Log In Sign Up

Vent Post


Forum: April 2013 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree4Likes
  • 2 Post By MsRK
  • 1 Post By *Anya*
  • 1 Post By Capeladybug

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To April 2013 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
July 22nd, 2013, 06:25 PM
Missa_Mae's Avatar First Time Mommy!
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 3,055
...yes this is a vent post

I've been pretty stressed out lately ... having some family drama issues with my family ... having some issues with my BF's family not giving me personal space and alone time with the baby. I've been crazy busy at work. I've been feeling really overwhelmed and it's making me sad.

I am trying to please everyone around me but it seems like nothing I'm doing is working. I'm either giving too much one way and not enough the other, or vice-versa. I just don't know what to do ... I can't seem to get through an entire day without getting upset, yelled at, guilt tripped ... it's so frustrating.

I just want to take Tessa and run away ...



/end vent
__________________
Sweet Child of Mine



Co-Host of the April 2013 Playroom

Reply With Quote
  #2  
July 23rd, 2013, 12:00 AM
MsRK's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,611
Wow.. I know first hand how frustrating that is. I know ALL too well the feeling of everything coming down on top of you at once while you are killing yourself to try to keep everyone happy. I USED to do the same. EVERYONNNNNEEEEE would come to me for advice, money, help, issues , technical support, on and on. (Even at work) It was nonstop and if I didn't help they would start with the whining, b*t&hing or guilt trip crap. I had NO time, money or energy for myself.

.. In reality, it never works and you just end up burnt out and half way insane. You will have to learn the art of saying "No" and sticking with it even if people are being a-holes around you. After a while you will get the rep that you can't be pushed around and what you say goes.

Start saying: "Sorry, but with all due respect I need alone time with my child now. You can visit with her again at "blank" time." They will piss and moan and try to give you the guilt trip and you have to be ok with that. Take your baby somewhere that you can be alone and close or lock the door and ignore the nonsense. Then bring your child out when you said that you would. Start with smaller segments of time then increase it over time to condition them to the way things will be working now.

It will be difficult at first but 99% of humans always respond to training and conditioning and can get used to anything. If you don't TAKE BACK your time, space and freedom don't expect that these people will wake up and one day and realize that they are being intrusive and that you are crumbling.

You have to talk to your BF and being direct and upfront about what effect this is having on you and tell him that you need his support. Don't, however, be surprised if you find yourself going it alone on this whole take back your life thing.

You CAN do it and it DOES work. I'm sure that you have spoken to your family already about you needing some space. But on the off chance that you haven't, try to respectfully approach them with it. Chances are they will say something along the lines of "We help you out all of the time and you can just give us some time to spend with the baby, blah blah blah." DO NOT engage people in back and forths. Just say, well I will be needing some time alone with her for 30 minutes and I will bring her back. Then leave.

You can come and vent here or in my PM whenever you want and I will be here to listen.

That old saying that "You can please some of the people, some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time." is true.

Good luck and I hope that you get some peace soon. You deserve it. *HUG*
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
July 23rd, 2013, 06:14 AM
ThaiSpice's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: AR
Posts: 16,420
Sorry! I hate it when things get that way. Feel free to vent away. And hopefully you can find a way to get some peace and get away from it all.
__________________
Kimberly






Are you pumping for your little one? Planning to pump?
Have a question or need support? BTDT and have wisdom to share?
Join us in the Pumping Mommies board!


Reply With Quote
  #4  
July 23rd, 2013, 08:56 AM
Excited first time mommy!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 245
*hugs* you're in my thoughts
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
July 23rd, 2013, 10:01 AM
*Anya*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bay Area. CA
Posts: 11,030
the only person you have to keep happy is your baby, everyone else can shove it. you don't owe any of them a **** thing. hugs.
MaineBean likes this.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
July 24th, 2013, 11:30 AM
Purple_cat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,206
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRK View Post
If you don't TAKE BACK your time, space and freedom don't expect that these people will wake up and one day and realize that they are being intrusive and that you are crumbling.
It was helpful for me to read this, thank you!

I am sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed. I get like this somewhat often because my natural tendency is to please people and take care of people. I end up doing things or not doing things to keep the peace or certain members of my family happy. I always hope that the favor will be returned to me, but it rarely is and then I fall apart once I reach my breaking point.

I hope that you can carve out some time for you and the baby alone. Can you make 1 weekend day just for you, baby and your SO? No other visitors?

I know that I really need that quiet unstructured time built into my week. Maybe that could help you?
__________________
My Ovulation Chart
Reply With Quote
  #7  
July 25th, 2013, 08:06 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NJ, USA
Posts: 951
Oh Mel, I am right there with you. If you need to vent more you know,where to find me on FB!!
Missa_Mae likes this.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:15 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0