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Crying it out


Forum: February 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By mamatomany
  • 3 Post By cheezpoofs
  • 1 Post By Servilia
  • 1 Post By MiaVena

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  #1  
March 12th, 2013, 01:11 PM
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Is 3 weeks way to early to let your little one cry it out? I will change her diaper, feed her, hold her till she's in a deep sleep but once I put her down she wakes and cries because she wants to be held. I do hold her all the time but when she is sleeping I need to be able to sleep also which means I need to put her down. If I know that's why she is crying then is it ok to let her cry it out or is she too young for that?
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  #2  
March 12th, 2013, 01:38 PM
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I won't ever do CIO! Sends bad message to LO.
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  #3  
March 12th, 2013, 01:53 PM
kellythayer85's Avatar Expecting our first
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I've read that it's not effective till at lest 3 mo. I'm having the same problem, he won't sleep unless I'm holding him.
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  #4  
March 12th, 2013, 01:54 PM
Rebelmommy's Avatar Mommy to controlled chaos
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Have you tried a pacifier or even a swing. Creighton will only nap during the day if he is in his swing or vibrating chair, otherwise I have to hold him
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  #5  
March 12th, 2013, 02:02 PM
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Imo, this is way too young for cio. I would try swaddling, the swing, sleeping with you, a pacifier.
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  #6  
March 12th, 2013, 02:04 PM
kellythayer85's Avatar Expecting our first
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For me he doesn't like a swing or bouncer for longer then 15-30mins, and will spit of a pacifier and wake up :/ I almost have to make him take the pacifier.
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  #7  
March 12th, 2013, 02:25 PM
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I'm probably in the minority, but I think it's fine to let an infant cry. I do not mean that you should let them scream for an hour, but if you know they are changed, fed, and burped some babies just need to cry to de-stress. My oldest was like this. She would get tired and if we rocked her to sleep she would just wake up again right away. She honestly only started to sleep well after we understood that she just wanted to be put down and cry for a bit. Then she would fall asleep and nap great.

I know it's not for everyone, but with my six I have started sleep training almost immediately. A baby that has been fed and changed and kept awake for a little bit will rarely fuss very long before falling asleep. Mine are all great sleepers and very happy, independent, and well-adjusted.

If you know her needs have all been met, you should not feel guilty about putting her to bed when she starts fussing. Tired or overstimulated babies will fuss. I also think it's never to early to develop sleep-time routines that they can recognize -- the smell of the bed they are put in, the texture of the blanket, etc.
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Last edited by mamatomany; March 12th, 2013 at 02:26 PM. Reason: Typo
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  #8  
March 12th, 2013, 03:20 PM
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She will take a pacifier for about 3 minutes and then wants nothing to do with it. I have tried the bouncer, the crib, our bed.. She wants to be held. I tried letting her cry it out but after only a couple minutes I felt so guilty and picked her up. It's the saddest thing just hearing them cry.. But I know at some point she has to learn to sleep laying down because that's the only way I will ever get sleep. She usually naps laying down for a few minutes, just long enough for me to think I'm in the clear, and then she wakes up crying because she realizes that no one is holding her.

I really do wish that we had bought a swing instead of a bouncer.. I think my baby would much prefer the swing.
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  #9  
March 12th, 2013, 05:19 PM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Check out Craigslist for a swing.

Are you holding her for a full ten minutes after she has fallen asleep? I have read that this is how long it takes for babies to get to fully asleep and you are more likely to have a successful "drop off" into bed if you wait at least this long before attempting it.

As for crying it out, I wouldn't recommend or do it this young. Right now, you and she are working out your communication and trust relationships. She is learning that when she cries, you come to her (or you don't). It is often detrimental to infants' development and your relationship when their cries are unanswered at this age. Many studies have been done on this subject and can be found easily in a Google search, I'm sure.

I do let Castiel cry some, but it's only when I need to attend to one of his brothers' needs and only for as long as it takes me to do what is needed of me at that moment. I talk to him and comfort him while I have to do this. Unfortunately, his need to be held is not always the priority need in the house. I am supportive of and do practice crying it out, but I don't really start doing it until baby is at least six months old and we have developed a good communication and trust relationship.
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  #10  
March 12th, 2013, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheezpoofs View Post
Check out Craigslist for a swing.

Are you holding her for a full ten minutes after she has fallen asleep? I have read that this is how long it takes for babies to get to fully asleep and you are more likely to have a successful "drop off" into bed if you wait at least this long before attempting it.

As for crying it out, I wouldn't recommend or do it this young. Right now, you and she are working out your communication and trust relationships. She is learning that when she cries, you come to her (or you don't). It is often detrimental to infants' development and your relationship when their cries are unanswered at this age. Many studies have been done on this subject and can be found easily in a Google search, I'm sure.

I do let Castiel cry some, but it's only when I need to attend to one of his brothers' needs and only for as long as it takes me to do what is needed of me at that moment. I talk to him and comfort him while I have to do this. Unfortunately, his need to be held is not always the priority need in the house. I am supportive of and do practice crying it out, but I don't really start doing it until baby is at least six months old and we have developed a good communication and trust relationship.
Crying is their way of communicating so I wouldn't do crying it out. Maybe she feels lonely or scared without you.
I never tried crying it out because it doesn't go with my parenting style and like you it breaks my heart when I hear my babies cry.
Have you tried playing classical music? I use sound sleep app for nap time here and it helps keep both my girls asleep.
Can you lay next to your little one and nap with her? I know some people don't feel comfortable doing that but with dd1 I got to a point where I just needed to sleep and this was the only way I could get some sleep.
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  #11  
March 12th, 2013, 10:48 PM
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My baby is the same. I have to hold him when he is awake or sleeping for naps. I can sometimes get him to lay next to me for nights. I think he just needs the comfort. I havnt slept since before I was pregnant so I know how you feel.

My baby likes bounce. We bought just the swing. Trade you?? lol
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  #12  
March 13th, 2013, 08:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheezpoofs View Post
Check out Craigslist for a swing.

Are you holding her for a full ten minutes after she has fallen asleep? I have read that this is how long it takes for babies to get to fully asleep and you are more likely to have a successful "drop off" into bed if you wait at least this long before attempting it.

As for crying it out, I wouldn't recommend or do it this young. Right now, you and she are working out your communication and trust relationships. She is learning that when she cries, you come to her (or you don't). It is often detrimental to infants' development and your relationship when their cries are unanswered at this age. Many studies have been done on this subject and can be found easily in a Google search, I'm sure.

I do let Castiel cry some, but it's only when I need to attend to one of his brothers' needs and only for as long as it takes me to do what is needed of me at that moment. I talk to him and comfort him while I have to do this. Unfortunately, his need to be held is not always the priority need in the house. I am supportive of and do practice crying it out, but I don't really start doing it until baby is at least six months old and we have developed a good communication and trust relationship.
This exactly. They don't REALLY drop off to a real sleep for 10-20 minutes after you see their eyes shut. I know when my daughter's still in this stage because this is when she makes all those involuntary smiles and expressions.
I agree on the trust issue as well.

Also, on a more practical level, babies can swallow quite a bit of air when crying which will likely make them gassy and make your problem even worse. I recommend just holding her a few extra minutes and put her down as gently as possible. I find that any jerky movements can snap her right out of sleep again. Good luck!
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  #13  
March 13th, 2013, 09:39 AM
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Shelby is 2 mos old now and I can start to hear the differences in her crys. She gets the hmm something going on and not right to the its starting to escalate and finally ^&*% has hit the fan and you need to do something NOW! I am trying to help DH hear the differences too.

Have you tried wearing her? In order for me to get any work done on some days I put her in our Mei Tei. She loves it and I get both hands free to type away but also do a few things around the house if needed to..
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  #14  
March 13th, 2013, 09:43 AM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
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Even proponents of CIO do not recommend it until the child is around 6 months old I believe.

There have been some really good suggestions in this post, so I won't add any repetitive information.

I hope you and your LO can get some rest soon. *hugs*
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  #15  
March 13th, 2013, 10:38 AM
jojow
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I don't do CIO this young, imo they are too little. I understand some babies need to fuss a little in order to de-stress and fall asleep, but that is different than CIO. I swaddle, rock, use the paci, etc.

ETA: Sometimes when Lydia is having trouble falling asleep I will put her on her stomach to sleep (in my bed or on my lap) and that usually puts her right to sleep. Once she's in a deep sleep I move her to her side.
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  #16  
March 13th, 2013, 05:26 PM
MiaVena's Avatar Proud Mommy
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i wouldn't let my LO cry like that... i mean i have read that at that age they need to know whenever they cry then mommy or daddy comes so they can feel safe. Also they know no better... they cant express their needs any other way... i just cant bare to see my baby boy cry at all... its somehow my weakness and a big reason why i think i will pamper him too much and he gets used to it. i use a pacifier, when he is fussing and i just carry and carry and sing and do whatever... at the end of the day im like a zombie. Pfft. But every smile he gives me makes me forget that.
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  #17  
March 14th, 2013, 08:39 AM
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I have noticed that different paci's have diff results. Some he spit out right away, others a few seconds. We went through a few brands before finding "the one". Then again, he'd rather use the boob as a paci most times. Walking outside really helped during fussy moments. I think it was nice for the both of us.
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  #18  
March 23rd, 2013, 11:54 PM
ratladee's Avatar Madison Marie, My Sweet P
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The person who invented CIO, ferber or whoever, stepped away from this practice because of how wrong it is. Do you like crying yourself to sleep? I know when I do, my eyes hurt the next day and I have a pounding headache. Babies are supposed to be with their mothers... Do you co sleep? Try it. It works wonders for the newborn stage. AS for cry it out, I obviously can't even discuss it without getting frustrated because I just think it's so wrong IMHO. I have nothing else to add because everyone else had great suggestions.
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