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"Ferber" method questions


Forum: February 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By NorasMom2112

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  #1  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:01 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Hello!

I'm new here and this looks like a great place to get a little help.

We have an eight month old baby girl and she won't sleep through the night. We've read a lot of books and researched and we've come to the conclusion that the problem is her sleep associations. We have always held her as she falls asleep and then put her in her crib which means when she naturally wakes up during the night, she can't fall back asleep on her own because something "feels wrong."

It's gotten worse and worse and is now at the point where she'll cry uncontrollably until she's either picked up or taken into bed with us.

We realize the key is going to be getting her to be comfortable with going to sleep on her own. This is the goal of the Ferber method, but there are nuances not covered in the book that I'm hoping people here have experienced.

According to the book, we're supposed to pick a length of time, say one minute to start. We put her in the crib awake and leave for a minute. If she's crying (she will me) we (one of us) will go in for a minute or two calm her down and show her that we're still there and then leave again, this time for longer. repeat this until we reach our max of, say, 15 minutes, and then each time after that is 15 minutes. The book assumes that she will eventually fal asleep on her own, but my question is what if she doesn't? We've seen no evidence that she'll calm herself down at all, she cries until she makes herself throw up and then cries some more.

It's heartbreaking to see but we know that it's time to do something. Any advice from people who have done this?
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  #2  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:21 AM
eiramillek's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Does she have a paci, blankie, or some other type of soothie? Do you use a sound machine or nightlight? What's your bedtime routine like.

I do think that eventually she would fall asleep but its hard to leave her be when she's crying and throwing up. You just have to remember that the first few days are the hardest, it will get easier, and you have to stick it out if this is the method you choose.

I've also heard great things about the book The No Cry Sleep Solution but am not familiar with it.

Also, this is the Feb 2013 playroom so all our babies are only 1-2 months old. You might get better advice in the July 2012 Playroom where all the babies are the same age as your daughter :-)
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  #3  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:28 AM
Nyzira's Avatar Just call me Bam.
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I found putting a shirt that me or my husband had worn in the crib with Annabelle helped comfort her because it smelled like us so it seemed we were near. You have to swap the shirt out every couple of days because it airs out. I'll probably do the same with Rose when it gets to that point.
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  #4  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:51 AM
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Thanks for the replys. About the playroom thing, thanks for that, too. I didn't realize the playrooms represented the birth months, my mistake!

As far as routines, we do use a white noise machine. We usually give her a paci as well but we'll have to figure out the best way to fit that in with this new method.

Also, the shirt idea is great, we'll definitely try something like that!

Thanks again, I'll repose this in the July room.
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  #5  
March 24th, 2013, 08:35 PM
eiramillek's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NorasMom2112 View Post
Thanks for the replys. About the playroom thing, thanks for that, too. I didn't realize the playrooms represented the birth months, my mistake!

As far as routines, we do use a white noise machine. We usually give her a paci as well but we'll have to figure out the best way to fit that in with this new method.

Also, the shirt idea is great, we'll definitely try something like that!

Thanks again, I'll repose this in the July room.
You can still use a pacifier. My first DD slept with a pacifier and we did end up doing CIO because everything else we tried didn't work. She wouldn't even let me rock her! I would just keep going in, lay her down, give her back her pacifier, rub her back for a minute, tell her I love her, and walk back out.

Getting a regular bedtime routine works too. Like bath, jammies, book, maybe a little cuddle/rocking time, and then into bed.

I hope she is able to fall asleep on her own soon!
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  #6  
March 25th, 2013, 09:00 PM
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Thanks for all the replies.

It's actually gone better than we expected it to. There have been a couple of rough times, of course, but all in all she's handling it really well. It's kind of a revelation.
AmyLM likes this.
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  #7  
March 25th, 2013, 09:30 PM
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The first nights really are the hardest but they eventually get it.
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