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Well, last night was the night: I broke the news to my hubby. I had been nervous all day about how he would handle the news of having a 5th child. After I got back from picking up our oldest and some friends at the football game, I went down into his office/man cave with my creations. Our 2nd came downstairs and the nosy little thing wanted to know what was in the bag, and I refused to tell her or show her. Then, the hubby wanted to know, but I told him it needed to wait. Eventually, she got bored and left. He immediately started guessing what it was, and everything had to do with our oldest (15 1/2) and what trouble she might have gotten into. I made him promise that he was not going to get angry and was not going to yell. That took a little time, and then I just handed him this:
I think stunned is an understatement. He would not look at me for probably 15-20 minutes, and I could tell that he was crying. However, he did not yell and did not get angry so that was a plus. He wanted t know if I was sure, etc. Like me, he is also concerned about the reactions of our families, particularly his so he was in complete agreement with holding off on telling them. He was thinking maybe around his birthday (in March). I told him I was hoping to hold off until we went home for Christmas, and he thought that sounded pretty good. He calmed down fairly quickly, and then we started discussing logistics, bedroom arrangements for the girls, plans for care, etc. At that point, when I could tell he was a little calmer, I gave him this:
I told him I had to tell him last night because I knew I couldn't leave him with the 4 girls today without an explanation when I have to go for the ultrasound. I also told him that I wanted him to have the option to go, but I wouldn't be upset if he didn't want to. And really, I won't. I know he needs time to accept this. Overall, much better than I expected. I completely understand his shock.
So, I don't recommend this method of surprise for everyone, but I am VERY thankful I didn't tell him when he was so stressed out a couple of weeks ago. It would have gone MUCH, MUCH worse. The plan is to keep it secret from as many people as possible for as long as possible.
Wow it must've been very unexpected! Did he cry from stress or joy?
Um, definitely stress.
However, I am happy to say that at 4 this morning, when our 1-year old woke up, he was holding her, and then once I got her situated, he cuddled up with both of us and told me it would be okay. We've gotten through it before in tough financial spots, and we will again. Ultimately, that is all I could ask for and more than I was hoping for.
Phew!! I have been waiting to hear about how things went! I am so very happy for you, and your family! I know we don't know each other, but I can relate to the fear of judgement and comments by others. I am so sick of rude people.....which is why I often isolate myself and the kids from the family. Anyways, congrats on getting support and encouragement from DH!! Everything will work out! ;-)
Karen (34), mom to five (soon six) beautiful children....DS (15), DD (7), DS (6), DS (2), DD (5mos) and expecting baby #6 late May 2014!!!*Please do not mention on FB*
Pregnancy stats for baby #6, due late May 2014:
BFP (approx) 8dpo
(approx) 10dpo= HCG-31
(approx) 12dpo= HCG-123
(doubling time of 22.73 hours!!! )
8wk u/s appt scheduled for Oct. 14th
Prgnancy stats from baby #5:
13dpo= HCG-120, P4-20.5
19dpo= HCG-1427, (P4 was not taken again)
Doubling time = 40.31hrs
Doubling = 50.47hrs (from 19dpo to 27dpo)
First doc appt & u/s scheduled for Sept 10th