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Ugh, my MIL strikes again :(


Forum: May 2013 Playroom

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  • 3 Post By rheaimedved
  • 2 Post By ashj_1218
  • 2 Post By bluesparkles
  • 1 Post By rheaimedved

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  #1  
January 31st, 2013, 12:18 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,075
I am rather peeved off...she just makes EVERYTHING harder for me.

She lives about 20 hours away, thank goodness. We don't get along at all. She is very negative, selfish, and emotionally controlling. I really hate spending time anywhere near her. She just drags everyone down, constantly harping on this, that, or the other. When she is here she barely pays attention to the boys. I have to spend time not only "hosting" them but trying to stay out of her heated "arguments" with her sisters (who are local and I do get along with), her mother, her husband (they are always fighting in front of people and picking at each other), etc, etc.

They will be in town from May 2nd-May 23rd

JUST what I need is to have to deal with them my last weeks of pregnancy and as soon as my daughter is born. Grrrrrrrrr. Sometimes I just want to scream.
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  #2  
January 31st, 2013, 12:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,198
Omg!
That's way to much time!
I'm sorry... Is there a way u can board up your house? Lol

I don't have a MIL but I do have an over bearing auntie who is exactly that way but lives 5 mins away.
The key to avoiding her, I ignore all calls, texts, and if she visits I put on a busy mode and eventually she gets tired of being ignored.
But if she gets after me for being rude I tell her exactly how I feel and if she doesn't like it then SHE knows she needs to change.
I hope you can figure something out.
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  #3  
January 31st, 2013, 12:53 PM
selenamdz's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 460
WOW, way too long, don't you get a say in any of this?!
I love my mother in law and that would be too long for me!
Honestly my in laws don't come until we tell them too, and I always wait until baby is at least 1-2 months old or older. I dont like too many people around with a new baby.
I tell my husband and he makes sure no one comes until we are ready and I will tell them a couple weeks is good, I wouldn't want anyone staying that long. And I would NEVER want someone coming before the baby comes as well. I need that time with my hubby and kids, I need to relax before another baby comes.
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  #4  
January 31st, 2013, 01:03 PM
mrsjl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
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ohhhhhh that sucks so much. if they come over too much you can always lock yourself and the baby in your room for some alone time.
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  #5  
January 31st, 2013, 02:11 PM
Sapphera's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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UGH, that royally sucks. Hopefully your SO can help difuse some of the situations and I hope they are not planning on staying with you???
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  #6  
January 31st, 2013, 02:15 PM
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If I were you, I would do everything in my power to get her to come AFTER you give birth. Use whatever you got to make that happen. A lot of people have mixed feelings about even having their own parents around, so you aren't really out of line to put your foot down on this. It might be uncomfortable if you have to confront her directly, but it IS your house (and your body going through all this)...
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  #7  
January 31st, 2013, 08:29 PM
MrsNHigh's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Good gracious! Is she staying with you for that long? I'd move into a hotel! Good luck.
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  #8  
January 31st, 2013, 10:37 PM
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oh heck no! can you move before then?? good luck hun!
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  #9  
February 1st, 2013, 04:04 AM
Purrrrrrr's Avatar Semi-crunchy Mommy
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I've already had a huge fight about this with my DH. I can't do the hospitality thing when I have a newborn. That did not go well last time. I told DH if they wanna come, fine, but they're not coming prior to me delivering and if his mom says anything like she did last time ("You look nice... considering the last time I saw you" which was after 21+ hours of labor), then they're gone.
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  #10  
February 1st, 2013, 06:34 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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Thank goodness they aren't staying here. We don't have room in our house, which is a blessing (well, we do, our guest room in downstairs...but she "can't" do stairs because her knees bother her ). But it is still pretty bad because they have a mobile camper thing (like one of those huge "house on wheels") that they bring up and park at a campground. They sleep there, but generally spend most days with us or one of her other relatives around here (if she isn't fighting with them, which is basically all the time).

I just don't know how I can tell them not to come. She didn't ask if it was okay, just emailed to tell us her plans. They have NEVER stayed this long before and I truly don't know if I can handle it.

Maybe if I pick a fight she won't come and see us either??? Fat chance. She has been waiting for a daughter/granddaughter since forever and certainly won't be staying away. I just hope she realizes really quickly that it doesn't matter that its a girl and starts ignoring her as well. Sounds terrible, but would be soooo much better for us. DH doesn't like her either, so its not like we aren't on the same page.

Her latest email said "I am so glad we will be there for one of your births." I am trying not to read too much into that. I won't be telling her when we are in labor or delivering, so that part I am not too worried about. But gosh if she thinks she is coming over when we get home from the hospital or "spending time" with her granddaughter while I am trying to nurse, bond, get a sense of normalcy in my house...she has another thing coming.

The only blessing is that DH will be off work for about two weeks after baby gets here, so he can run interference. And I know my mom's presence will scare her off some, which I plan to fully use to my advantage.

Sigh...WHY must she put a damper on this incredibly exciting event??
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  #11  
February 1st, 2013, 11:26 AM
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If it were me, i'd put her to good use. Ask her to do the laundry, clean the dishes after meals, heck, I'd even give her a shopping list and say, "see you later. "

She'll either be really helpful for a while, or she'll get fed up and leave you alone
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  #12  
February 1st, 2013, 11:58 AM
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I'm just relieved to hear she won't actually be staying with you.
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  #13  
February 1st, 2013, 12:06 PM
Purrrrrrr's Avatar Semi-crunchy Mommy
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Me too! I thought she was coming for whole month and staying with you! I'd be livid. Yeah, my inlaws weren't allowed in the delivery room either after I got the medicine to start inducing me. Only my mom and my husband. Then they came after I got home and that was beyond anything I was prepared to handle, especially my MIL who held DS twice (then put him down without telling anyone, so I come walking out from the kitchen and there's no baby in her arms) the whole time she was here and sat on her butt and played with her iPhone. Not happening this time. If they wanna come stay, they're cleaning my house, period.
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