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40 days of Mourning


Forum: Islamic Parenting

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  #1  
April 11th, 2009, 08:00 AM
~FaRRaH~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Asalam Alaikum

So I have a question...

While in Egypt my DH's cousin passed away (stage 4 stomach cancer, never saw a doctor until it was that far along) so we had to mindful of everything we did because we didnt want to be disrespectful of the family's mourning. There some family is very old fashion and strict on the 1st 40 days and some are far more relaxed.

How much do you agree with as far as mourning process? Would you give up TV, music, certain foods, wear black outside the home or whenever someone enters your home, avoid laughter and many more? Or do you believe in living life, I mean I feel for the family but what purpose does it serve for us to put our lives on hold?
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Islam Jr. 09-20-2003 * Sumaiya-Alee 09-07-2007 * Angel Baby 01-08-2010
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  #2  
April 11th, 2009, 09:02 AM
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I was raised that if you put your life on hold you were being disrespectful to the person that passed. They wouldn't want you to stop everything for a long length of time, they would want you to continue living your life. Of course we try to be respectful if somebody else has a different way of looking at it, but when we lose somebody we try to celebrate their life and not mourn their death.
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  #3  
April 11th, 2009, 04:51 PM
Emily_In_KSA's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The traditions you are speaking about Farah (p.s. WELCOME BACK I MISSED YOU!!!) are not rules of Islam at all. They are parts of Egyptian culture, typically falaheen culture specifically. I don't agree with it. Mourning is a personal process and should not have "rules" aside from those given to us from Islam. For example in some poor areas of Egypt and other places in the Middle East people even HIRE women to scream and sob and throw themselves on the ground to "mourn" a person who just died. Islam is TOTALLY against this kind of drama, let alone hiring someone to do it....

So sorry to hear about your husband's cousin. My husband recently had a cousin die as well. Very sad!
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  #4  
April 12th, 2009, 07:41 AM
~FaRRaH~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah I knew it was cultural, I really dont agree with it either. We moved on quickly however we just remembered their feeling not to put things in the family's face.

BTW Thanks Emily! And sorry for your loss as well.
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Islam Jr. 09-20-2003 * Sumaiya-Alee 09-07-2007 * Angel Baby 01-08-2010
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