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Frustrated with DH, story of my weekend...


Forum: March 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
February 12th, 2013, 06:32 PM
Storm122's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 652
Sorry this is long, but it envolves my entire weekend up to today. I had my shower this past weekend, which was super fun! DH decided to go up north Thursday to Sunday to go ice fishing with his dad and brother. Was a little hurt because I wanted him around for this.
my sisters and I organized all the clothing in the nursery Saturday night and went through all the gifts. man is that a lot of work! but super fun! we stayed up super late and I was a lost cause most of Sunday was so super sore,slept and kept putting stuff away and organizing.
We got hit with a small snow storm Sunday so it took him 4 1/2 hours to get home instead of 3.. was excited to show him all the things we got for baby, which didn't happen cause he had to shovel before we went to bowling Sunday night. no big deal, I will just show him later.
Sunday night he was asleep on the couch before I could show he much. Poor guy, fun weekend with the guys took it out on him.
Monday he leaves for Wisconsin for work, I have an appointment at the midwives then chiropractor appt., lunch with my mom and sister and driving down about 35 mins to a college for a free ultrasound! Was a super busy day and so fun seeing my big guy in there! measuring 6 pounds and I am 35 weeks today. Talk to DH all of 2 times yesterday and for short 10 min conversations. He cuts me short when I am talking to him Monday night cause he is watching tv. Really?! I am starting to get annoyed with him, he didnt even seem too intrested with what I had been looking forward to for weeks!
Today I go into work and work on business paper work, I own a salon, hate end of the year stuff! He comes home today and is super distant, opening drawers and taking stuff out and asking where i want it. ahh how about in the drawer where it was!....I ask what's bothering him and he comes unglued on me! He doesn't yell, thankfully, but can be demeaning sometimes, maybe I am being overly emotional.
Telling me I have to go through all my s*<t cause the house is a disaster and it won't get any easier with a baby. Now I am hurt and pissed off! My living room has the pack and play setup and bouncer and about 8 empty boxes and gift bags ect... that need to be taken out. Guess I will do that myself cause it must be too much work for him....
I am really upset about this, he has no clue what it is like for me, this past week I feel like I have hit a wall with this pregnancy. Slowed down, am starting to hurt and just can't do as much... He hasn't been here on top of it so now I am just frustrated!
I am sure it is just hormones and what not making me so emotional but seriously! I want him to go away again...
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  #2  
February 12th, 2013, 09:43 PM
Julie_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 1,934
I'm sorry he's being kind of an *****. Maybe he's just going through his own stuff with having a baby that will be here soon. Men don't always get the whole concept of being a dad til they actually lay eyes on the baby after it's born. My DH did similar things when I was pregnant the first time-he partied a little too much and just didn't get my sometimes psychotic need for things to be done and done a certain way. He also wasn't all that excited about some of the baby stuff. Maybe try spending some time with him and don't talk about anything related to the baby-just talk about him and what he's been up to lately. I hope he comes around!
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  #3  
February 12th, 2013, 10:29 PM
WannabeAMommy87's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 241
Aw hun I'm sorry but I know exactly how you are feeling! My DH just said the same thing to me pretty much, he said this place is gross and I need you to clean the ceilings, the walls and the window seals in one day and I tell him how much pain I am in most the time and it will get done when I get it done and he says it won't be easier when the baby is here and you need to do this stuff. I have no one here either, just me... so he expects me to do all this crazy deep cleaning, set up nursery putting together my own bassinet, do all the regular housework, take care of the animals, cook him a fresh dinner and sex him up. . . yeah it's a lot to do at this point in pregnancy! I hope your DH starts to treat you better! I am trying to convince mine to let me get a maid for the hard stuff.
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  #4  
February 13th, 2013, 06:08 AM
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Location: Very Far Upstate, NY
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I agree with Julie, I think men struggle equally as much as we do this late in pregnancy. I'm not trying to stick up for him, or justify the way he treated you, that wasn't necessarily called for, but I bet he's feeling overwhelmed as well. My DH went through something very similar before we had our son and it was tough. He didn't understand my emotions and the best way to deal with them, AND, he was dealing with his own anxiety and feelings.

Try going out on a date and talking about your fears and anticipations. Or just go out and not talk baby at all. I'm sure once your Little Man is here everything will fall in to place and you'll be back to a new "normal".

Good luck and hang in there! Only a few more weeks to go!
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  #5  
February 13th, 2013, 07:49 AM
Storm122's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 652
thank you ladies! I agree he is probably going through his own anxiety with the baby coming. We are going out tomorrow night so hopefully that will nice and relaxing! He has been super good about everything too, minor set back I guess.
But at the same time, he won't let me do things on my own, it's really sweet. Like laying back on the couch I have a hard time getting up, he comes and helps me off. Why can't he be like that all the time!
I think he feels a little bad too cause he attitude changed when he got home after bowling last night.

5 more weeks! Our lives will change dramatically!
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  #6  
February 13th, 2013, 10:33 AM
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My DBF is exactly the same way.. It comes and goes with him, but gets annoyed if I'm grumpy(like this morning he told me I had an attitude problem and not to bother him today.. It was 6:30am and I had only slept 3 hours/can't sleep anymore cuz of this pregnancy.) also, I can't do dishes anymore(no dishwasher) cuz I can't do them without soaking the floor/myself, and he just hasn't done any at all in months. I'm about to throw the dishes away! ANd laundry (no w/d at our apt) and I can't carry the baskets in the laundry mat anymore and he keeps pushing off helping me do it, but then gets mad that my dirty clothes are on the floor next to the hamper.. Like HELLO! They don't fit in the hamper anymore.. He can leave a mess anywhere and every where and I don't even bother complain cuz it never changed, but I leave a tiny mess of anything anywhere and I get a lecture like I'm a kid!

Anyway. I try to say he is stressed out, but he's not. He's excited as hell, and just simply can't understand what being pregnant is like. All I wanna do is be able to clean and cook etc.. Like I used to, but I just physically can't. I feel disabled, an I need his help.. Men just will never get it. I think once the baby's are here, maybe they will get it a little more. I think mine will, I hope!!
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  #7  
February 13th, 2013, 01:22 PM
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I am so glad I am not alone in this. These sound very similar to what I've been going through. My bf isnt currently employed, and instead of helping out he plays video games. I feel like there is a divide forming and its driving me insane. Making it harder still is having to pack and move from one room at work to another, and then do it again in a few weeks (the principal is also a male who just doesn't get it) and then come home and have to do everything. He takes out the trash. Occasionally I can get him to use the george forman grill.

I hope it gets better.
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