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Hospital Tour annoyance


Forum: March 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
November 13th, 2012, 07:56 AM
emw emw is offline
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I need some advice here since I can't decide if I am being an unreasonable pregnant lady or if the hospital is a bit unreasonable..LOL. So we went on the hospital tour last night since it is not the same place I had DD at. Our plan is that we want DD to be the first person in the room after the baby is born. She is VERY excited that she is going to be the "first" one to hold her baby sister. Now at the tour, we got all these guidelines of when siblings were "allowed"..which is basically between 9am and 8pm. So my question was if I have the baby at 10pm, are they going to tell me DD can't be there? The basic answer was yes. I am really really sad about that. We are a very close little family and DD just isn't a sibling, she is very much a part of this whole experience. And to top off my aggravation, the nurse basically was like "oh you're not gonna want her there anyways"...I could see if she was a toddler or something, but she's 6 AND she is my little buddy...she is ALWAYS with me so I definitely want her there. She fully understands the situation and we want her to feel as included in this as we can (as well as SHE wants to be included)! DH and I are just possibly considering telling them too bad so sad and are going to have her there regardless of what they say. Best case scenario, this baby comes between 9am and 8pm...but my luck...she'll come right outside those times..HAHA!

Oh and one other question, I was not planning on getting an infant carrier (hate them). We have a Britax Marathon that we are going to use for the new baby. The hospital is saying to HAVE to have a carrier to take the baby home, is this normal?? I really don't want to waste money on a carseat I will never use and I don't have any friends with babies to borrow one..any suggestions??

Sorry this is long! I guess I just needed to vent, this has been bothering me!
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  #2  
November 13th, 2012, 08:07 AM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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i dont think visiting times are unreasonable, the hospital here has similar guidelines. Its to allow others in the hospital proper time to rest and to respect that they want to sleep/have quiet time overnight. Im sure your daughter is a wonderful sweet child but i dont think you can or should expect them to bend the rules and allow her there if baby is born at 11pm or 1am, if someone was to try and bring her up they would likely just deny her entry, and they can do that.

Also if you have baby in the middle of the night wont you still want your daughter to have a proper nights sleep, she wont know what shes missing and then will get a wonderful surprise when she wakes, she can still be the first person to meet the new baby if you want, you dont have to allows others to visit before her.

I can understand why you would be bummed though, the next best option is to see if she can be one of your support people, most hospitals allow some people there as support, while you are in labour, so if you had her and your DH as your support people she might be able to be there while her sister is born. Some have rules and regulations about who can be present as your support people though (as well as the number of people you can have) so you should look into that, and possibly call it ask. She may not be able to stay and go spend time with baby after you are moved out of L&D though (if baby is born overnight)

as far as the infant seat goes i think its to make sure that you have one to properly have baby in the car, our hospital didnt care or even ask to see our seat but if you dont have one im not sure what they would do honestly, you could ask that someone accompany you to the car to see that baby does in fact have a proper seat
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  #3  
November 13th, 2012, 08:08 AM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would really question the part about carriers versus car seat. I would definitely call later and go above her head on that one because I don't see how they can stipulate the difference when the law merely says you need a car seat, not an infant carrier.

I do know some hospitals have very strict policy about children visiting late on the maternity floor due to noise and so on. I would ask if there is an age cut off for that – do they count a 10-year-old as a child, what about a 12-year-old, what about a 13-year-old? Is it merely for children who are young like little toddlers.

And also in situation it might work if you butter the nurses up on that specific shift. Then you might be able to get away with "here is my precious almost seven-year-old who is very quiet and very calm, we want her to come up and hold the baby, now would you like a plate of homemade cookies". If it's 2 AM then your daughter might still be asleep but if it's right around that cut off time, I would think that they could make an exception especially if you tell them that you would like it to be "only for 30 minutes" and then once she gets in the room and is calm and quiet and everything is fine then they won't be watching the clock and trying to get her out of there

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  #4  
November 13th, 2012, 08:22 AM
emw emw is offline
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LOL, yes I guess I should clarify that if the baby is born say after midnight or before 6am I would not expect her to be up there, the kid likes her sleep....a lot! LOL! I think talking to the nurses is a good idea...I know everyone thinks their kids are angels, but DD really is a good kid. She is super quiet and tends to be pretty shy so maybe if they see that, they'll be okay with her being there "after hours" if need be.

I can have two support people there, but I really do not want her in there while I am laboring, she's pretty sensitive and I don't think she would like seeing me in pain. Thats one of the other bummers about this hospital...when I had DD, they had birthing suites and you never left the room, and the room was HUGE!!! This hospital moves you between delivery and then your reg room...and they are tiny. So very tiny compared to the other hospital which is a bummer.

I'm def going to question the car seat thing more, I told DH that if they make a big deal about it, then he can just bring the big 'ol Marathon in there..LOL!!!!
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  #5  
November 13th, 2012, 09:01 AM
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I don't think it's unreasonable for you to be upset and bummed about the hospital's visiting hours, but I also don't think it's unreasonable for the hospital to have, and enforce, their visiting hours. Especially when it comes to kids.

There is no doubt in my mind that your little girl is a very well behaved, sweet girl, but in the "heat of the moment" of meeting her little sister, I have to imagine she'll get awfully excited and may not be able to fully control her excitement and giddiness. I'm imagining lots of squeals, giggles, jumping, and skipping! I don't think it's necessarily fair to the other new mommies who are trying to get some rest, feed, or settle their newborns to have to worry about an older child scrambling around. *shrugs* JMO

As far as the car seat, I'd have a member of the nursing staff accompany you to your vehicle and watch you put the baby in the carseat if need be. Unless it's a state law, I don't think the hospital has the right to tell you what kind of car seat you have to have.
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  #6  
November 13th, 2012, 09:12 AM
TreeTog's Avatar Love is in the Air!
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Do you have to deliver at that hospital? Have you called the head of labor and delivery to voice your concerns?

I had an infant carrier for my kids. The discharge nurse put me in a wheelchair and took me to my car. She said it was policy. I couldn't walk out.

Leslie
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  #7  
November 13th, 2012, 09:33 AM
Athme's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I completely understand you being upset. I would be too!

Could your daughter be considered a support person but not be there the whole time? Or is it a requirement that your support people are with you the whole time you are in labor?
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  #8  
November 13th, 2012, 11:01 AM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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when i had my oldest son in the hospital we were aloud 3 people (so i had my DH, MIL and FIL) however my FIL spent like no time in the room while i was in labour, he came in said Hi made some stupid jokes then went to get coffee and hung out it the waiting room until Ross was born, but since he was on the list of support people he was aloud to come meet Ross before we were moved to a recovery room
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  #9  
November 13th, 2012, 11:22 AM
RUNNER25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Let me start by saying you are NOT being unreasonable.

I can understand the hospital's policy on children. I could see a family bring their 6 young kids with them because they have no sitter and totally disrupting the other laboring moms. But my goodness, your daughter is 6! I don't know what I'd do about that...but if anything, I'd just bring her in and see what they do!

I've always had an infant carrier. Like you though, I don't like them much. We have a Britax Marathon also. Honestly, when it's time to go I'd say: we have the infant seat in the car, you can come and check it if you want. My nurses never really "checked" our seat...nor did I get a wheelchair ride to my car (and we're on the 3rd floor of the hospital).

I guess I'd be more passive aggressive with both things and just do what you want.
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  #10  
November 13th, 2012, 11:31 AM
Scarlet Starlet's Avatar Teleport Birthing Founder
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Even though she's 6, children that age are still prone to unpredictable behavior. What if she sees the baby and gets jealous, or starts crying/getting whiny at 11 at night while waiting to see the new baby? They are trying to respect the quiet and peace of the maternity floor during non-visiting hours. As a patient, I think I'd be appreciative of such a policy-children are unpredictable and you just never, ever know. I wouldn't want to be disturbed by a grown child making too much noise when I'm trying to sleep, or having it wake the baby. If it really bothers you that much, find a different hospital.

I guess I don't get the carrier thing-wouldn't a carseat constitute a carrier? I just assumed they meant you have to have something to transport the baby home in?
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  #11  
November 13th, 2012, 01:15 PM
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Most people wouldn't lug a convertible car seat up into the hospital. But an infant seat is seen as more portable. If they want to see that you have a carseat they can wheel you to your car and not be lazy about it.
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  #12  
November 13th, 2012, 06:22 PM
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FYI-However you go about the carseat situation-depending on how far along you are when you deliver they may make you bring the seat in. I don't know how other hospitals are but where I delivered DD they did some sort of "carseat challenge" of her in the carseat(she was born at 35 weeks and considered preterm). They took her from the room and monitored her for a specified amount of time to make sure she could "tolerate" it. Although I pictured some sort of machine that simulated off roading and bounced the baby all over the place.
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  #13  
November 13th, 2012, 11:12 PM
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Our hospital requires baby to be in the carseat prior to discharge from the hospital. Staff is not allowed to put the infant IN the seat, but they can help mom & dad with making sure everything is fastened properly. This is fine with us, as I think it'll be easier to carry her out in the infant seat and bundled up, rather than carrying her freely and attempting to load her into the during during the cold time of the year.

As far as visitors goes.. I guess that's a facility protocol thing. I get that they don't want a lot of people causing issues... but geez.. can they *really* tell you that you have to send your daughter somewhere else? Honestly? If it's you, her, and DH.. what will they say? "I'm sorry, your husband has to take her somewhere, sorry if he misses the delivery" Pssh.. doubt it. I've seen friends who have had their older children sleep in the chairs in the delivery room while waiting for their siblings to be born. I don't get why a hospital would be so against that.

When my nephew was born (at 2:30am) the waiting room was PACKED. There were 9 people in our family, waiting. They didn't kick us out.
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  #14  
November 14th, 2012, 02:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie_ View Post
FYI-However you go about the carseat situation-depending on how far along you are when you deliver they may make you bring the seat in. I don't know how other hospitals are but where I delivered DD they did some sort of "carseat challenge" of her in the carseat(she was born at 35 weeks and considered preterm). They took her from the room and monitored her for a specified amount of time to make sure she could "tolerate" it. Although I pictured some sort of machine that simulated off roading and bounced the baby all over the place.
The mental image of this is cracking me up right now.
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  #15  
November 14th, 2012, 07:06 AM
emw emw is offline
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I think I am going to have a talk with my OB at my next appt. to see how lenient or not the hospital really is. Both DH and I just didnt get a good feeling about the hospital and we are both not too happy with it all. For the most part, it just seems their stance is the feel like they are "giving me a break" and its "all about the mom". And for some people (like my SIL who had her babies there) want that...but for us, this isnt about me, it is about all three, soon to be 4, of us. Hopefully my OB can shed a better light on the situation. DD is usually at my appointments with me and the staff LOVES her and always comments on how good she is so maybe that'll weigh the odds in our favor

Yea, as for the carseat issue, I'm just gonna go with what I have. I guess when the time comes, what are they gonna do...hold us hostage?!?!? We have an excellent carseat so I cant see them not letting us leave. Again, probably something I can discuss with my OB office.

And as for switching hospitals...I don't think thats an option unless I switch ob's. My old hospital, mile wise, isn't that much further, but time wise is. We live around a lot of lakes and the route to that hospital is all one lane roads that get REALLY backed up in rush hour (would take over an hour to get there...about 40min if traffic is good) and there is only one way there from my house. The hospital we will be at this time has 3 routes we can take and all are on major roads/express ways. So it is just a bit of a "safer" option (we can get there in 15-20min).
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  #16  
November 14th, 2012, 10:30 AM
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I get how you feel. I had a conversation with my midwife just to find out my hospital doesn't really have policies on anything, then tend to leave most things up to the attending physician who's delivering babies. Fun. :/ Hang in there.
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