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Is there still time to mentally prepare for a natural birth?


Forum: May 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
April 20th, 2013, 04:41 PM
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Hey all,

I'm just BARELY considering the option of going drug free with this child birth. While DD came out completely healthy with me having an epidural and pitocin, I'm not sure i want to chance that again. I don't know completely how these drugs affect the development of our children, but if I can avoid taking a risk I just may. I think my recent course in school about how so much is still unknown about autism, for example, is helping this decision too. I know they don't know the cause for autism but what if they come to find out it truly was linked to something I chose during child birth.

For DD's birth, I pushed her out in about 25-30 minutes, frank breech and had to have an episiotomy. I'm hoping this kid won't take much time and not need an episiotomy if he comes out right.

Anyway, how can I prepare myself mentally, so late in the game to just do this without drugs. I don't even know where to start. All I know is I want to mentally control the pain and I'd rather not make crazy loud noises.
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  #2  
April 20th, 2013, 04:51 PM
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I'm in the same boat as you are. Had both pitocin and epi with my DD.

Start by educating yourself about natural birth, breathing techniques, managing the pain of contractions etc. My midwife recommended reading "positive" natural birth stories-- online and offline, for instance.

Also, I do remind myself all the time that women have been doing it for centuries. If they can do it, I should be able to do it too.

My midwife, at my last appt, told me that laboring in the bathtub or in the shower has the same effect as an epi... So I am going to trust her too.

If you have someone to support you during labor, that would be great too. This is my only problem-- I'll be going to deliver the baby alone. But my midwife told me she'll be with me all the time..

We can do it!
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  #3  
April 20th, 2013, 05:04 PM
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I absolutely do not think it's too late to prepare for a natural birth. You might look around for Lamaze/natural childbirth classes just in case there happen to be any before that baby comes. And you might need to accept that crazy loud noises are a part of it My mom said it was the main thing that helped... and that she didn't even care. Also, sitting in the shower. It's highly recommended to labor at home as long as you can-- that way you reduce the amount of time it's even possible to have an epidural. The key is to be resolute in your decision-- if you have the attitude that you'd like to try a natural birth but you're open to an epidural, you're more likely to get one.


That said, I took a Lamaze class and didn't find it all that helpful... although I've never considered the possibility of NOT doing a natural birth (unless it became medically necessary). There are countless resources on the internet to help you prepare for it, so I'd get reading . Tell your doctor at your next appointment so everyone is on the same page.
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  #4  
April 20th, 2013, 05:42 PM
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i just told DH I don't want pitocin at all and he was a grouch about it.. "well it's going to take longer" I told him, well this time we're waiting longer to go in anyway, until contractions are the right time or my water breaks.... then he was pissy because "So your water is going to break and I'm going to have to clean it up."

It took every ounce of me not to slam some comeback in his face.... look mofo... i'm pushing a small watermelon out of my vagina and will have everyone all up in my business... the least your can do is clean up my flipping water and not britch about it. Sooooo I'm sure he'll have something rude to say if I claim not to want an epidural.

I took a lamaze class with DD and it was just regular breathing..... nothing special. Also, I will be delivering at the hospital and don't have a doula or midwive or anything. I don't know anything about that and would kinda feel weird finding someone to trust or feel comfy in there with me this late in the game....

Also the only people in the room are going to be DH and I.... my fam isn't close or supportive like that. I still get questioned about using formula vs Bfeeding when I bfed DD until she was 2.... I think my mom and grandma got brainwashed thinking formula was much better because it's so expensive and scientists made it....
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  #5  
April 20th, 2013, 05:49 PM
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Is hiring a doula an option for you? I don't think it's too late to prepare for a natural birth. I would do a lot of reading up on different techniques people have used, and just spend the rest of the time you have left mentally preparing.
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  #6  
April 20th, 2013, 06:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pressedfairie View Post
Is hiring a doula an option for you? I don't think it's too late to prepare for a natural birth. I would do a lot of reading up on different techniques people have used, and just spend the rest of the time you have left mentally preparing.
Is this something insurance would help cover?
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  #7  
April 20th, 2013, 06:13 PM
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No, I don't think insurance would cover a doula.
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  #8  
April 20th, 2013, 06:24 PM
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It's just gonna be me and my hubby in the room for the birth. No midwives or doulas or family.

Sounds like what you really need is for your husband to get on board with this idea. Having a supportive partner is really important for this to work... the last thing you need is to be dealing with his hissy-fits while you're trying to give birth to your child.

And great job sticking to your guns on the breast feeding! Your family sounds like they're stuck in some backwards times. You just can't get anything more perfect for a baby than their own mother's milk.

Hopefully others here will have some advice for talking with your husband. I'd just tell him how it's something that is really important to you and it would be great if he would support you to make it easier. Check out the natural childbirth forum if you haven't already, and post the same questions/concerns: Natural Childbirth - JustMommies Message Boards

Also, the water breaks in something like 10-20% of women, so the likelihood of that happening is not very great anyway.
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  #9  
April 20th, 2013, 06:37 PM
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Popping in from the October DDC (hope you don't mind!)--My mom just bought me two books "husband coached childbirth" and "natural childbirth--the bradley method" (something along those lines). I started reading the husband coach childbirth and so far it has lots of ideas. I haven't read the natural childbirth-- but I did flip through it and it has techniques for each stage of labor and exercises that you can practice at home. (It also has some graphic pictures) It might be worth it to buy it or see if the library has it and check it out.
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  #10  
April 20th, 2013, 06:37 PM
Shufu_in_Shunan's Avatar Padawan Kim
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I sure hope there's time because I haven't really had the time to delve too deeply into researching different natural birth methods. I've looked at some websites, but haven't taken any classes or read any books on it. The good news is that our bodies were made for this, so there are natural pain-reducing hormones released during labor. We can do this!
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  #11  
April 20th, 2013, 07:42 PM
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Never too late! I would say the best strategy is to mentally prepare a list of techniques to help you cope with the pain so you won't be tempted by the drugs. What has worked really well for me is deep slow breathing through contractions, fast walking (this one is my favourite) and water (shower, tub, whatever). Come up with a list of options you can try and try them all.

Also, this being your second, you are almost guaranteed to have a faster labor, shorter pushing and all around better everything.
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  #12  
April 20th, 2013, 07:46 PM
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I read some good books on it that I found at the library. I read the "Husband-coached childbirth" by Bradley, and although you probably won't have your DH supporting you very much (it sounds like, anyway), you can still take away some of the ideas in there.
I also liked "Homebirth in the Hospital" by Stacey Marie Kerr, it had some empowering birth stories about ladies that were doing it all-natural, and a few where things didn't go quite how they ladies wanted, but they rolled with the punches and had a healthy baby at the end.
I also found the "The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth with Confidence" to be helpful. I think it's good to just have a variety of ideas at your fingertips so you know what you can try when it comes to labor. Then when you are actually there, you just do whatever position or technique seems to help you most.

I think an important part of sticking with going natural is having people in the labor room that are going to support you in your decision and not try to tell you that you should get an epidural now, you can't do this, etc. Because once you're in the throes of labor you can be very suggestible. So if your DH is not being supportive when the time comes, I would feel free to put him out of the room so you can just focus. Talk to whoever is going to be the attending doc/OB and make sure they're on board. Write out a birth plan so the nurses know what your wishes are. If you get a nurse that's not helpful or who is a negative influence, ask for someone else. Give yourself permission to be assertive, agressive, and even rude about your needs/wants.

I didn't prepare much for birthing DS, I went to a class but didn't really practice the relaxation techniques like they said to. I didn't have a doula or any special stuff like aromatherapy or music or anything. I just sort of muddled my way through it, and I did ok. I was on pitocin but didn't have any pain meds. My DH and my midwife were both on board with no pain meds, and no one ever suggested them to me at any time. During transition I said I thought I wanted some drugs, and my midwife said "Let's try the tub". They had a birthing tub just for laboring in (it wasn't a waterbirth). I finished dilating there and then delivered in the room. I'd definitely recommend getting into whatever position feels best for pushing, and if that means throwing the Chux pad on the floor and getting on your hands and knees, then do it! I had the luxury of delivering in a birthing chair and I think it really helped the pushing not take forever. I tried on my back in bed first and it just felt ineffective.

Those are my thoughts! HTH...good luck!
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  #13  
April 21st, 2013, 08:58 AM
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Thank you guys! I am going to try and see if any of those books are online. I told DH what I do and don't want and he was more receptive this time. I don't have any support to make me through a natural birth, such as a doula, but I'll see what I can do. I'm happy that I'm at least a bit more informed and things will be different without pitocin, or whatevery they may use to thin the cervix, and without letting them break the water...

Why do they break our waters for us anyway? My friend who is a nurse, lamaze teacher, and lactation consultant told me that pitocin and water breaking are completely unnecessary and that the water is in there to cushion the baby so contractions aren't so stressful on them.

As for my mom and grandma on the breastfeeding issue, they grew up dirt poor, and at first my mom had nothing for us either.... formula being expensive and things people were buying was probably very desirable by people without money. I understand why their mindset is/was the way it is. It's hard to convince my grandma otherwise because we have a language barrier, but I think my mom gets it now, at least she keeps her comments to herself
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  #14  
April 21st, 2013, 09:13 AM
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They break your water to speed up labor. If the baby's head is sitting directly on the cervix, instead of being cushioned by the amniotic fluid, then the contractions become more "productive" (read, painful) and the labor progresses faster. My water was broken last time and it definitely got labor started (I was being induced). But I am definitely telling them this time---NO AROM! (Artificial rupture of membranes).
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  #15  
April 21st, 2013, 09:36 AM
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I had a friend deliver her baby with the water bag intact. They had to break it after she was born. So it's definitely not necessary, it's just a convenient way for them to speed things up.
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  #16  
April 21st, 2013, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EverydayJoy View Post
They break your water to speed up labor. If the baby's head is sitting directly on the cervix, instead of being cushioned by the amniotic fluid, then the contractions become more "productive" (read, painful) and the labor progresses faster. My water was broken last time and it definitely got labor started (I was being induced). But I am definitely telling them this time---NO AROM! (Artificial rupture of membranes).
Yeah they broke mine and that's exactly when the real pain started. It will break on it's own naturally when the time its right, right? I've got a lot to talk about with my doc on Tuesday. Hopefully he stays put. I watched those suggested documentaries and I don't want to go in labor on a weekend or close to the weekend!

My DH also said "Cinco de Mayo" is coming up! My response was, "Good thing our doc is panamanian!" She shouldn't care about celebrating on that day.
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  #17  
April 21st, 2013, 09:59 AM
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So I'm assuming you don't want to go into labor on the weekend because docs will be anxious to get you delivered, right? So they can get back to their golf or whatever it is they do?
I am definitely going to push for no interventions this time, I know sometimes your labor can stall out and then they'll try to get you to do pitocin. Well, your body knows if it needs a break--sometimes it will slow down or stop the labor so you can rest/eat, whatever you need to do. Then after you're fueled up again, it picks up again.
Also docs will push to induce if your water breaks but contractions haven't started. They want you to deliver within 24 hours. What they're doing is trying to prevent an infection. But there are ladies who have walked around with their water broken for even a couple of weeks. You do have to watch for signs of infection...but you don't have to have Pit if you don't want to.

Anyway I think if any nurses or docs try to get me to do something I don't feel is necessary for my health or the baby's health, then I might just get up and leave, if I'm able! Haha...or at least threaten to. I have kind of had this fantasy about delivering at home anyway
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  #18  
April 21st, 2013, 10:48 AM
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Not to late at all! I've never "prepared" and have never had an epidural or any pain meds

My hubby is super supportive of whatever I want to do, so I've always had him cheering me on. It is really an amazing experience! I am hoping to do it again.
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  #19  
April 21st, 2013, 11:13 AM
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I'm going all natural; it will be my third. you can do it !!!! good luck
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  #20  
April 21st, 2013, 12:14 PM
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Counting our blessings and Naplesmomma, are you delivering at hospitals? Do you have doulas? How do you gals get through it?
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