

[Rebelmommy]

Sounds like an great appointment

[terryterry]

Sounds like it went great!

[rosiewells]

12 weeks is such a milestone! How fun to see your little one bouncing around in there! I'm glad you had a great appointment!

[chickadee]

Thank you, ladies. I know this type of report isn't all that exciting, but making it to this appointment today was a big deal for me. I've been making a concerted effort over the past week to be more relaxed and less anxious, and I think it's working. I'm feeling pretty good about things overall.

[Mom2twolittlemen]

Yea for a great appt!!!! It sounds like things are progressing great! I'm
Curious a out the two placentas? Will one deteriorate over time since there is no output of bloodflow or is there?

[chickadee]

Originally Posted by Mom2twolittlemen

Yea for a great appt!!!! It sounds like things are progressing great! I'm
Curious a out the two placentas? Will one deteriorate over time since there is no output of bloodflow or is there?

Thank you. I have no idea, actually, what is or isn't happening with the bloodflow with that placenta. I just assumed everything was basically static/quiet/inactive, but I really don't know. The fetus itself is still there; there has been some deterioration, but neither it nor the placenta or the gestational sac have begun to be reabsorbed. I think they expect that to start happening as my uterus fills up with the growing pregnancy, and the sac with the one that passed is kind of pushed between the active one and the uterine wall. Something like that.


Edit: Aaaand now I'm bleeding again tonight, with a lot of cramping. I did not have a transvaginal ultrasound today, just an abdominal one. I wish wish wish this would stop. It is scary every single time.

[martilynne]

It sounds like it went very well. It must be hard seeing the 2nd twin still I'm sorry. I hope your spotting quits very soon.

[chickadee]

Thank you, martilynne, for the kind thoughts.

I am having a hard time again tonight. Still bleeding, bright red, and just passed a clot. Lots of cramping that feels like when I'm passing clots during my period. My OB's office told me last week just to watch things if I was spotting, and call if I was bleeding with clots... but I hate the idea of waking my OB up in the middle of the night. He is the only Dr. at the practice, and so is always the one on call. The bleeding is not as bad as it was last Tuesday, and the clot is smaller than it was then too. Each of the previous times this has happened the bleeding has tapered off after passing the clot. I am afraid not to call, but feel like I'm just being crazy if I do call. I just had a u/s this morning, and have another one already scheduled for Wednesday, so it seems crazy to have them bring me in for another one... but aside from an ultrasound I'm not sure what he'd tell me to do other than rest, which is what I'm already doing. I think I'm just going to try to just watch it and see how things go tonight (I'm not going to be able to sleep anytime soon) and call if it gets any worse. There is so much cramping though. I'm scared, and I wish this would stop happening. It's really, really awful. Please please please let this just be the SCH, and let the baby be ok. Please.

[Happy Song]

I am glad your appointment went well and I am sorry you are bleeding again. That SCH does sound impressive. Can't you pass one twin? Being on the multiple loss board and pregnant after a loss I have heard many stories.

One that i feel impressed to share involved a woman who concieved triplets and lost two. At the end of her pregnancy when everyone was telling her how huge she was... she got the comment "are you sure it is not twins". I cannot imagine how much that hurt her and she did tell us what she wished she could say. I just want you to be aware that in the future you may face that question and thought it might be easier if you knew it was coming.

[Ravado]

I hope the bleeding stopped and you were able to get some rest. That is very scary.

[martilynne]

I'm so sorry to hear you are bleeding again. Big hugs and I hope your SCH resolves really soon so you can stop dealing with the stress

[chickadee]

Thank you, ladies. I hope this resolves soon too. I called the OB's office this morning, and they had me come in for another u/s. Baby is fine, and there is no immediate danger of spontaneous miscarriage. I am still spotting tonight and the cramps have been pretty strong and persistant (they kept waking me during the night), but I've not passed any more clots. I didn't get to talk with anyone at my Dr.'s office after the u/s, so I didn't get a chance to ask any questions about the SCH and whether there was some impact to the placenta with this bleeding episode. But, I'll be back there for my previously scheduled appointment tomorrow, and so will be able to ask about it then.

Happy Song, it was mentioned to me right at the time of the miscarriage that I might pass some material because of the loss of the twin... but I never did, and since then they've only been talking about reabsorption. I don't know what makes the difference, or how they would know which was most likely the happen. The one I lost is the one that implanted higher in my uterus, and the continuing pregnancy is the one closer to my cervix, and so I don't know if/how that impacts things. The only other thing I can think of is that I was on IM estrogen and progesterone injections at the time of the loss and for another two weeks after that... and so maybe those high levels of hormones also prevented me passing anything with that loss. I really have no idea.

Thanks for letting me know about that comment/question. It does help to be able to anticipate or expect those kinds of things, and you're right - I shouldn't be surprised if I get that one later on. I am struggling right now with how to tell the people relatively close to me about the pregnancy - I want it to be a positive announcement, but with family and friends I feel I simply can't ignore the fact that it began as a twin pregnancy and that we lost one, and so I will be mentioning it when I tell them I'm pregnant. I'm not telling them because I want sympathy, but because *I* will not ignore the baby we lost or pretend it didn't exist. I am trying to prepare myself for the responses I may get from people, as I know most of them won't really be able to understand that it is a pregnancy loss like any other and hurts just as much, and some may say some unintentionally hurtful things. One person has already said to me, "Well, one is enough anyway!" with a laugh... and I know that's what I need to expect and prepare myself to deal with.

[Rebelmommy]

Originally Posted by chickadee

One person has already said to me, "Well, one is enough anyway!" with a laugh... and I know that's what I need to expect and prepare myself to deal with.

This is one of the most horrible, unfeeling things I have ever heard! So sorry that you had to deal with that.

[chickadee]

Originally Posted by Rebelmommy

This is one of the most horrible, unfeeling things I have ever heard! So sorry that you had to deal with that.

Thank you for understanding why it would be so hard to hear that. The odd thing was that it came from someone who is a genuinely kind and very thoughtful person, and I'm sure she'd be very upset if she thought she had said something hurtful. That tells me, though, that even the kindest people may say upsetting things without even realizing it. I'm sure people just don't know what to say, period, and so some weird things come out sometimes. It's good for me to recognize that ahead of hearing those kinds of comments so that I don't unfairly lash out at someone who doesn't realize they are being insensitive.

[Rebelmommy]

I think you are right, that many people do not know what to say and unfortunately in trying to say something they inadvertently put their foot in their mouths It is good, though that you realize this, and know that they are not trying to be hurtful, but that does not make it easier. Perhaps you could find a handy comeback line to use just so that you can subtly let people know that the second baby did and does count.

I believe Kelsey Grammer's ( I could be wrong, but I know it was some celebrities wife) wife just gave birth to a child whom was a twin, and they stated that it was an emotional heart wrenching time for them, because while they were extremely happy and grateful to have a healthy beautiful baby, there was sadness in their hearts for the baby that they and their child would never know, but that their child would have a built in guardian angle to watch over it always.

[chickadee]

Thank you, sincerely, for sharing that about Kelsey Grammer's (or whomever's) wife. It's honestly comforting to hear and read that others have the same thoughts. My husband and I have talked about how we'll feel when the baby arrives, on future birthdays, etc., and even though we're doing much better with all those thoughts now than we were a few weeks ago, I think there will always be that sadness about the second baby we would have been welcoming at the same time.

I will try to think of something that I can say in response to comments; it's a good idea to be prepared as then I'll feel less caught off guard. Thank you again.


I had my appt at my OB's office this morning, and they decided to put me on bed rest for the next week and have me come back in again then. So I have another appt for next Wed, and I think the best rest is really just a precaution - trying to avoid any bleeding episodes between now and then. They did another u/s and the baby still looks great, strong heartbeat and lots of movement. The SCH continues to look like it's resolving, and so I'm really hoping that by next week's u/s it will be smaller. I am definitely taking it easy (still working, but sitting on the floor with the laptop on the coffee table ) and hoping for no more bleeding. Fingers crossed!

[MiaVena]

congratulations for a great appointment and a healthy beanie