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I'm So Lonely....


Forum: Islamic Parenting

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  #1  
August 25th, 2009, 07:16 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 366
Salamualaikum my sisters...

I was a part of this forum during my pregnancy but then everything in my life got so hectic and could not keep up.. I feel bad to you sisters that I would just come and ask questions and leave... hope you forgive me

I felt like coming on here to let my feelings out i have no where else or anyone else..i feel so alone and trapped..im extremely lonely...i just dont kno how to relieve my pain and stress.. i only have my husband and daughter which alhamdulilah im so happy for and grateful..but i feel as if i need friends to keep me more sane and normal..

i hate the place i live in as there are no muslims at all and it's a pretty small town.. and when people see me wearing hijab they just stare at me like im a terrorist and even their kids look at me n say stuff to their mothers. i cant believe have ignorant people have gotten..i just cant take it anymore..ive been harrased numerous times...men have swore at me...gave me the finger..and so much more..i get treated like CRAP! even by my neighbours..ive become so awkward and weird from being alone and non social and think that everyone is talking about me..im scared im going to be crazy soon..

i want to function like a good mother and wife..im scared to go outside..i want to take my baby to the park, for a stroller or something i am afraid to leave to the grocery store.. i have no self esteem left.... i never did much either..when i was a teenager i didnt wear hijab so now i can feel a big difference..and i was from a city with lots of muslims so i had great friends there..i have been alone for about 2 years + i just cant take it anymore. i praying 5x alhamdulilah i try my best to be good..sometimes i feel like it's okay for me to take off this hijab, but i won't...i dont want to go back to my old ways..i promised allah i would please him... i just dont know what to do anymore..

my husband is supportive alhamdulilah but hes at work most of the time..and its not the same with a female friend..no wonder allah has said be nice to your neighbours and friends..because YOU REALLY NEED THEM! what i would do to have some friends now...i dont mind if they are not muslim , as long as they are mature i have no problems, its just that im scared of what they think about me, how they will react..uff..i cant explain..i dont know what to do

im sorry to come here and let all of this out..im sure people have worse problems than me..

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  #2  
August 25th, 2009, 08:42 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 20,233
I am so sorry. I know it isn't the same, but please feel free to come here and talk as much as you want. This is my only interaction with Muslim women and it really has helped.
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  #3  
August 26th, 2009, 06:25 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 366
thank you so much sister...im really sorry to look like a loser here while there are people with worse problems..
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  #4  
August 26th, 2009, 08:08 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 20,233
Don't be silly! You don't look like a loser in any way, shape or form. People can be very cruel to us regardless of where we live or even how old we are. When my oldest was 4 her teacher heard her say Bismillah before eating her snack and told her to never, ever say that outside of our house. My husband has been fired for being Muslim and my family regards my decision as a temporary interest. They just complain about how difficult their lives are because they can't have pepperoni pizza at my house. This is a problem that we all share in one way or another.

I really am very sorry that you've been going through so much in your community. It isn't fair to treat anybody that way. If they feel you should be judged for your decisions they should leave that to Allah.
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  #5  
August 26th, 2009, 08:13 AM
adam*s_mami's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,523
Aww dont worry you can come here anytime that is why we are here, I am not sure what it feels like to be harrassed because I live in a huge arab community and I dont wear hijab, but I def know what it like to be away from friends and family and feel alone when I moved away while I was married.....is there no masjid anywhere within driving distance that maybe you can find to meet some friends?....there is nothing you can do about what other ppl think of you and wearing hijab all you can do is keep presenting yourself in a islamic way, remain patient and understand that they are just ignorant ........Allah is rewarding you for this
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  #6  
August 26th, 2009, 01:00 PM
~FaRRaH~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 7,782
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(((HUGS))) Oh my!! You are extremely welcomed here whether you need to vent or want to stay we would love to have you stop in and share yourself with us. I am so sorry that you feel so alone, remember Allah would not give you more than you can handle! Stay steadfast and patient inshaAllah all you have done will be rewarded. Please stay and get to know us... we may not have a large group but we get along great and share the good and bad with each other. We are here for you!
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Islam Jr. 09-20-2003 * Sumaiya-Alee 09-07-2007 * Angel Baby 01-08-2010
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  #7  
August 27th, 2009, 09:17 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 366
Thank you so much everyone! You guys are right inshallah Allah will reward me for all of this.

Kathryn, no there are no mosques at all or any muslims here it sucks! I am so alone..like I said I wouldn't mind having non-muslim friends as long as theyre decent but seems like no one gives me a chance

and by the way I lived 5 minutes away from detroit (Windsor) and it was GREAT! I had lots of friends and I know how Michigan is..too bad I don't live there anymore
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  #8  
August 28th, 2009, 07:48 AM
adam*s_mami's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,523
Oh yea what a change there is so many muslims in windsor, wow I am sorry I moved from dearborn to some small boro in NJ and it was horrible for me at first but I just went to the mall and the gym and took a class and I ended up meeting a couple good people just try and put your self out there and talk to people....
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  #9  
September 2nd, 2009, 11:56 AM
shilo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Somewhere Green
Posts: 2,171
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way I have been through similar experiences myself. I used to live in an area where there were very few muslims and it was a rather intolerant community on top of that (not just to muslims). I moved after a while and here there are a lot more muslims so non-muslims are not so surprised to see me and I get fewer comments... the tradeoff though is it used to be when I would meet another muslim they were really friendly and wanted to spend time with me, but here there are a lot more and when I see another muslim sometimes they don't even answer my salam, they're off in their own cliques and not looking to make new friends, and it's hard to break in to the community. So I guess I do better with non muslims here but not as well with the muslims lol. Well, every community is different I suppose. Is there a possibility for you to move to an areas with a few more muslims? It would be helpful for your deen and for raising your family too. One of the reasons I am trying to hard to be a part of the community here even though they're sort of resistant is becuase I want my son to grow up knowing other muslim children and not be the only one. Also they have a couple islamic schooling options here.
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