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Advice on moving away from baby father


Forum: March 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
April 9th, 2013, 04:26 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 22
My LO's dad and I broke up right before he was born. He suddenly realized after she called out of the blue he was still in love with his ex. Im heart broken and an emotional mess. And I also have to worry about finding a new place to live as i cant afford my apartment without him. A good friend of mine is begging for me and the baby to come live with her 5 hours away. I have been in a really bad place lately and think it would be good to be in a new town with new people and not have to see my ex all the time. he is really bad at seperating himself from me and acts like we are best buds. Im still in love with him and I don't know how to let go. Its a chance for me to get my head together plus Ive always wanted to move away and think its a great time for a new start. I would be back in town once a month to see my parents and he would be welcome to come see the LO anytime.

The problem is my ex may have been a crappy boyfriend but he is a good dad. He wants to be a big part of LO's life taking him 2-3 nights a week and helping anyway he can. I feel bad separating them. I don't want to rob my son of that relationship.

I also dont want to feel stuck because of him. And I need to create some kind of emotional distance before I drive myself crazy.

What are your thoughts? Would I be in the wrong to take baby away from his father for my own wants/needs?
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  #2  
April 10th, 2013, 03:29 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Boston
Posts: 286
I don't know if this will help, but I believe your emotional well being is a crucial part in allowing you to take care of yourself and your baby. If my husband and I were to split, now that we have our son, I personally would not be able to stay in the same home with him. So if you can't find an apartment or living situation that is affordable in your current town then I would move. Just because you move 5 hours away doesn't mean that it is forever and could give you the distance you need emotionally. I would make sure that your ex could see his son as much as possible and make a schedule with him before you move.
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  #3  
April 10th, 2013, 08:48 AM
RUNNER25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 5,092
Quote:
Originally Posted by nrse_em View Post
I don't know if this will help, but I believe your emotional well being is a crucial part in allowing you to take care of yourself and your baby. If my husband and I were to split, now that we have our son, I personally would not be able to stay in the same home with him. So if you can't find an apartment or living situation that is affordable in your current town then I would move. Just because you move 5 hours away doesn't mean that it is forever and could give you the distance you need emotionally. I would make sure that your ex could see his son as much as possible and make a schedule with him before you move.
I agree, well said. I wish you the best of luck, hugs.
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