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Forum: April 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By sarahlorrain
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  #1  
March 13th, 2013, 09:39 AM
Cortney6983's Avatar Cortney
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 1,330
Ok maybe I'm just taking it wrong but people keep acting like I don't know what I'm getting myself into... They laugh and say get rest now you won't get any soon! Or hope your ready for this! Hope you don't like sleeping much ... Everyone seemed to not act like that to my family friend "28" and my SIL "30" yet because I am 22 I get comments like that... People act as though I'm going to be a wreck and regret it.. I am very happy with having this baby and very happy with who I'm having her with! I am actually fine with getting little to no sleep I am anticipating the hard times because that's what being a parent is its hard work with an extreme amount of love why should my age matter? Yes there will be breakdowns days I cry and wonder why anyone would do this... But I will look into her eyes and that will all go away. I am not going into this thinking having a newborn will be easy I know it's hard but I am ok with this. I just want people to respect me and the fact I am going to be a mom just like they are and not treat me like I'm going to fail.

Sorry just ranting after my SIL (new mom) commented me on Facebook about something
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  #2  
March 13th, 2013, 09:42 AM
sarahlorrain's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Those comments bug me too. I still get them and this is my 5th child. People keep commenting on my future lack of sleep. I breastfeed and cosleep, so I miss very little sleep actually. That's the least of my worries!
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  #3  
March 13th, 2013, 11:03 AM
kimberley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I also still get that, and this is my second.

AGAIN, PEOPLE. GET SOME NEW MATERIAL!
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  #4  
March 13th, 2013, 11:30 AM
Atank03's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 497
Yep this is my 3rd and a have a co-worker that acts like this is my first rodeo!
She treats me like I am dumb when it comes to this, telling me everything I am going to need and how rough it will be. Ugh..drives me crazy!
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  #5  
March 13th, 2013, 11:45 AM
~AmazedByYou~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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In all honesty... you really don't know what you're getting yourself into until the baby is born. You can think you're 200% prepared and know what to expect, but you don't. It's a WHOLE different ballgame when it's your own child and experience... and while it's easy to say you're okay with missing sleep... you don't understand the level of exhaustion until you're in the moment.

I feel prepared for baby #2 but who knows what it will really be like once he's here? NOBODY.
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  #6  
March 13th, 2013, 11:58 AM
Missa_Mae's Avatar First Time Mommy!
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Although this is my first and I'd like to say I know EXACTLY what I'm getting myself into but I would only be lying to myself. I feel prepared as in - the room is done, the diapers are bought, the clothes are hung up, etc. but I am in no way prepared (or should I say, I don't know how to prepare) to be a mother ... it's all a learning game and each day you will probably learn something different, or something you thought you'd be able to handle, you may not be able to handle.

If it's time for a diaper change and your SO is too "sick" to help - or playing Xbox (or whatever system you mentioned earlier in a diff. post) - it may make you upset now because he doesn't "get it" but if he's going to act like that when she's here you've got a whole different situation to deal with.

Age is just a numner, whether you're 22 or 32 or 42 and having a baby, it's still a whole new experience. Every baby is different.

I'm excited for the changes and I plan on taking everything as it comes ... but I know it won't be that easy.

Ok I'm done /steps off soapbox
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  #7  
March 13th, 2013, 11:59 AM
ThaiSpice's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah, the comments are frustrating. Unfortunately, though, sometimes all you can do is smile and nod, and then rise to the occasion and prove them wrong, so to speak.

The truth is, no, no one is truly prepared for it, BUT you learn quickly what needs to be done and how to function/adjust your lifestyle. I found that SOME of the "tips" people gave me before my first were spot on, and others were not true for me at all. Not everyone has a baby who cries all the time, or doesn't sleep, or whatever. Everyone's experience is unique. I did not co-sleep/bedshare, and I can count on one hand the number of truly sleepless nights I have had with Grace. She has always been a great sleeper. Number 2 could be the complete opposite, though.
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  #8  
March 13th, 2013, 12:01 PM
Twirlbird's Avatar Mia and Henry's Mama
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^what she said.

Its not an age thing at all that people are telling you that. One of my friends had her first at 33, guess what? She got those comments too. People aren't telling you that as a chide against your age, but instead trying to get you to understand that your understanding of parenthood is not even a sliver of the reality of it, and there is no way to truly be prepared for it.

No matter how many books you read, classes you attend, mantras you say, you are going to be unprepared for the actuality of parenthood.

And you know what... More than likely, you will say the same things too once you are a btdt mom
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  #9  
March 13th, 2013, 01:17 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I also get comments like that and I am really very close to 40. Too close ; ) and I have two kids already. Honestly I think people don't know WHAT to say and they always feel the need to say SOMETHING so not everything that comes out of people's mouth is well thought out, or even true. I found the things I was worried about when I had my first weren't ever really an issue it was stuff I had never even thought of that caught me off guard. I agree with Kimberly, just rise to the occasion and prove them all wrong!!
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  #10  
March 13th, 2013, 04:01 PM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
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I think people try to be funny and aren't. I don't like when people tell me those things either. No, I haven't been through it before but I knew what I was getting myself into when I got pregnant. I think some are also genuinely concerned (though they don't always know the best way to put things).
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  #11  
March 13th, 2013, 04:15 PM
Cortney6983's Avatar Cortney
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Location: New Hampshire
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellasky View Post
I think people try to be funny and aren't. I don't like when people tell me those things either. No, I haven't been through it before but I knew what I was getting myself into when I got pregnant. I think some are also genuinely concerned (though they don't always know the best way to put things).
I agree with that! My SIL is snooty to me for no reason she just is, her parents are older and retired they shower her with gifts apon gifts ... My parents work a lot and don't have the money to do that so she looks at us as less than her wonder if that's why she says that stuff to me about being ready
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  #12  
March 13th, 2013, 04:22 PM
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I am over 40 and have 2 kids already and I get comments sometimes. I agree sometimes people don't know what to say. I also agree every child is different. My daughter was a horrible sleeper and my son was the best sleeper and baby I could hope for. I am fully prepared this one will be different from both but I tend to think he will be more on the difficult side since he is already not doing his job and turning head down for me. Lol. Plus the thought of me running after a toddler at nearly 50 scares the @&€# out of me!!
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  #13  
March 13th, 2013, 05:05 PM
*Anya*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with what some of the girls said, it has nothing to do with age. Sometimes people just feel like they need to say something and don't know what. And you truly don't know what you are getting yourself into. I thought I was so prepared with my daughter, I babysat every kid around me all my life, pulled many all nighters in college, I thought there weren't going to be many curve balls. Boy was I wrong! A whole different ball game when it's your kid 24/7, you are responsible for sustaining and keeping this little person alive. You make important (medical or otherwise) decisions on behalf of this tiny little person. Shrug those comments off, they'll get a lot worse when baby arrives and all of a sudden every cousins's brother's neighbors friend has advice for you lol.

Last edited by *Anya*; March 14th, 2013 at 12:28 AM.
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  #14  
March 13th, 2013, 10:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I've done this before, but it's been long enough that I almost feel like a first-timer again.
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  #15  
March 14th, 2013, 04:47 AM
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i wouldn't take comments too personally. I think people just feel comfortable telling pregnant people their opinions! I am not sure why, but they do! Regardless, for thousands of years people have been becoming moms, and they continue to do it over and over again, regardless of the lack of sleep. I am doing it for the fourth time and still don't know exactly what to expect...but I'm doing it....Don't worry about it!
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  #16  
March 14th, 2013, 06:13 AM
plastikmom's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South carolina
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I get comments too, especially since my kids will be 6 and a half years apart, people actually ask if I want to start all over again. I agree with the girls above, sometimes people don't know what to say and try to be funny or whatever and don't realize they sound like snotty know-it-alls. I always act extra nice when something bothers me and say things like "yes, its so exciting to start over, we can't wait to do it again." Being sweet usually shuts them up. Maybe telling people "I have no idea what this journey into motherhood will be like, but I can't wait to find out" would be a good reply??
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  #17  
March 14th, 2013, 07:06 AM
2XlinkedPHkids
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 820
People are *********s!

With that being said, upon thinking about it, people generally tend to keep their mouth shut around me when it comes to saying stuff like that. O.o Maybe its because I have no problem being a ********* in return? "I won't get any sleep? Are you SERIOUS? OMG. I could have NEVER expected that, what with having a four year old and all!"

Actually, my favorite saying (and feel free to borrow this - lol) when someone says something stupid/obvious/irritating is "No sh*t, Sherlock!"
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  #18  
March 14th, 2013, 01:46 PM
JennBer's Avatar Super Mommy
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I don't really have that problem, haven't really had anyone say things like that to me. I seem to be the other way, I've had toddlers, the twins came into my life when they were almost 4 months old. I've never done a newborn and I am so nervous about being able to handle it all and everytime I try and talk to someone about it they just start going on about how great I'll do and that after the twins this will be easy. And I know that should comfort me but it seems to do the opposite it makes me feel even more nervous because everyone is so sure and I'm not. And it starts making me wonder what people are going to say if I do fall apart and am unable to handle. I know some of you may think I am crazy that I should just take the compliments and go with it but sometimes I just can't seem to.
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