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Sorry for being away for so long. I had breast milk problems and Steven didn't get as much milk as he should have and then he started losing weight too fast and fluids also. My real breast milk came in like 4-6 days after giving birth. Before it just wasn't enough. Anyways, when Steven was about 4 days old we went to hospital and we stayed there for about 1 week. It was a real shock for me especially, because i didn't know much about babies and i had such a hard time to adapt with my new situation. Steven got better pretty fast, but i stressed myself out and didn't sleep or eat much. Started taking anti depressants and now im formula feeding Steven. then on 13th when we got home from the hospital i started to notice some small slimy blood stains in Stevens stool. Went back to hospital for 8 days. 7days antibiotics for little Steven. Anyways we are back home now and it is still hard for me to sleep between his feeding breaks just because i have that stress or fear that something might be or go wrong. But i feel more relaxed now than i did before. I didn't even find time to take out my lappy and even check my e/mail. Didn't want to communicate with other people almost at all. I still feel as if i have somehow failed to be the perfect mommy... but the main thing is that Steven is feeling better and growing well.. he is 3 weeks old and weights around 4kg
just a little bit sad that most of his first month we spent in the hospital and i haven't even noticed him grow so fast. Some of his clothes are already small and its just so amazing how fast time flies by.
I'm glad he's doing better. I went through a similar situation with dd1 where I felt I had failed because of supply issues I got super depressed, felt the same way you did. If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me. It gets better *big hugs*
No such thing as a perfect mom, so you could not possibly have failed at being it. Looks like your little guy is growing strong, happy and healthy now, and that is the only thing in mommy-hood that is important!