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When do you start trying the cry it out system? How do you tell if they really need you or just being fussy? Lilly is always fussy we have always catered to her every whim trying to make her happy... but sometimes she fussed for no reason so not sure if she is needing that cry it out ..idk lol
We don't ever cry it out, ever. I will always go to my children when they cry.
Do some research on CIO. There are differing opinions but many that show it causes children to not trust you, not be more independent, and could potentially cause harm. Those that do support CIO suggest not until at least 6 months old.
Never, never force your child into premature independence. There is nothing for her to gain from that. Babies cry for a reason, it may seem like there is no reason, but it could be something as simple as minor discomfort, boredom, loneliness etc. She has no other way to communicate with you, when babies stop crying it's not because they miraculously learned how to "self soothe" it's because they gave up on their care givers. Right now it might seem like she'll be this way forever, but trust me all too soon she won't be a baby and won't need you to soothe her and you'll wonder where that time has gone and you will not regret even one minute of rocking/ bouncing your fussy baby.
I agree with everyone on the early stages that you can't let them cry it out. However, crying for a few minutes because you can't get to them is not harmful. I talk out loud to the baby when she's crying and I can't get to her letting her know that I'm coming. i say mommy's coming, I am just....
I have however let my babies once they are much older cry out for a little longer, once I was sure they were fed, changed, and cared for completely...even snuggled them. I would never do it often, but I get the fact that sometimes you need a minute! But not till probably 9 months or so...
We let Ingrid fuss for a couple of minutes when we know she's got everything else (fed, dry, cuddled, etc) because sometimes she's tired and about to fall asleep. Or if I'm doing something like trying to poop or make dinner!
But she's not ready for legit crying it out. That's not until babies are older. I didn't do it with our son (though we probably should of- he was the WORST sleeper) because it was just too hard for me. There are lots of books out there if you want to learn more. I believe friends of mine used The No Cry Sleep Solution- I think.
Definitely a hot topic. There's lots of research (and opinion) out there on either side of the issue, so my best recommendation is to read up on it. "Cry it out" can take on many forms--certainly does not always mean leave baby in a room alone crying indefinitely until he gives up.
I think that at this age, though, most everyone would feel like it's too young to do any sort of sleep training/cry it out/self soothing methods. Like someone else said, most who are ok with it don't recommend trying it until at least 6 months.