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So, yesterday I spent the ENTIRE day going through my kid's rooms because when baby is here we have to switch my older son into my younger son's room and the 2 youngest will share his bigger room. This is a huge task. Im still not done. Im also cleaning out! Going through toy boxes and clothes for donation. Cleaning out drawers ect. Anyway, it suddenly dawned on me that in about 6 weeks my family dynamics will be changing and this new little person will be in our lives. I cried. I just felt bad for my 12 and 7 year olds. Then I felt bad for the baby who will grow up really not having anything in common with his brothers because they are so far apart in age. I really wish I hadn't spread them so far apart in age. I felt bad for taking my older son out of his room of 11 years. I just fear that they will all grow up resenting each other. Im also nervous about how my "baby" 7 year old will react with the new baby. He is truly a mama's boy. Scared about what it will be like being a family of 5! I know what Im feeling is normal now that its getting so close....Im just a little of everything and how its all going to work out.
Why don't you talk to your 7 and 12 year olds and see how they feel? Ask the older one how he feels about giving up his room. Make sure they know your love for them will never change. I'm nervous about changing the dynamic with having just 1 kid, so I can imagine with 4 others it would be pretty scary!
I know what you mean. DSD is the only child in both her mom's house and ours at the moment. As much as she wants a baby sister, she's already showing subtle signs of attention seeking with us and I worry what it's going to be like when baby is actually here. She's 8 and as much as she wants her sister, it was her idea to have a baby to begin with, she still doesn't grasp just how time consuming and different it'll be. We bought her a new dress a couple weeks ago for a date with daddy. They are going to go just the two of them for a date night so they can talk and spend some time together. Planning on doing that just him and her every couple months or so so hopefully that helps. Also my mom offered to watch baby so just the 3 of us can do stuff occassionally as well. Hopefully it all works. I would say just try to get as much 1:1 time with each as you can before baby and let them talk about their feelings. Hope it's a smooth transition for everyone.
I'm sure we all feel somewhat nervous now.
It's a huge change coming. I have no kids but I have a younger sister. We are 12 years apart. People actually thought I was her mom a few times. Anyways I grew up treating her more then my sister. I became a role model early for her and the huge age difference didn't bother me at all. I felt it made me want to be closer to her since I knew someday soon I would be the "big" sister she would turn to if my parents weren't understanding.
So now since I'm 22 and she's in 5th grade, my parents turn to me to help with certain things, attending school meetings, taking her to school, taking her out if she needs anything or I simply love spoiling her.
My mom did a good job introducing me to the idea of a baby when she was pregnant with my sister. That really helped ease the change.
So having kids so far apart isn't a bad thing. Trust me. Eventually they will depend on each other and you will love seeing it all
Ok so I have to tell you this little thing. My parents has issues conceiving before help was avalible. This led to out family dynamic, my brother is 17 years older then my closet ages brother and I (we are 4 years apart). I must say that the relationship with my oldest brother is awesome. Our families vacation together, we double date we talk all the time and we truly like each other. I'm lucky to have a close family and I never forget it. There is a chance your eldest will step up in years as my brother has and take a true leadership role with the younger siblings. I guess my thought is that brother and sister have a connection, they have the shared experiences of growing up under the same roof. Nobody has that but them, im sure that they will find their way.
Lucky for you, kids are highly adaptable I think this change will be less drastic than the difference of going from zero to one child (this is big for the parents, obviously), or an only child to having a sibling for the first time. I have a friend with a 9 month old baby and three older sons, who are 11, 13, and 19. The 19 year old is out of the house and lives in another city, but the other two boys absolutely fawn over their little sister. It's pretty adorable.
So don't stress too much about these things. You can't change the way things worked out and you'll figure out ways to deal with issues as they come up.
I just wanted to add that I only have one sibling, a sister, who is 17 years older than I am. We're still close, despite the huge age gap. I think it's probably normal at this point to worry about anything and everything. It's just natural for us to want the best for our babies!
It's terrifying. Lol. I am worried about similar things. My boys are still really little, but i still worry about the changes we are making (rooms are being shared here too) and the fact that my baby is still such a baby and I am "forcing" him to grow up quicker. I keep thinking "holy cow, what was I thinking!?"
I know it will all work out, for both of us. I am 6.5 years older than my brother and I adored him as a kid and even more now. We are rather close. Your boys will be fine. And they may even surprise you But I do understand the fears and uncertainty you feel. I feel it too.
You are definitely not alone. I am worried about how my dog will react and feel, so I can only imagine what you're going through. It will be a change at first but everyone will settle into your new family dynamic sooner than later.