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Do you and you SO agree when it comes to choices for baby?


Forum: March 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
September 9th, 2012, 12:06 PM
A*LOT*OF*HOPE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have been pretty lucky so far. Kyle and I agree on almost everything. If there is something we don't agree on we are great at compromising. The only thing we can agree on so far is names. I wanted to cloth diaper, he said ok, I wanted a Midwife, he said ok(until we found out it was twins), I wanted a home birth, he didn't, so I agreed. I don't want our baby to have certain vaccinations, so he did the research and agrees. He's also very supportive about a natural vaginal delivery. Funny thing, other than names we agree on everything so far, except nursery furniture.....LOL I want black, he wants white, I want grey walls, he wants green. I just think its funny that we can agree on all the serious stuff, but its furniture where we butt heads....hahaha
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  #2  
September 9th, 2012, 12:11 PM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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lol im glad you seem to agree on all the really big issues (though IMO what colour you pain the nusery is pretty important too )

for the most part DH just lets me do what i want in terms of major choices involving our kids, i do ask him his opinion but he usually just says do what i think is best, since ive done all the research and he has not he trusts that I will make the best possible choices for our kids
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  #3  
September 9th, 2012, 12:15 PM
A*LOT*OF*HOPE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish_Wristwatch View Post
lol im glad you seem to agree on all the really big issues (though IMO what colour you pain the nusery is pretty important too )

for the most part DH just lets me do what i want in terms of major choices involving our kids, i do ask him his opinion but he usually just says do what i think is best, since ive done all the research and he has not he trusts that I will make the best possible choices for our kids

I wish DH was more like that....hahaha, but he loves to research things, so I give him a topic and he becomes more knowledgeable than me, lol.
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  #4  
September 9th, 2012, 12:26 PM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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lol its nice and a pain at the same time, id like it if he was more informed about some things, but at least he isnt arguing about it without really knowing what hes talking about

side note for the nursery, white if its girls, black if its boys, and light wood if its one of each (but for some reason i have it stuck in my head that youre having girls, no clue why)

and id go grey with an accent wall
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  #5  
September 9th, 2012, 12:36 PM
brandi6088's Avatar Super Mommy
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we are the same, names, birthing options, we got that covered no arguements, now when it comes to the furniture, and care seat... we have a problem LOL
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  #6  
September 9th, 2012, 12:44 PM
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I'm glad you two agree on most. Jamilee and I can't see eye to eye on anything but names (and that's just because he knows that I've had my heart set on certain names since I was like 15). I wanted home birth, he thinks we'll both die that way. I don't believe in certain vaccinations as well, and he believes that this also cause our child to die. I want natural, he doesn't think I can handle the pain. I don't like circumcision (BIG ONE FOR HIM), and he can't even give me a valid reason why it should happen. I want cloth diapers, he thinks it sounds gross/ is indifferent. I want to breastfeed, he doesn't think it's necessary. He didn't want to tell anyone I was pregnant until it would be painfully obvious (which it already is starting to show). I haven't even bothered bringing up furniture yet. Oof.
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Last edited by Run_Kat_Run; September 9th, 2012 at 02:33 PM.
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  #7  
September 9th, 2012, 01:00 PM
A*LOT*OF*HOPE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brandi6088 View Post
we are the same, names, birthing options, we got that covered no arguements, now when it comes to the furniture, and care seat... we have a problem LOL
Car seats were a big one for me, I did all the research and decided on Chicco, he tried to change my mind a few times, but I was not going to give in. We bought both our car seats last weekend, and when he saw them all in real life, and compared them side by side, he said it was no brainer we would get the chicco ones....hahaha.
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  #8  
September 9th, 2012, 01:03 PM
Athme's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Daniel and I haven't discussed too much yet.

Coming from a medical background we discussed vaccinations, we both want everything age appropriate.

We don't really have a choice of type of birth as I am high risk.

We both agreed on disposable diapers cause they are more convenient.

We both like the idea of breastfeeding if I can as it is cheaper and better for the baby.

Names we are still tossing up, but as I think I mentioned before I fully believe that the name brings attachment to the child and a name one likes and the other does not is not cohesive to initial attachment so we both have to fully agree on a name before it is "the name".

We both want a sky blue nursery wall with clouds.

And that's all we have discussed; Daniel is fairly laid back and wants to do what is best for both of us but knows as a nurse, I might know a bit more on the medical stuff so he is happy to concede.
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  #9  
September 9th, 2012, 01:19 PM
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We don't agree on too much and what we do agree on it's for different reasons. Some of the things have taken time. Cloth diapers I think he finally agreed to because we found out we were pregnant right before he deployed. Because I've been working on that for THREE YEARS and he still was like...if I have bad Mexican and poop myself I throw my underwear away. Why wouldn't our future child be good enough to get the same treatment?

Some of the other things...he's big on structure. So he doesn't understand why I don't want to follow "The Rules". I like neutral with pops of color and he doesn't like to see kids wearing black clothing ever.
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  #10  
September 9th, 2012, 01:28 PM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
We don't agree on too much and what we do agree on it's for different reasons. Some of the things have taken time. Cloth diapers I think he finally agreed to because we found out we were pregnant right before he deployed. Because I've been working on that for THREE YEARS and he still was like...if I have bad Mexican and poop myself I throw my underwear away. Why wouldn't our future child be good enough to get the same treatment?

Some of the other things...he's big on structure. So he doesn't understand why I don't want to follow "The Rules". I like neutral with pops of color and he doesn't like to see kids wearing black clothing ever.
OMG thats hilarious, for real i needed a good laugh!
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  #11  
September 9th, 2012, 01:30 PM
A*LOT*OF*HOPE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
I like neutral with pops of color and he doesn't like to see kids wearing black clothing ever.

I love black.....lol Clothes(not goth though), furniture, everything.
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  #12  
September 9th, 2012, 01:36 PM
rachna's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yea we discuss everything and for the most part agree. We have never fought or argued about anything but sometimes have debated.
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  #13  
September 9th, 2012, 01:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A*LOT*OF*HOPE View Post
I love black.....lol Clothes(not goth though), furniture, everything.
It's legitimately my favorite color. I love high contrast and I love the way it plays off of other darker fall colors....I just love it everywhere. I originally wanted a pink and black room for a girl with black furniture (because I just thought brown would look weird in there with the pink and black and pops of white) and you would have thought I was promising to deliver the baby into the arms of Satan.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish_Wristwatch View Post
OMG thats hilarious, for real i needed a good laugh!
Life is never dull with my husband. And even though it's the most ludicrous thing ever, I know he truly deeply felt that way. Like everytime it'd come up hypothetically he'd say something like that. Like in his mind cloth diapers meant we didn't love our kid enough to give them super fresh clean diapers out of a package.
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  #14  
September 9th, 2012, 01:45 PM
EverLovely's Avatar Veteran
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Having already been married for almost 14 years, we've had loooottttss of time to discuss and weigh things out. We have a shared vision for parenting, definitely.
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  #15  
September 9th, 2012, 04:22 PM
naalie's Avatar Co Host of the March DDC
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DH and I are pretty much on the same page for everything. He's SUPER radical and a HUGE research person. If you tell him no vaccinations, he will find TONS of research and come up with his own research then will be able to teach a class about it.

We agree on breastfeeding, we both think it's the healthiest option for our baby as long as I am able (I had a hard time with DD). We both agree on having the baby next to me until the baby sleeps through the night because I'll be getting up to bf. We both DON"T agree that I should sleep in a different room because he doesn't want to lose sleep with the baby/me waking up. He is "eh" about cloth diapering and I'm pretty gung ho. He's SUPER into midwife and homebirth and I'm 50/50 because I almost died with my daughter. he's been COMPLETELY against getting ultrasounds and has given me HUGE guilt about it (though he was the first to ask when we find out the gender). But this is all stuff he listens to me when i tell him how I feel. In the end, he respects my decisions and listens. And if his opinion is different, he shows me valid research until I agree he is right. I guess we talk everything through because we've learned that (being married 13 yrs this December).
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  #16  
September 9th, 2012, 04:28 PM
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There is ONE thing that we've butted heads on and that is circumcision. If we have a boy I do not want to circumcise and he does. Mostly because he basically thinks the kid will be mad at us later if we don't because he would have been mad at his mom if he wasn't because he would have been "different".

I told him that if our kid feels that way, he can always pay to get it done himself when he's older.

After that he agreed with me not to but said I would be answering the question of why we didn't to our son later on. LOL I told him as long as HE (jesse) doesn't make a big deal out of it, it may not even matter.
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  #17  
September 9th, 2012, 04:34 PM
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THIS I do not have to worry about which is a blessing in some ways but in other ways I might like to have disagreements with someone on some things..... :/
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  #18  
September 9th, 2012, 04:41 PM
Amy B.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The only thing we are still not sure about is the name for a girl. Otherwise, he just kind of goes with the flow. He's not good at making decisions, like ever, so I pretty much make them all myself. I guess I'm lucky that way...except when I really want some feedback.
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  #19  
September 9th, 2012, 04:56 PM
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DH and I agree on pretty much everything. I explain my reasoning and he usually agrees. I want to get an elective ultrasound, and he told me it wasn't necessary flat out...thats basically the only thing he has objected to.

Oh and I had black furniture for my DD and it looks awesome. We will be using it again for this baby. We are getting DD a new white dresser since the black will be in the babies room. So in all reality, its not like baby will be in the crib forever, you can always switch it up later on as they grow out the furniture.

One thing hubby & I AGREE on and feel STRONGLY about is circumcision. We will definitely be circumsizing if we have a boy. We both work in surgery and have kids brought in at older ages to have this done & it is much more traumatizing for them to have it done at a later age, especially when they are in the stage of being embarrassed by people looking at their genitals i.e. the nurses, doctors, parents, etc. Plus a lot of parents have their children being made fun of so they break down and bring them in. Children can be cruel....just saying.
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  #20  
September 9th, 2012, 07:27 PM
KtKuKi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DH agrees with my decisions on pretty much everything because he knows I do tons of research. He just doesn't have time to do the reading, but will read things if I ask him to. The only thing we didn't agree on last time was circumcising. We ended up having a girl, so it didn't matter, and I don't plan on bringing it up this time unless we are having a boy. Honestly, this is one I will put my foot down on. I carried this baby, and I refuse to cut off of piece of his body...but, I'm hoping it doesn't come to that, and DH will agree once he's done some reading on it.
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