Log In Sign Up

Shaving Hair?


Forum: Islamic Parenting

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Islamic Parenting LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
November 10th, 2010, 04:24 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,255
I understand it's sunnah to shave a newborn's hair, but I can't seem to get over it. We haven't shaved Omair's hair yet (2 months old) and my dh brings it up regularly. For me, it's hard not only to take a razor to my baby's head, but also to think his precious hair should be removed. His hair is perfect, why would I want to remove it? Can anyone better explain this tradition to me to help me go through with it? I also need some good advice on how to explain it to my family...they'd be shocked to find out we shaved his hair off. Thanks ladies!!!
__________________

Thank you GraysMama for my siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #2  
November 10th, 2010, 04:49 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 20,233
You already know where I stand on shaving a baby's hair. Sarah's hair is clean, sweet smelling, and just beautiful. It's staying put! I'll cry if you shave his beautiful hair! Some of the others might be able to help though.
__________________
~Thanks Babydoll213 for my awesome siggie!~



Reply With Quote
  #3  
November 10th, 2010, 05:04 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,255
Thanks Anna!! BTW your buttons are so great! Love them!
__________________

Thank you GraysMama for my siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #4  
November 11th, 2010, 03:44 PM
~FaRRaH~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 7,782
Send a message via MSN to ~FaRRaH~
DH and I have had this discussion and when we had our kids we even asked his parents (since they were the elders and resident muslim leaders for the family) and yes I it is sunnet, that is because they weigh it and donate equal parts as zakat for the babies good health and life.. now it should have been done on the 7th day however I would make a zakat payment and call it a day..I am sorry to your DH however I dont know anyone (Muslim familys) that still practice this, they donate $ instead. Best wishes to you.
__________________
Thank you Heather(hettyhoo) for my beautiful siggy





Islam Jr. 09-20-2003 * Sumaiya-Alee 09-07-2007 * Angel Baby 01-08-2010
Reply With Quote
  #5  
November 11th, 2010, 04:58 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 20,233
Wow, baby hair can't weigh that much. That's fascinating! And he gets to keep his hair if you pay zakat! Woohoo! I can't get enough of him, he's so adorable!
__________________
~Thanks Babydoll213 for my awesome siggie!~



Reply With Quote
  #6  
November 11th, 2010, 05:43 PM
~FaRRaH~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 7,782
Send a message via MSN to ~FaRRaH~
Also Mshah it is sunnah for a man to wear a beard and trim the moustache so if your DH pushes i would question why it is important and yet other things he doesnt follow. best wishes to you.

Anna, interesting isnt it. however i guess like everything we have to think when it started and would that be valid today,kwim? we have much better scales etc.
__________________
Thank you Heather(hettyhoo) for my beautiful siggy





Islam Jr. 09-20-2003 * Sumaiya-Alee 09-07-2007 * Angel Baby 01-08-2010
Reply With Quote
  #7  
November 12th, 2010, 02:30 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 20,233
True, currency is a LOT different now as well. I didn't even think about the beard, but that's an excellent point. If he doesn't keep his upper lip clean of hair and doesn't grow a proper beard he's not really in much of a position to make tradition based demands.
__________________
~Thanks Babydoll213 for my awesome siggie!~



Reply With Quote
  #8  
November 15th, 2010, 07:40 AM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,255
We did pay zakat after the birth, plus all of our Muslim friends shave the hair and think I'm off my rocker for not doing it. His entire family is in Pakistan and keep asking him if we've shaved it yet. For them it's gone beyond religion and just into plain old tradition. To them, if I don't let it be shaved then I'm disrespecting their traditions and giving them a reason to tell dh "I told you so" for marrying someone outside of their country and culture. Plus, before the birth I explained what Islam says about shaving the hair in order to weigh it for zakat, and he ignored me and said it's also because it's not clean. It seems to me that the general thoughts are that it's mostly due to the hair being considered "dirty" anymore, and not for zakat purposes. It's so frustrating. I get so tired of seeing so many natural-born Muslims confuse the religion with culture, and then I get put in a difficult situation.
__________________

Thank you GraysMama for my siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #9  
November 15th, 2010, 08:00 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 20,233
Okay, I was typing up a rant, but I'll be good...

Your in-laws though... Honestly if they say I told you so why should it matter? If he loves you then he should stand by YOU and not a cultural tradition that doesn't have religious application the way they imply. I'm so frustrated for you I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling!
__________________
~Thanks Babydoll213 for my awesome siggie!~



Reply With Quote
  #10  
November 15th, 2010, 11:38 AM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,255
lol...love your emoticons hahahaha! I'm used to these kinds of things, for the most part they're just annoyances that I can roll my eyes at and go along with. Compromise is definitely the word in our relationship. If we weren't going to Pakistan in December we could get away with not shaving it, but alas we r going. Im thinking of compromising to allow for a short buzz cut. That way no razor is taken to his head, and when we arrive it will look like we shaved it and its growing back in. Thankfully we had a son. If we ever have a daughter there will be no compromising on it!!!
__________________

Thank you GraysMama for my siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #11  
November 15th, 2010, 11:54 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 20,233
I can see how the trip would complicate things. In-laws just complicate everything! Mine are Catholic and my MIL wants to bury DH with a cross if she's still alive when he dies (great to think about that huh?), when he was out of it after his hernia surgery she did that cross thing on his forehead, and if he goes anywhere near her on Ash Wednesday she smears ashes on him. And she's one of the accepting ones!

Omair doesn't have much hair to begin with. Rather than make it look like it's growing back why don't you just say he's already (roughly) 4 months old, it grew back.
__________________
~Thanks Babydoll213 for my awesome siggie!~



Reply With Quote
  #12  
November 15th, 2010, 01:59 PM
shilo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Somewhere Green
Posts: 2,171
It is a sunnah, and in response to your question about the reasoning behind it: As I understand it this is so the hair will grow in looking thicker. To explain this: the baby hair that grows when the baby is born often falls out and is replaced by different hair. For instance when my son was born his hair was fine, straight, and nearly black. I shaved his head when he was a week old. It took a while to grow back in but when it grew in it was a much lighter brown. There have been several family anecdotes about the baby hair of various people looking different in color or curliness then the hair that grew in after they were born. Although I shaved his head because of the sunnah, I've known other families (non-muslim) who ended up shaving their babies head when they got somewhat older because the wispy hair they were born with started falling out in patches (to be replaced by the other hair). This seems to be more noticeable on babies that have very fine hair to begin with, babies born with very very thick hair maybe they have enough hair that it doesn't look patchy falling out (I wouldn't know... I myself am bald in my early baby pics and my son's hair was very fine and short when he was born. There was no patchiness once the new hair started to grow in). My ex husband also indicated that he understood that the hadith about shaving the head was about making it thicker, and the cleanliness that is mentioned in the hadith is not about the hair, but is a reference to circumcision.
I was nervous about the shaving too (and, I haven't cut his hair since) but I used an electric shaver and he actually seemed to enjoy it at the time. I saved his baby hair in a little envelope to go in his baby book Its amazing how different it looks now, this will always remind me of how it looked when he was born.

ETA: Forgot to mention, in regards to explaining to your family. I just told my family it was an islamic tradition, without going into much detail. They complained and tried to make me feel bad about it, but this happens and is going to continue happening since they are not religious and don't believe in Islam or anything else. We don't butt heads as much as we used to but there are various things they want to press me about. Now they're bugging me to cut his hair again because they think it's too long I think you just have to realize that like anything else, family members are going to complain about your parenting choices and you just have to establish that you are going to do what you think is best, it's not a debate. They'll have plenty of other things they'll object to over the years as well.
__________________






Last edited by shilo; November 15th, 2010 at 02:07 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
November 16th, 2010, 04:11 PM
~FaRRaH~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 7,782
Send a message via MSN to ~FaRRaH~
wjere's the "LIKE" button!
__________________
Thank you Heather(hettyhoo) for my beautiful siggy





Islam Jr. 09-20-2003 * Sumaiya-Alee 09-07-2007 * Angel Baby 01-08-2010
Reply With Quote
  #14  
July 12th, 2011, 07:54 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,255
Wow, this board is dead and I haven't been on since before I left for Pakistan! BUT just incase you all check back in...

I let dh buzz Omair's hair off the day before we left for Pakistan at the end of Dec. Poor Omair was terrified, shaking, crying, it was awful. I was crying because of it, too. When it was all over I angrily asked dh if all that was "worth it." He looked down at the floor in understanding me at that point. I don't think he'll be asking for it again with the next one.

Unfortunately, it made his family quite happy to see Omair's hair had been shaved off. His hair is growing back just fine, but absolutely no thicker and in fact, lighter than it was before it was taken off. Now MIL keeps saying to shave it again so that it grows in thicker and darker. Absolutely not happening. God made my baby's hair as He wanted it, and it's perfect that way.

Thanks for all of your help and advice with this! And I'm so sad to see the board has died
__________________

Thank you GraysMama for my siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #15  
July 17th, 2011, 02:10 PM
BigGrin's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,684
Salaam!

My MIL and assorted in-laws are obsessed with shaving DD's head. The irony is we already shaved her head at 8 days for the akikah and it grew in lighter and thinner. I recently sent pics and the only response was, "Shave her head again." Nope. It didn't work the first time and it's not going to work now. So we shall leave her head be and eventually it will grow in thick and full, insh'Allah.
__________________







I dropped a tear in the ocean, and whenever they find it I’ll stop loving you, only then. ~Unknown
Reply With Quote
  #16  
July 18th, 2011, 11:44 AM
shilo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Somewhere Green
Posts: 2,171
I don't think there's any point in shaving again or shaving it past the aqiqa, that is the only part that is a sunnah. The reason that it looks different later and thin or lighter or different in texture is because that is what the regular baby hair is like. In most babies, the hair that they had in utero falls out not long after birth, and the hair that replaces (and continues to grow through childhood) is often not of the same appearance. Some people say that the hair the baby is born with is more like what their hair will look like as an adult, this may be so or may just be coincidence (in many families I've known that don't have true black hair, including my own, the childhood hair is much lighter and continues to darken into adulthood as the color changes). If your baby was born early (not necessarily prematurely), you may also have noticed lanugo or very fine fuzzy body hair at birth that also falls out fairly quickly after birth (my son had this too).
Here's an article about hair loss/changes in newborns: Newborn Hair Care -- Ask Heidi: Baby Questions -- WhatToExpect.com

So, the hair that is growing in after shaving does not look a different color, etc *because* of the shaving, the original hair would have fallen out anyway and the different lighter hair still grown in. You did not cause either the slow regrowth or the change in the appearance of the hair by shaving! Without shaving it though, the original hair often falls out in a patchy appearance and the new hair doesn't grow in all at the same length, hence the "thicker" appearance if you shave (doesn't mean it will be "thick," it's still baby hair... just means it will be thicker than if you had the patchiness falling out as a lot of babies do. Same how your hair feels "thicker" right after a haircut because the ends are all the same length.

I've seen some babies that had so much hair at birth and grew so much afterwards that the falling out of the original hair was not as noticeable, but most babies that are born with hair and don't get shaved seem to develop a patchy or semi-bald appearance as they lose the original baby hair and the new hasn't grown yet. By the same token though, there's not much point in shaving it months later after the original baby hair has already fallen out, I think the newborn hair loss is generally a one-time thing.
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #17  
July 19th, 2011, 09:29 AM
BigGrin's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,684
Yeah I tried explaining that to the in-laws a while back but they just smiled at me sarcastically like I was an idiot. Nevermind that my DH and I have 6 degrees combined, all in the sciences.
__________________







I dropped a tear in the ocean, and whenever they find it I’ll stop loving you, only then. ~Unknown
Reply With Quote
  #18  
July 30th, 2011, 07:23 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,255
Yeah, I've tried to explain the science behind all of it as well but also got the "you're an idiot" look. Now when MIL tells me to shave it again I just smile at her pleasantly but keep my mouth shut. I think I've rolled my eyes in my mind thousands of times by this point, lol!!!!

And BigGrin your daughter is beautiful, MashAllah!!!
__________________

Thank you GraysMama for my siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #19  
August 26th, 2011, 01:59 PM
BigGrin's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,684
mshah,
I just read your compliment, thank you so much.
__________________







I dropped a tear in the ocean, and whenever they find it I’ll stop loving you, only then. ~Unknown
Reply With Quote
  #20  
September 14th, 2011, 11:53 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 4
Salam alaikum,
In Islam we shouldn't do things based on our opinion or personal preferance when it is something that has been prescribed by Allah or His Messenger, peace be upon Him. It is sunnah to shave the boy's head on the 7th day, and give the weight of his hair in silver. Allah knows best what is good for us and our families, and it may be that there is benefit in shaving the head that we do not know about.

It was reported that Samurah ibn Jundub (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A boy is ransomed by his ‘aqeeqah. Sacrifice should be made for him on the seventh day, he should be given a name and his head should be shaved.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1522; al-Nasaa’i, 4220 and Abu Dawood, 2838. The hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him, in al-Irwaa’ 4/385).

This is a matter in which there is really no doubt, it is clear and well known. It wouldn't suffice to simply pay the zakat without cutting the hair, becuase there is no record of doing that in the time of the Prophet peace be upon him, therefore it would be an innovation to do so.


Also good to note that it's only required to shave the baby's head once. Not like some cultural ideas
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:41 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0