We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
So my children take lunches to school, there is always stuff for sandwichs and snacks. Always enough to fil their bellies during the school day. Well I decided to super stock up at costco on things like fruit peices, fruit cups, fruit rolls, cereal bars, some cookies and cracker and well the list goes on, like seriously $250+ is what I spent at costco on the stuff. I seriously had a full cupboard of stuff for lunches as well as the box of oranges, apples and bananas. Well within the first week my SO has decided to pack a lunch, no problem there so you would think. Well his lunch had only included seriously the snacks and fillers. I looked in his bag one day before he left for work and there was seriously 4 fruit by the foots, 3 bags of dried apple peices, 3 packs of cookies, and other various snacks including 3-4 juices or sodas.After a week and a half of him taking a "lunch" we have ran out of things for the kids to take with their sandwich. HE took the last four pack of fruit cups and yogurts today there were like 6 of them left last night after I had one, my son had the last "one" this morning. I am so peeved off right now. I had enough in the begining to get us through til atleast next month. Now we dont have crap. I had to send them with money to get a lunch at school which I hate because they never get full.
Is it really that hard to control yourself and take a snack for a snack instead of your entire freaking meal. I mean make a sandwich or something. This also stems off that he had been spending 8-12 dollars a morning on convience store crap. I never thought that I would have to do this either but I had to hide money in a seperate account just so that there would be enough between paydays for anything that came up, which it always does and he seems to just blow through money, if there is money in the account even if it is for a bill that hasnt yet come out he will spend it. I am just so tired of him acting so childish. It just seems to me like he is trying to use the things all up before anyone else gets the chance. Any ideas on how to deal with this. Should I talk to him about the snack/lunch issue or just let it go and start hiding the snacks again (yes we have had this problem before, he says that he buys the stuff and he will eat what he wants). Im not trying to sound like a ****** about it because I occasionally like a snack too, I just seem to controll myself, but it gets pretty expensive.
He's a full-grown man. Let him eat whatever he wants. Just let him know that it's costing him more to have to buy school food because he took only snacks and didn't make himself anything and now there's none left for the children to eat. Also, convenience store snacks as a regular thing is a big waste of money. Perhaps he can have "his" stash of snacks and "the kids'" stash of snacks, though I suspect he'd end up eating most of them anyway. I would not hide snacks or money, but would depend on him to change himself or pay the penalty (in this case, increased unnecessary spending on snacks). You can't force him to stop being childish if he doesn't choose to on his own.
Aww, I'm so sorry. I don't have any great advice but I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I do think making sure you have enough money to pay for important things that crop up is wise. Would it help to do the shopping together and have him agree that certain snacks are for the kids, and he picks up some snacks for himself too (that you & the kids aren't allowed to touch)? That way if he does want to dip into them it's hopefully clearer in his own mind that he's taking food from them, not just communal food that why shouldn't he help himself to?
I don't have any advice as my DH is exactly the same way.. he eats all the kids snacks, all the healthy stuff I buy for me.. hell he just eats everything. I tried talking to him about it, I have even tried telling him that I am not eating anything at all during the day because he has eaten just about everything and I want to save what is left for the kids and he'll sit on the couch chomping away on what is left while I tell him those things.. mine is a lost cause
I have the same issue. We have no children yet, but he will eat a enough snacks for several people. Yesterday I bought him two bags of Cheetos. There is only half a bag left. He can eat a large box of cheese-its in a day. I usually just don't buy too many snacks, in case I get a little weak.
He was spending about the same daily at the gas station on his way to work. The biggest culprit was red bull. 2 for 5 bucks x 5 to 6 days a week. Plus sodas!! I made him buy a soda stream; he has not bought a soda or red bull in over a month... It has already paid for itself. If only there was a magical snack maker.
heres what you do send him shopping instead. this is what wrks 4 me. he may pick up only the things he wishes even when u give him a list. but once he reaches the cash register and the total comes up he come to realize that stuff get eaten too quickly. you should definitely take over packing lunches. when the kids stuff run out let them say dad i want x for sch tomorrow and you ate it all. since i started sending my SO to get groceries his eating pattern has changed he keeps saying that our budget gets less items each time. And cant believe how much money is being spent on food. the down side he monitors how much i snack, the upside he cooks healthier,cost efficient meals and ensures there is enough leftovers for lunch.
i support putting money away for a rainy day. he may get upset. my SO got angry when he first found out, said i was being selfish. i ignored him. i hate debt and late payments. my SO pends carelessly too, i will send him to pick up an item we are short on and he'll purchase the most expensive brand on the shelf.
If my husband ate the food i had got for packed lunches i would go mad, i tell dh what is for the kids and not to touch, he doesnt as he knows i only buy enough to fill the kids lunch box for a week! I do the shop and it comes out of my money so maybe thats why be listens? Lol i do buy food for the whole family to eat as and when they like though.
Thankfully DH and I are very good with communication and he's not selfish in the least. He loves snacks, and I plan for that in our groceries, but he also packs sandwiches and we buy pop at the store rather than the gas station. Not that he doesn't ever buy at the gas station, but his perspective is totally different.
Personally I wouldn't feel guilty in the least for hiding money to make sure things are paid. Bills getting paid so that your family has a place to live, food, heat, and water is more important than a inconsiderate man choosing to make life hard on his family bc he can't control himself. So what if he's a grown man, he's not acting like such, therefore do what you need to do.
I keep all the school lunch stuff on a separate shelf in the basement (cold stuff in a drawer in the fridge. Everyone knows that nobody is supposed to eat the stuff in those places and it works for us. Maybe find a way to keep it separated from the other food.
Joy, Wife to Glen and mother to:
My SO eats everything, of course hes a big n tall guy so hes hungrier i assume..but seriously i will bring home leftovers and keep them for my lunch for work the next day and they'll be gone.. So i have straight up told him several times before - quit eating my food lol He also is a careless spender, doesnt bargain shop at all..I just recently took a hold of our finances because we are saving and every lil bit extra helps!
I would talk to him, tell him that food was for the kids..if he wants snacks to tell you what he wants and put it to the side for him..Maybe you can start packing lunch for him? Does he eat leftovers ever from yalls dinners??
I don't have the problem of a spouse that eats all the food. I have the opposite problem. I have food allergies and so if there is food left-over he will save it for me because he knows I can't eat processed food. I will save it for him because he works manual labor 15 hours a day and with the pregnancy and being sick I don't want to cook something else if I don't have too. Then it will go to waste. How dumb?
Anyway I was just going to comment how it seems there is a pattern of mommies on this thread who "sacrifice" their wants for their families, whether it be food or new cloths or whatnot. We have a group of bargain shoppers here. I just thought I would mention that I thought that was beautiful. It is a beautiful quality to have to put someone else ahead of yours, even if it makes you mad. We have a great group of loving ladies here.