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I just don't get it...


Forum: April 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By ThaiSpice
  • 1 Post By dylans_mommy
  • 1 Post By *Anya*
  • 1 Post By Cortney6983

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  #1  
November 4th, 2013, 12:09 PM
Cortney6983's Avatar Cortney
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 1,330
Last night we went to a family friends house for diner (they have a 10 month old son) My parents were there as well as one of my aunts... I don't know why I bother going to these things... we get there Lilly was fussy because she was hungry so we feed her and put her into the bouncer they have (same as the one we have) then it gets bad... my mom goes and gets into Lilly's face I don't understand why but Lilly freaks out and cries EVERY time she sees my mom she screams, and other people as well but with my mom it's instant and then my mom gets all upset over it but insists on trying a million times which would be ok at our place but making her mad at someone elses house when we are TRYING to have a good time sucks, anyway my aunt asks to pick her up (lilly was in the bouncer doing fine) I feel rude to say no because people like to hold babies well she picks her up Lilly is quite mad then she hands her off to my dad who again Lilly starts getting upset and screaming over, So we figure maybe she is tired we put her down for a nap. While she was down for a nap my parents were talking to Lindsay (she has the 10 month old) and they kept saying how great he was how he never cries how they love holding him which hurt me. They also talked about my brothers son Caleb who was over their house on Halloween, how great he is how he smiled so much and didn't make a peep crying wise. Then they would make jokes like "oh don't look at her in the eyes she will cry" or "she just hates you" I just don't understand why Lilly cries at most everyone is this REALLY a phase? In this apartment building we have a family member I don't see much but we have seen her on passing and she will stop to see Lilly and again she will scream cry like she is scared to death of her. I don't know how to help her over this, It sucks to always get those sympathetic/ surprised looks from others like they are wondering what is wrong with her, others make jokes "oh she hates me already" "all kids usually like me why doesn't yours" I fear when someone wants to take a look at her because I don't want her to get upset she is tough little cookie to get calmed down.... sorry a vent post. I don't see anything wrong with her she is smart. she is a fussy baby. I just wish I knew how to help her so we can go places and not worry about her screaming if she is looked at/ talked to by someone and I don't mean she cries she SCREAMS
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  #2  
November 4th, 2013, 12:44 PM
ThaiSpice's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: AR
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I'm sorry! I don't have any advice, really. We were at a party on Saturday evening, and Anna was doing the same thing--any time anyone else wanted to hold her she would cry. As soon as I took her back, she'd be happy and all smiles. She's such a happy baby--even at daycare--but with people she doesn't know, she will cry. It's that way even with my mom, who she sees at least a few times a month. Eventually they will outgrow it, but I know it's tough, because like you said, people love to hold babies. It's sorry that people would make comments or compare her to other babies, though. All babies are different, and people shouldn't judge or make assumptions (even though they do). What I try to do is say something like, "She's at that stage where she is not comfortable with people she doesn't know very well," or "She just needs her momma right now," or something like that. Usually people will back off or give her back. If they don't, and the crying continues, I'll just take her back.
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  #3  
November 4th, 2013, 02:30 PM
Cortney6983's Avatar Cortney
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 1,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaiSpice View Post
I'm sorry! I don't have any advice, really. We were at a party on Saturday evening, and Anna was doing the same thing--any time anyone else wanted to hold her she would cry. As soon as I took her back, she'd be happy and all smiles. She's such a happy baby--even at daycare--but with people she doesn't know, she will cry. It's that way even with my mom, who she sees at least a few times a month. Eventually they will outgrow it, but I know it's tough, because like you said, people love to hold babies. It's sorry that people would make comments or compare her to other babies, though. All babies are different, and people shouldn't judge or make assumptions (even though they do). What I try to do is say something like, "She's at that stage where she is not comfortable with people she doesn't know very well," or "She just needs her momma right now," or something like that. Usually people will back off or give her back. If they don't, and the crying continues, I'll just take her back.
Thank you! I do appriciate the feedback it does suck and I know it will get better I just hate seeing others judge her/me because of it. she is such an amazing little girl but no one can look past the crying and everyone labels her as one of "those" babies
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  #4  
November 4th, 2013, 05:13 PM
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I have social anxiety and I know when Dylan was younger and we would go to family functions, I could see it rubbing off on him. I was anticipating that he would be upset, so of course he was screaming while everyone wanted to pass him around I had to take him in the other room and calm him down. More importantly, I had to calm myself down.

Have you tried letting people feed her, give her a favorite toy, change her diaper? I know the jokes are rough, but people tend to make light of a situation especially they don't understand.

Are you staying at home with her? Once I put Dylan in daycare so I could go to school, he warmed up to people a lot easier. I've also noticed he tends to not like the people I don't particularly care for so he's definitely picking up on my emotions. I had to hold his hand sometimes while others held him. Don't be embarrassed by something you cannot help, just smile and say she's a momma's/daddy's girl.
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  #5  
November 4th, 2013, 05:31 PM
*Anya*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bay Area. CA
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Your kid is an individual, a person's a person no matter how small. She has her own character and quirks, and if some of those is a dislike for unfamiliar people then she is in her right to have those preferences. Children aren't accessories or public property, people need to learn to respect babies the way they would any other person. You as a mom need to tell them to butt off, your kid is your priority not someone else's feeling and not how the situation may appear. Lilly's well being is the only thing that truly matters, and if being held by others stresses her out then she doesn't need to be put in that situation. Stick up for your kid and eventually the others will realize that she is not a toy.
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  #6  
November 4th, 2013, 07:30 PM
Cortney6983's Avatar Cortney
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New Hampshire
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dylans_mommy View Post
I have social anxiety and I know when Dylan was younger and we would go to family functions, I could see it rubbing off on him. I was anticipating that he would be upset, so of course he was screaming while everyone wanted to pass him around I had to take him in the other room and calm him down. More importantly, I had to calm myself down.

Have you tried letting people feed her, give her a favorite toy, change her diaper? I know the jokes are rough, but people tend to make light of a situation especially they don't understand.

Are you staying at home with her? Once I put Dylan in daycare so I could go to school, he warmed up to people a lot easier. I've also noticed he tends to not like the people I don't particularly care for so he's definitely picking up on my emotions. I had to hold his hand sometimes while others held him. Don't be embarrassed by something you cannot help, just smile and say she's a momma's/daddy's girl.
The thing is, is no one wants her when she cries they hand her back I have tried explaining she needs someone else to take her when she cries they all do the ok that sounds good but yet when she cries she gets handed back to me which is fine but I was hoping to try it lol I have left the room she still cries at them and usually whomever has her finds me. I am a stay at home mom for now I wanted to get past this stage she is at (very fussy baby) because I don't trust people to handle her because she is tough and we recently lost a little 3 year old girl from someone hurting her

although I do have to say today my mom did stop by the apartment Lilly did cry at her at first but I put her in her jumper in the living room my mom sat about 5 feet from her in a chair and she talked to her and waved to her even got up picked up a toy and gave it to her and she was fine for about a half hour but my mom was NOT in her face she was not over doing it she just sat back calmly mostly talking to me but randomly talking to her it was nice for a change!
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