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Moms with 3+ same gender....


Forum: May 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By usnwifey9
  • 5 Post By Memi
  • 1 Post By 4 boys
  • 1 Post By Erin80

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  #1  
March 14th, 2013, 08:28 AM
Sweet_Mama's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am just curious, do u ever feel or think u might keep having babies til u get your desired gender? And if so will u try again to give that sibling another same gender?

Although I love my little guy and can't wait for him to be here, I can't stop thinking if we should try one more time, stop, or keep going til we have a girl. I would definitely stop once I had a girl cuz I don't think I could handle 2 lol
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  #2  
March 14th, 2013, 09:01 AM
usnwifey9's Avatar Veteran
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While I don't have three (or even two!) of any gender, I know that I toyed with the idea of having a third child if this baby turned out to be another boy since I really want a girl even though our ideal preference is to only have two kids. However, I know two people who kept trying for a certain gender and wound up with SIX kids of the SAME gender! (One had 6 boys and the other 6 girls!) I say if you can handle that many kids then more power to you, but I know for me personally I would be way too overwhelmed. As much of a blessing children are no matter what their gender, I'm sure there would also be a huge sense of disappointment and heartbreak in knowing I not only had way more children than I could handle but also still didn't have the "dream gender" child I wanted =/.
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  #3  
March 14th, 2013, 10:01 AM
Memi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dont have three of the same gender either but am expecting our second boy. I personally wouldnt ever have another child only to try to get the opposite gender bc I just dont think its the right motives and if it ended up being the same gender again I think itd be awful to feel dissapointment over a beautiful blessing. So basically I personally wouldnt ever have a third trying to get a girl, I would only try for a third baby if I was wanting a third baby...of any gender. Just my thoughts!
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  #4  
March 14th, 2013, 10:38 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have thought about trying for a girl. I just have two now of the same gender, but I really did want a girl this time. I do agree with Memi, that if we tried again and got yet another boy, then it would be a terrible disappointment.
Plus we have medical stuff to consider and we're not sure we should even have more kids. But I know I'm going to pine for that girl for awhile until I decide to shut the door on it.
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  #5  
March 14th, 2013, 10:52 AM
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I have 3 daughters. We tried to have another baby when we were ready to have another baby, not necessarily wanting one gender over another. I happened to get a boy this time (my fourth) but I would have been happy either way. I think if you get to a point where you think you could add another child to your family and would be happy either way (even if you'd be more happy one way), then you should go for it. If you think you'd be upset with another boy if it happened that way, I wouldn't do it.
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  #6  
March 14th, 2013, 11:06 AM
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Honestly, if this baby had been another boy...I know FOR SURE we would go on to have a fourth. Four has always been on our radar and I know I would have wanted that "chance" to have a girl. We probably still will have a fourth. But, I do feel I am more "okay" with stopping at three if the situation presents itself (we realize we feel done). We always said three or four when we got married and I have stuck by that I want four and he is more okay with stopping at three. If we were having another boy, there would not really be a discussion about stopping. I know I would have wanted to see if we would have a girl (and he would have been fine with it, and still is even with having a girl).

BUT, four is and always was our limit. I would not have a fifth if my fourth was a fourth boy. So, in that sense, if you only planned for three and feel you would be strapped financially, emotionally, or otherwise...I wouldn't have another child to try for a certain gender.

That said, I do think it's hard for people who envision their family and see it with a girl/boy that just doesn't happen. It's something that is entirely out of our control, which is hard for a lot of people to get a handle on. I think it's pretty natural to want to experience both sexes. And statistically, more people get mixed gender families than not. So it makes sense why people desire it.

But I agree that trying on the sole basis of wanting a girl (or boy, for some people) is not a good way to go into having a baby. I can see that really being hard and isolating if the baby is not the "desired gender." I kinda feel like it puts too much "pressure" on the child and might cause a very difficult pregnancy (although most would forget any sense of disappointment when baby came along).

And no, we will not specifically try to have a second girl. I am fine with having just one of a sex (like if I had two girls and was having a boy, I would be fine with that too). Obviously if we have a fourth we have a chance of having a second girl. But I actually feel like we will have a boy (who knows why) and that is cool too. I really think I would be fine with four of a kind as well. It just wasnt how things played out for me.

I do hope that your "answer" is obvious in time. I imagine it's a hard one to make.
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  #7  
March 14th, 2013, 11:19 AM
Sweet_Mama's Avatar Super Mommy
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I agree. I told DH I am fine with stopping at 3 but he wants 4 children even if this one wad a girl. I am not sure if I want 4 kids or not? We are gonna see how it goes with 3 boys n if I want another baby (not just a girl) than we will have one more.
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  #8  
March 14th, 2013, 11:52 AM
selenamdz's Avatar Veteran
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Honestly I really wanted my second child to be a girl, when he came out another boy, I got over it fast but I still had that desire for a baby girl. When my third was once again a baby boy, I wasn't as upset, thought it would be cool to have all these boys playing together... still wanted to keep going and hopefully get a girl.
Now that my 4th is going to be another boy, I am actually surprisingly happy and content!
Not sure if I can handle more than 4 kids, nor am I sure if I want more than 4 kids.
I am excited because we wanted an even number of children, and 6 seems like a bit much for me!
so 4 really seems like a great number. Part of me wanted the 4th to be another boy, 4 boys, they can be buddies and no need to feel like I have to have more. I had three sisters growing up, so if 4th was a girl I would have probably had another in hopes that she would have a sister.
I am glad I can stop now, all the same sex and even number. They should have a fun childhood, especially because oldest is only 5!
I am excited to feel done, I will one day after daughter in laws and maybe granddaughters, I will get over it. I actually am pretty much over it already. I love camping and we love the outdoors, I am really looking forward to all the fun boy stuff as my kids grow.
SOOOO happy I don't have to deal with teenage girl though and all that drama

ALSO- we didnt have 4 kids because we kept trying for a girl. 4 was the number we always said we would have, God decided to bless us with a family of boys, and I am grateful.
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  #9  
March 14th, 2013, 01:58 PM
pressedfairie's Avatar Super Mommy
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I guess we got lucky; we only want two kids, and we'll end up with one of each gender. If this baby had been a boy, we still would have stopped, and honestly, I would have been fine with either gender. I could totally see my son having a younger brother who was close in age. But I'd always dreamed of having a daughter to do girl stuff with, and I'm looking forward to seeing how different raising a girl will be.
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  #10  
March 14th, 2013, 02:43 PM
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I really wanted a boy this time, tried swaying and all that fun stuff - however we decided to TTC because we wanted another BABY, we weren't trying for just a boy. Now that I'm on my 4th little girl in a row part of me just feels done - I love the pregnancy (not so much now, lol), laboring and birthing that comes along with babies and will be sad that I don't get to go through that again, but for some reason I feel as though Tilly is completing our family and no part of me wants another child after her. If I didn't have so many health issues, surrogacy would be a perfect solution for me
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  #11  
March 14th, 2013, 03:05 PM
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We have 5 boys and this will make 5 girls for us.....so we are as even as can be .

That said, we don't plan on how many to have, just let the Lord decide and he has always provided when needed....bigger house, vehicle, etc. So for us, I honestly haven't thought of it.
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  #12  
March 14th, 2013, 04:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Memi View Post
So basically I personally wouldnt ever have a third trying to get a girl, I would only try for a third baby if I was wanting a third baby...of any gender. Just my thoughts!
I completely agree with this. And it drives me up a wall when people make comments to me about gender, since we have four boys.

I think about it this way: I LOVE my boys to bits, so why wouldn't I want more of them?? DH and I have been hoping for another boy during every pregnancy since #2 came along. If we had all girls, we'd probably feel the same way about them. When people say things to me like, "Oh I hope you get a girl this time!" all I can think in response is, "Why, because you think boys suck?" Really, it always feels like they are implying that boys aren't any good, or aren't good enough, or girls are better.

I know that really probably isn't what they mean, but that's how it comes across. Why can't I just be thankful for what I have and enjoy them?

So to answer the question, no. We decided to have four kids, regardless of what gender they were. We were done after four boys. This baby is a bonus and we will be overjoyed to have a fifth boy.
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  #13  
March 14th, 2013, 04:23 PM
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Erin, Congrats on boy #5! We have 5 boys as well and it is awesome, stinky, smelly fun!!!!

That said, we enjoy our 4 girls and they are just as awesome. Kids are all amazing and I am glad you are enjoying your boys!
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  #14  
March 14th, 2013, 04:31 PM
Ryan and Alex's Mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I personally always wanted a girl. After 2 boys I was really worried i'd have another boy (not that it really matters because we love our boys no matter what)...and wondered if we'd even try again for a girl. Luckily it worked in our favor and we are still not sure if we will have more, we will have to see how things go... but for now we got want we wanted and are thrilled!

A friend of mine has 6 boys, 1 is a teenager and the others are all under 6....she's pregnant again with a GIRL!!! I'm so happy for her. She herself said she wasn't going to stop until she had a girl....only time will tell lol!
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  #15  
March 14th, 2013, 06:22 PM
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Well our third is another girl, and we're done. We wanted 3 kids, no matter what. There is NO way I'm going for a fourth, and neither is DH. I don't mind that we didn't have a boy, maybe we'll have grandsons one day!
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  #16  
March 14th, 2013, 09:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Counting our Blessings View Post
Erin, Congrats on boy #5! We have 5 boys as well and it is awesome, stinky, smelly fun!!!!
Actually, we don't know if it's a boy yet; but if it is we'll be thrilled.
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