[pickle0313]

After a long stressful weekend, SO left last night. This morning I got a text from him saying that he couldn't live like this..... Not entirely sure what that means... But I guess I'll be visiting the single mommies board....

[Banned-lilymagic]

I'm sorry, maybe he's just stressed with not being able to be around as much. Didn't you say you were all moving up north so you won't have to be apart as much? Maybe he just wants that happen sooner?

Hoping for the best for you!

:hugs:

[Kalynas_Mom]

So sorry, this must be very difficult (((hugs)))

Do you think the stress of an impending child might be weighing on him? My DH was not himself since the moment I found out I was pregnant with DD and we ended up separating when DD was 1.5 for just over a year. His anxieties and fears overwhelmed him completely. I was a single mom for a good portion of DDs life. I hope you can both work things out. Sometimes stress and fear make us act irrationally.

[pickle0313]

Yeah well after looking over money, there's no way for us all to move up north. We can't make it without my income and up north there aren't as many jobs. Luckily in the time I've lived here in AZ I've made some awesome friends (a FEW not many) who are incredible... and they've all offered to help me by looking for a cheaper place for me, my daycare ladies (i have two) said they would give me a discount... my son's daycare lady even called a preschool for me... She said if he gets in preschool she will give me a discount cuz he'll only be part time... I've started looking at all my options for how I can afford to financially do it on my own and if it takes no tv/internet for a while, then that's what I'll do... whatever I have to. He left, he packed his stuff, and he left. I feel like he knew what he wanted, it wasn't a spur of the moment decision. The topic of abortion did come up, but I don't think I could live with myself. Not when there are so many other people here going through losses, and I'm lucky enough to have a healthy pregnancy thus far... Plus it's just against what I personally believe for ME. So, what will be will be.... Just another bump in the road. Funny I've been a single mom of 2 for the last year & a half, so this will be no different, other than just one more little one... I can do it.... Just still in shock.

[L-SBB]

i'm so sorry to hear this...is there any chance for a reconciliation or is that not something you even want to pursue at this point? I do think stress & anxiety can drive people to do things that (hopefully) they wouldn't normally do...i hope with a little time & reflection he'll come back around if that's what you want - and if not, i hope you're able to make the transition as smoothly as you can. I hate to see anyone dealing with this kind of stress during pregnancy ((((HUGS)))))

[LaceyMay2630]

So sorry to hear you have to go through this. I hope everything will work out for you. I know that stress can make people change, I hope your SO realizes what he's leaving and things will work out. Sending thoughts and prayers your way my dear.

[pickle0313]

Only thing I can think at this point is "What kinda man leaves a woman while she's pregnant w/ his baby?" Maybe I will change my mind after I figure out my own living situation/daycare/finances.... But for right now, any man that would bail on a woman while pregnant.... doesn't seem like much of a man to me.

[MamaFish]

Wow. I don't have any words, just sorry.

[Julie_]

I don't know the whole background but just want to say I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

[KatieH52]

Originally Posted by pickle0313

Only thing I can think at this point is "What kinda man leaves a woman while she's pregnant w/ his baby?" Maybe I will change my mind after I figure out my own living situation/daycare/finances.... But for right now, any man that would bail on a woman while pregnant.... doesn't seem like much of a man to me.

I have to agree! And bail on his 2 babies as well. WTH? Good riddance, sounds like you're better off on your own! One less BIG kid to worry about.

I'm still sorry you have to deal with this while pregnant, I wish there was something I could do to help.

[Amy B.]

Oh no! How horrible! Big hugs!!!

[Ember Rose]

Sounds like he figured if you can't be together then there is no point.

[sunshyne57]

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry you have to go through this right now. Please know that you have all of us to come to for support. Hugs!

[pickle0313]

Originally Posted by KatieH52

I have to agree! And bail on his 2 babies as well. WTH? Good riddance, sounds like you're better off on your own! One less BIG kid to worry about.

I'm still sorry you have to deal with this while pregnant, I wish there was something I could do to help.

The other two are to my ex-husband who ironically when I told him of my situation (he didn't know I was pregnant yet, as I planned to wait til after the first trimester to tell him) said "I may hate you sometimes, but I will try to be there for you. Just breathe." <---- that was the look on my face when I read that text message. But, it is nice to know he's at least being a grown up about this.

[SammyJ]

So sorry you are going through this. I have to agree with you and if he is not man enough to stick by his pregnant partner then you deserve better. Don't know what else to say but anytime you need to vent, we are here for you ((hugs))

[CaliMama]

Ugh, hopefully he's just confused and overwhelmed, maybe he needs to run to see how stupid that is? Men think very differently than we do, and usually make some AMAZING mistakes in order to learn the simplest things. I am hoping he gets some clarity and comes back, he sure is making a big mistake


I am sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you're strong and smart so you can totally do this if doesn't come back. Hang in there, hugs!!

[pickle0313]

Smart, yes. Strong, I try....

Yes, I can do this without him... one way or the other. But I just found out I don't have short term disability at work and even if I pick it up during open enrollment it won't cover me when I'm off w/ the baby. You have to have it for 9 months before you can use it. Nice. So basically that translates to I have no income when I'm off with the baby.

[RUNNER25]

I am so sorry, you should not have to be put through this. Hopefully I don't sound too harsh, but that is NO man who deserts the mother of his child because he is overwhelmed. You deserve better momma!

I know how things can be very overwhelming. DH & I are going through this right now with an unplanned 3rd baby. I am very scared. DH is too, but he has not let on. He stays strong for me.

It's called responsibility and being an adult is not running from them. I'm so so sorry, but you sound like a very strong woman and a good mother, you can do it and we're here for you as much as we can be!

[pickle0313]

Originally Posted by Ember Rose

Sounds like he figured if you can't be together then there is no point.

No, he has always had the option of transferring back to the office here in our town. He took the transfer up there from this office here only because the weather up there was better. That was before we were together & expecting. So he had other options besides running off.

[DivaMommy09]

I am so so sorry! Maybe soon he will come to his senses, but you seem like a strong person and like you said another bump in the road but it doesn't have to be a forever uphill climb, like they say, this too shall pass!