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distraught over him


Forum: March 2013 Playroom

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  #21  
September 6th, 2012, 11:20 AM
Scarlet Starlet's Avatar Teleport Birthing Founder
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 733
Quote:
Originally Posted by pickle0313 View Post
He asked your opinion on becoming a single parent?

Is this guy smoking something?

I'm totally confused.... If he cares about you, and this baby, why would he be asking your opinion on becoming a single parent?

Let him take the job making bank. That means more child support for you since he wants to be a douche.
This, word for word.
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  #22  
September 6th, 2012, 12:29 PM
mojo-risin's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 602
Will he be making enough money to justify you leaving your job and moving?? Is there a similar position he could find closer to you and LO?? Is this a purely selfish decision, or is he trying to find a way to support you and the baby? I am in no way defending him, or trying to diminish your feelings, but as a male (the ones who are REAL MEN) he probably has the instinctive desire to provide for his progeny. I know my husband worries more about how he will be able to provide/support our children than he does about almost anything else (and if it meant moving/being away from us, he would do it in a heartbeat). Is there any way that this could be driving his decision?

If it is purely selfish, and he has no plans to support you and his child, then like pickle said, let him take the job and then collect the child support. More money for you!!
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  #23  
September 6th, 2012, 12:50 PM
WannabeAMommy87's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 241
Maybe I missed something when reading but did you suggest moving with him? I know how that is with the economy sometimes you gotta follow the money.
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  #24  
September 6th, 2012, 06:41 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 372
He was probably thinking about being supportive and being bored with just going to school for one class, but I'd rather he be here being supportive. I also don't think he realizes his idea of a good job makes less money than I do now. It still would have been possible to move this summer up until last week. My poor old car died and I had to get a new one. My finances are stretched now making car payments. I literally can't afford to leave nor afford the bigger apartment I would need with a baby. I only got the new car because I knew, at the time anyway, he was absolutely moving here in Jan. Then he called to say he might change his mind and stay there. I panicked. It didn't help that he said he'd ask for sabbaticals if he got the job to come see us in the summer. This is not a good idea. Finish school and get an even better job.

In the end, I did talk to him and he's back to finishing school. Eventually, after he finishes, he'll look for a job back near family. Hopefully by then I'll be able to move. I just need him here emotionally more than anything. He can contribute more by being here. It was just ridiculous to ask if i'd be ok with him not being here and visiting when the mood struck that hurt.
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  #25  
September 6th, 2012, 06:41 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 372
He was probably thinking about being supportive and being bored with just going to school for one class, but I'd rather he be here being supportive. I also don't think he realizes his idea of a good job makes less money than I do now. It still would have been possible to move this summer up until last week. My poor old car died and I had to get a new one. My finances are stretched now making car payments. I literally can't afford to leave nor afford the bigger apartment I would need with a baby. I only got the new car because I knew, at the time anyway, he was absolutely moving here in Jan. Then he called to say he might change his mind and stay there. I panicked. It didn't help that he said he'd ask for sabbaticals if he got the job to come see us in the summer. This is not a good idea. Finish school and get an even better job.

In the end, I did talk to him and he's back to finishing school. Eventually, after he finishes, he'll look for a job back near family. Hopefully by then I'll be able to move. I just need him here emotionally more than anything. He can contribute more by being here. It was just ridiculous to ask if i'd be ok with him not being here and visiting when the mood struck that hurt.
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  #26  
September 8th, 2012, 09:44 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by daykara View Post
He was probably thinking about being supportive and being bored with just going to school for one class, but I'd rather he be here being supportive. I also don't think he realizes his idea of a good job makes less money than I do now. It still would have been possible to move this summer up until last week. My poor old car died and I had to get a new one. My finances are stretched now making car payments. I literally can't afford to leave nor afford the bigger apartment I would need with a baby. I only got the new car because I knew, at the time anyway, he was absolutely moving here in Jan. Then he called to say he might change his mind and stay there. I panicked. It didn't help that he said he'd ask for sabbaticals if he got the job to come see us in the summer. This is not a good idea. Finish school and get an even better job.

In the end, I did talk to him and he's back to finishing school. Eventually, after he finishes, he'll look for a job back near family. Hopefully by then I'll be able to move. I just need him here emotionally more than anything. He can contribute more by being here. It was just ridiculous to ask if i'd be ok with him not being here and visiting when the mood struck that hurt.
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