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MIL coming in 4 weeks


Forum: May 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By Purrrrrrr
  • 1 Post By EverydayJoy
  • 1 Post By Elly M.
  • 1 Post By EverydayJoy
  • 1 Post By jcperez
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  #1  
April 3rd, 2013, 09:29 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
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I'm not too sure how I feel about that, but since DH is still doing over the road trucking, he wants to have someone with me 24/7 in case he is gone at the critical moment. MIL lives 8 hours' drive from here, so she is coming to stay with us about 5 days before my due date and will stay as long as needed after Kody is born.
DH will be taking only close-to-home loads after this one, so that's nice. Like within 8-10 hours away. Still, I think we will both feel better with someone here with me. However...I like my personal space so it's hard to be grateful in some ways! At least his mom is a quiet person and not prone to giving out a bunch of unwanted advice. I'm sure it will go well...she has stayed with us before and I freaked out about it too prior, but it worked out that I was happy with the experience after the fact. Ugh too many things to stress about prior to the big day!
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  #2  
April 3rd, 2013, 09:38 AM
jcperez's Avatar 1 Busy Momma
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Im sure it will work out fine, especially since she is quiet...lol. Not like my MIL! Love her dearly but she has way too much too say about everything. Hopefully, she will be a nice help to you. Will she be in the delivery room as well?
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  #3  
April 3rd, 2013, 09:38 AM
Purrrrrrr's Avatar Semi-crunchy Mommy
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I hope it goes smoothly. My inlaws are coming up this weekend... I'm not enthused.
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  #4  
April 3rd, 2013, 09:53 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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Ugh, mine too. Don't remind me. Wanna switch MILs?? Mine is a psycho biotech (yeah, pretend that is a different word) who makes me want to jump out the window with nearly every word she says. She will be here for three weeks. Kill me now.

Oh, sorry, return to regular programming...it's so nice that she is coming to be around in case something happens. And maybe she can help out with Ethan as you are getting bigger and more uncomfortable. At least play with him some and help around the house? She sounds pretty sweet, but I do understand needing personal space! Lol. Maybe let her know that on XX days you usually go to do XX and she can make herself comfy while you are gone (sort of a nice way of saying "I prefer to be alone for this part of the day.") But I hope it's another good surprise and you enjoy her visit. I am sure she likes being able to help out and seeing your newbie when he is so young. Good luck!
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  #5  
April 3rd, 2013, 10:33 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Jessica---no way she will be in the delivery room. Hah, I don't even want my own mother, who I love dearly, to be in there! Just my husband and doula, and the medical staff.

Purrr--how long are they staying?

Ashlee---Oh I feel for you! Is there a way you can limit their stay to a bit shorter? Say um, 3 days instead of 3 weeks? Argh I would go nuts. No, I would do one better---I would just jump out the window before she got there.

I'm hoping it's ok. The littlest things bug me, like last time she was here she used some of Ethan's special castile soap I bought that is only for him, because it's $10 a bottle, when I left out some (cheaper) shampoo and soap for her. She's a health nut FREAK so I will have to tell her this time not to use his soap. I like all-natural stuff, but we can't afford to have it for the whole household, so I reserve it for the littlest ones who are more sensitive to chemicals. For myself and DH I buy the cheap stuff. I know that is nothing to worry about compared to what some of you ladies have to go through! I just ugh...don't like people in my space haha.
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  #6  
April 3rd, 2013, 10:49 AM
Elly M.'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Joy, I totally understand where you are coming from. My MIL is a wonderful woman who only wants to help everyone, but I need my space also. She lives 1 mile from me and I just get irritated when she or someone else from DH's family is always just stopping by whenever. I know once the baby is here I will be upsetting a lot of people when I ask for my privacy. I don't like anyone doing any kind of work or cleaning at my house, and she always wants to come do my laundry or something. I know that is nice, but I have asked over and over for everyone to not touch my stuff.

I know this sounds harsh, but I hope her visit goes fast for you and that it is as easy going as possible. I think there is always pressure on us from our MIL no matter how woderful they are.
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  #7  
April 3rd, 2013, 10:55 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Very true, Elly! I hope you can set some good parameters when you deliver so that people will give you your space too.
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  #8  
April 3rd, 2013, 12:07 PM
jcperez's Avatar 1 Busy Momma
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I do know what you mean Joy. I dont like people in my personal space either no matter how kind they are. When I have people here who "want" to help, I end up entertaining them and feeling like I have to cook and clean so they dont think Im a slob. I end up cleaning up after them...lol.I really dont have anyone in my life that would truly help me and let me be without me feeling like I have to entertain them...besides my husband.
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  #9  
April 3rd, 2013, 02:53 PM
Rhonda66's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ha, I get it Joy, I could have written your post! My MIL is going to be here in about 4 weeks too, at the beginning of May in case DD arrives early. I don't have any issues with her, but she is coming across the country from Arizona to stay with us for at least a month, she doesn't have a return ticket back as of now. DH and I definitely prefer privacy and protect our space so I'm not sure what to expect. I believe she is just planning on helping with DS, watching him when we're at the hospital, bringing him to and picking him up from the bus, those kinds of things. I'm keeping positive and believe it will go well for everyone, but I do just worry about the space thing. Hopefully it all goes well, she's always been good to me so I think it will be fine. She sure as heck can cook better than I can anyway lol! So positive thoughts for both of us and all in a similar situation!
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  #10  
April 3rd, 2013, 03:20 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Rhonda, ahh we are in the same boat then! Yeah my MIL doesn't work, she lives with her brother, so she is going to just catch a ride here with DH next time he has a load that takes him through her city. So that means she will be depending on him to get her back home...although I guess she could come up with money for a return ticket somehow. It's just kinda nerve-wracking when it's open-ended like that!
I agree, positive thoughts for all of us ladies who are going to be dealing with friends/family in our space!
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  #11  
April 3rd, 2013, 04:08 PM
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Aw I know exactly how you feel, but honestly just take advantage if it. You'll need help after you give birth especially with the older one. I honestly wish I had someone with me to help with DD at least till I figure out how to handle two under two on my own (well, maybe not my MIL though haha).
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  #12  
April 3rd, 2013, 06:45 PM
Ashley Schroeder's Avatar #1 Due in May
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It will be nice to have someone around to help, but I totally understand where you're coming from. I really like my personal space too. And my MIL would be giving all sorts of advice & telling me the same stories over and over and over again. My mom will be here with me for a few weeks, which I'm looking forward to. My MIL is free to come over, but not stay long. (I'm terrible!)
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  #13  
April 3rd, 2013, 07:03 PM
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I'm glad you have such a great MIL!!! Enjoy the help and pray though the "space issues". I understand though. But let her take your DS to the park and you can nest or rest!
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  #14  
April 3rd, 2013, 07:04 PM
markswife's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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this makes me so happy that my mom lives in the same town so she can stop over for a couple hours and then go away. I didn't mind company for short periods of time but I was really tired and company for several weeks would drive me nuts no matter how much I liked the person. My sympathies to those of you getting some long term company in your homes.
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  #15  
April 3rd, 2013, 07:07 PM
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She sounds like a nice person I'm sure it will go smoothly there is no way SO's mother is staying she would drive me nuts and I can't really stand her much anyway my mum will be here to help a lot and that's the only person I want besides my other half x
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