[OH~Melissa]

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! I am so pissed off that I cannot see straight. As most of you know - I don't have a great marriage - but one thing that I have always tried to do is be a unified front when it comes to our kids.

Shaun is going through a horrible phase where he is talking back all the time and when told to do something he has to make comments. This happens tonight so I tell him that after he carries the clothes upstairs he needs to stay in his room. He continues to mouth off. Kevin is sitting there the ENTIRE freakin time and doesnt say anything. This also happened yesterday. Dylan was having a complete meltdown and was put in time out. Kevin is sitting next to him on the couch. Dylan starts screaming and I am dealing with relocation stuff and say to Kevin "can you deal with him?" He says "no I am watching tv". WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would rather raise these kids as a single mother then raise them with him when my kids know that he doesn't back me up. Up until now I have had NO complaints about him as a father ----- but this is so freakin unacceptable to me.

Would this tick you off or am I just PMS'ing? If you find my anger valid --- what would YOU do about it?

[sydandlogan'smommy]

Yes it would upset me. IMO that is totally unacceptable. He needs to share in the responsibilites of parenting.

If it were me I would sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk and let him know my feelings and that something needs to change.

BIG HUGS Melissa!!

[~ Colleen ~]

You already know what I would do... No matter what you decide, we've got your back!

[Loving_My_Boys]

Wow........I would have lost it!

[sandyjoys]

Yeah, I would be pissed off too. He needs to step it up.

[Crystal713]

That would make me VERY mad too!! That is completely disrespectful for him to say that he is watching TV when you ask for help. Im sorry you have to put up with that crap!

[MReel11008]

I'd be beyond pissed off as well. My dh is like that and that is one of our major major problems in our marriage. He doesnt help me or back me up and then he says that when he does get onto the kids i dont like the way he does it. Well d*** straight i dont when you get up off the couch finally after i have argued with my 3 yr old for an hour while 15month old is grabbing my clothes and im trying to cook dinner for everyone, and say Mother f***** go to your mother f'in room. I mean there is a right way to talk to children, am i right or am i just an idiot? If i were you i would attempt talking to him about it in a calm way that is not confrontational and see how that goes. If he doesnt understand or care (which kinda sounds to me like he doesnt now) then i wouldnt hesitate to start doing it on your own IMO. But thats just me as im going through kinda the same thing and i know how you feel. I have been trying to work on my marriage for some time now and i dont know much about yours or how or what you guys are doing or plan to do. good luck though! i do know how frustrating it is i know that much.

[OH~Melissa]

Megan - I am so sorry that you are dealing with it too! Know that if you ever need to vent to anyone - I do understand and would be happy to listen! HUGS!

[lovinglife]

Your anger is VERY valid! If my DH said that to me when I was already frustrated he would find his clothes in his car and my foot planted on his butt as he went out the door. There is no excuse for that attitude. I hope you can talk some sense into him.

[MommaOnCloud9]

Your anger is completely valid. Quite frankly, I would have went over and hanked the tv cord out.

First, I'd try to have a heart to heart with him and see if that helps at all.

If it doesn't, then my recommendation would be for YOU to "under-function". When one partner is doing all/most of the work, it's easier for the other partner to slack off. So, in part, he is underperforming because you're overperforming. I'd give up a chore (or two) around the house. When he complains about it, you say, "Well, now that I'm doing a majority of the parenting around here and not getting the help that I have asked for, I will not have the time or energy to do the dishes/make dinner/tidy the living room each night/etc...." I'd probably pick something that would annoy him if it didn't get done; otherwise this strategy would go completely over his head.

PLUS, it really will be easier for you to have the time and energy to be doing most of the parenting if you're not also doing the same amount of chores that you're doing right now.

[MReel11008]

Originally Posted by OH~Melissa

Megan - I am so sorry that you are dealing with it too! Know that if you ever need to vent to anyone - I do understand and would be happy to listen! HUGS!

Thanks girl! and same to you! i actually went grocery shopping today and made him carry everything in for me. He specifically asked for stuff that he wanted for dinner. I got it and as i unpacked food put it on the counter by the stove and walked out of the kitchen! needless to say he got the hint tonight and cooked dinner for us! i still had to clean it all up but hey at least he did something right? Not that itll last long! he just knows im mad still!