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Ultrasound tech wouldn't tell us the gender (6 years ago)


Forum: April 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
November 13th, 2012, 04:01 PM
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I was just talking with some friends about this and wondered if anyone else has ever had an experience like I did with my first pregnancy.

When I went for my big ultrasound, the tech never asked us if we wanted to know the gender. I assumed she was just doing all the other important stuff first, but that she would eventually ask us if we wanted to know, but she didn't. She just did her thing and then turned the machine off and told us everything looked good. I asked her if she could tell the gender. She begrudgingly turned the machine back on, looked around for a minute, and then said that wasn't the purpose of the ultrasound and that she didn't like to guess.

This was my first baby and I had been so anxious for this appointment, and I left so disappointed. Obviously happy that the baby looked healthy, but really let down that we didn't find out the gender.

My doctor's office did elective 3D ultrasounds, so we ended up getting one at 29 weeks, and we did find out that he was a boy at that one.

Does that seem unusual to you guys? I have never heard of anyone else getting a tech that just refused to tell them the gender. Have you?
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  #2  
November 13th, 2012, 04:04 PM
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That seems pretty rude to me! I mean if you want to know you want to know and who are they to tell you that isn't the purpose? I mean hell just take a peak its not like it would kill them to look for an extra 30 seconds!
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  #3  
November 13th, 2012, 04:08 PM
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I think if it hadn't been my first, I would have had more nerve. As it was, I just felt like she was in charge and if she said that's how it was, that's how it was. But I was so sad!
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  #4  
November 13th, 2012, 04:15 PM
nikki-pie's Avatar Expecting #1 Apr 5th!!
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I can imagine! I mean that is something a lot of women are so excited to find out the moment they find out that they are expecting
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  #5  
November 13th, 2012, 04:15 PM
ThaiSpice's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah, I've never heard of that happening. I mean, yeah, it's not "the point" of the scan, but it's a big deal to a lot of couples. Strange that she acted that way! I wonder if she always did that.
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  #6  
November 13th, 2012, 04:34 PM
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It sounds to me like she was having a bad day (not that it should be an excuse!). I mean yes, we know that ISN'T the purpose of the ultrasound but most people look forward to it.
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  #7  
November 13th, 2012, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nameetog View Post
It sounds to me like she was having a bad day (not that it should be an excuse!). I mean yes, we know that ISN'T the purpose of the ultrasound but most people look forward to it.
You're probably right. I hope she wasn't like that with everyone, or there would have been lots of sad pregnant ladies! It was the only time I ever saw her, so I don't know if her mood was different than normal or not. Probably just a bad day for her and bad timing for me.

I'm just really hoping everything goes normally for us next week.
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  #8  
November 13th, 2012, 06:18 PM
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I hope you get a much nicer tech and you get to find out if you are team pink or blue!! That really would have made me one sad momma!!
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  #9  
November 13th, 2012, 06:36 PM
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I never had that experience, but my sister dealt with that in both her pregnancies...they were both army docs and made it very clear that they wouldn't try to look at the gender but if it happened to show its parts then she could find out. ...Hope you have a nicer tech this time around!!
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  #10  
November 13th, 2012, 07:13 PM
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Up until this past July the hospital here would not tell you the gender of the baby. It was not a necessity to the US and actually against policy. Could that have been the policy at the time?
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  #11  
November 13th, 2012, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twirlbird View Post
Up until this past July the hospital here would not tell you the gender of the baby. It was not a necessity to the US and actually against policy. Could that have been the policy at the time?
I don't think so, because my friends always knew what they were having in advance.
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  #12  
November 13th, 2012, 09:13 PM
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Hmm, that is weird. With DD, they told me at 18 weeks and this time around I had an ultrasound at 13 weeks and the tech offered to give me her "educated guess" as soon as she started.
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  #13  
November 13th, 2012, 09:55 PM
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When I told the tech yesterday that I didn't want to know the sex, he said that he only tells people if he happens to see what it is and then asks them if they want to know. He doesn't go looking for the sex...only if he happens to see it during the rest of the ultrasound. Sounds fair to me.
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  #14  
November 14th, 2012, 06:08 AM
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Here where I live....Nova Scotia, Canada they won't tell you unless you're considered high risk. Other than that you're out of luck unless you pay to have a 3D ultrasound done elsewhere.
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  #15  
November 14th, 2012, 06:45 AM
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To be fair to the tech (and unbiased for a moment)... its not really the point of the 20 week ultrasound. My drs both practices have explained the purpose is to check out all the babies parts and make sure everything is functioning correctly... A side product of that is in all that scanning they can find out the gender usually and are willing to tell you.

That being said, she did sound kinda rude!

I am kinda hoping this baby doesnt play nice and makes it so the tech cant tell what we are having! I dont want to know but I know hubby REALLY does. I have only agreed to finding out in case its a boy... Now think I should tell hubby we will be finding out or do i let him stew?
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  #16  
November 14th, 2012, 06:45 AM
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That seems extremely rude and unprofessional. Most Ultrasound techsshould assume that you want to know the sex of the baby.
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  #17  
November 14th, 2012, 07:52 AM
~AmazedByYou~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Finding out the gender is absolutely not the point of the 20 week ultrasound. As some others have said.. it is sometimes a lucky chance that they're able to tell. It is the same as ultrasound techs not being able to tell you what they see as far as things being wrong, etc. It's not even within their scope of practice and it's against all policies to make a guess. Lots of people who aren't able to find out gender due to positioning at the anatomy scan, demand repeat ultrasounds. Wrong. That's not how it works.

Maybe the tech isn't good at making gender guesses and didn't want to risk her job/reputation by giving you an uneducated or incorrect guess.

She surely could have been nicer about it or explained it better, but people blame lots of things on ultrasound techs when it is out of their hands.
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  #18  
November 14th, 2012, 09:10 AM
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I know it's not the POINT of the 20-week ultrasound, but most techs I've worked with will at least give it a shot. Actually, with my last pregnancy, the tech couldn't tell because she had her legs crossed, but she told me if I came back in a week, they would try again without a charge. I thought that was really nice, but I told my husband there was no way I was going back without him since he's the one that wanted to know so I didn't take her up on it.

Also, my sister, when she was pregnant with her twins, got a good lecturing at the doctor's office because the tech told her that it was twins. Apparently, they were not supposed to say that. I understand the concern, but really, I think a mother has a right to know that she's carrying twins.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hkystar View Post
I am kinda hoping this baby doesnt play nice and makes it so the tech cant tell what we are having! I dont want to know but I know hubby REALLY does. I have only agreed to finding out in case its a boy... Now think I should tell hubby we will be finding out or do i let him stew?
This was me last time! As it turned out, she didn't play nice, and even at a repeat ultrasound still wasn't cooperating. We couldn't find out until a week before I delivered her what she was, which was plenty okay by me. Oh, and after telling my family that the baby didn't cooperate at the anatomy scan, my dad's response was "Baby -1 , Mark - 0."
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  #19  
November 14th, 2012, 09:26 AM
~AmazedByYou~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Number5OnTheWay View Post
Also, my sister, when she was pregnant with her twins, got a good lecturing at the doctor's office because the tech told her that it was twins. Apparently, they were not supposed to say that. I understand the concern, but really, I think a mother has a right to know that she's carrying twins.

Yes, she has the right to know she's carrying twins. Which is why her doctor would have told her at her appointment. Being someone who had a tech tell her something was wrong... trust me, you'd rather hear it from the doctor.
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  #20  
November 14th, 2012, 10:23 AM
Grace's Avatar Seven is Heaven
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I had rude techs in the past, found out the gender but the tech was just grumpy the whole time. With Isaac and this baby the ultrasound office my dr uses is great, they have a Radiologist that actually watches the 20 week scans from his office as they happen so he can look for issues, he then comes in and repeats some of the scan to look at things that maybe he didn't see well from his office. He goes through everything with us right there, the techs get all the info on the baby they need and in the end we are asked if we want to know the gender and she goes looking. The radiologist even confirmed with ds that he was all boy, certainly family friendly, they get the job done but at the same time they make the experience as nice as possible, you are even allowed to have family go in with you for the big scan.

I know in some places they may have rules on finding out the gender, I had read other posts in other places on things like this or even the parents finding out the gender but the tech refuses to print out a gender pic. That is one thing I am happy about with my office is that they don't get so bent up on rules they make the experience undesirable, they seem to understand how excited many of these parents are about a new baby and how the big ultrasound is a big deal for many reasons, so it's a time to be happy not frustrated .
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