We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I truly never thought I would get married. I don't like being around someone that much Still don't!
I figured that I would do the career thing for my 20's. I thought I wanted to be a NICU nurse. Then life came in the way. I got severely ill with anorexia, spent 6 years in and out of hospitals. I realized i would be the worst nurse ever! Lol.
I changed my idea of my professional life and got my degree in drug counseling. But, not before getting knocked up (despite being told I wouldn't likely have children due to "damage" to my ovaries) by an on-and-off boyfriend (we knew each other for two years before I got preggo). He proposed (with proof he had plans to without the pregnancy aspect) and I said yes.
I did always know I would have children. I kinda assumed I would do the high tech thing...dunno why. I just never saw myself as the "stay-at-home" wife or mom type. But I truthfully love it! I figured if I were single, I would have 1-2 kids. Since it would be a lot with working and such. But I am all about more now that I know how enjoyable they are and that I have so much support.
All-in-all, I got the life a lot of people imagine...I just wasn't planning it! Hahaha.
Truthfully, the first year SUCKED! Lol. I really had to adapt to being "beholden" to other people (hence why motherhood was a shocker for me) and that I couldn't just lock myself in my own house and be alone when I wanted to. I had to find some different ways of creating space for myself and became good at asking for space when I needed it. And DH actually learned really quickly how to give me the space I needed and how to recognize when I was feeling squashed. I think, in tons of ways, he is the ONLY person I could have married and made it work. He is also very independent, non-needy, and strong-willed. We have intellectual fights, but not often fights about relationship issues because we are very open with our various needs. And he had some desire for his own space as well, so it helps that he kinda "gets it" on some levels.
Of course, I still have my moments of "oh gosh, would all these people leave me alone!" But obviously I have changed how much personal space I need (kids have a fantastic way of changing that for you ) and how to get more bang-for-my-buck out of what personal time I do carve out.
Oh...and therapy. Every week. Not to be missed. Hahaha.
Good for you! I'm glad you've both figured out how to make it work for you. I know I am definitely one who prefers a good chunk of alone time, being around people too much drives me crazy. Course like you said, kids do have a way of helping you change your "needs". Haha. And hooray for therapy! I'm not doing any right now but I bet I ought to be, lol. It has helped me through a lot of rough patches in life.
I never wanted to be married or have kids of my own. I've always wanted to adopt though (not really sure how that fit into my life-plan, hahaha). I wanted to teach English abroad and be a travel writer. I was on my way to do that when I met DH. We almost did the JET Programme together, but when we researched it, we found out the pay hasn't increased since the 90s and we didn't have a good possibility of being placed together. We contacted another agency but found out they were actually a missionary group. I was really disappointed since they misrepresented themselves and we're not religious... and they were going to places where people could get arrested for missionary work.
A year or so after we got married, I decided I did want to have biological kids of our own because he's got some good genes that don't need to go to waste! That was an excellent decision, but we both despise our jobs now and we're still looking at teaching abroad.