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How am I going to get through this?


Forum: May 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By LabLover13
  • 1 Post By ashj_1218
  • 1 Post By EverydayJoy

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  #1  
July 23rd, 2013, 02:50 AM
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Location: Canada
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It's 5:40am as I type this. Lilah was once again up for the day at 5am, so I'm sitting here pumping while DH feeds her. Last night she screamed murder from 6:30 - 9:30pm. Finally she stopped, so DH collapsed into bed beside her bassinet and fell asleep in his clothes (which is happening more and more because he's just exhausted). I sat down here and did my last pump, turned everything off, etc etc. She slept until 2:30am, which was great. I got up to pump, she had a bottle, she went back to sleep....for 1 whole hour. After that (3:30am), she was restless, waking up, whining, etc until 5am when we finally gave her a bottle.....but the bottle won't get her back to sleep, she'll be up until 6:20, at which point she'll go to sleep and finish her "night sleeping"....she sleeps for 3-4 hrs in the morning to make up for being up half the night and up so early.

DH and I get ZERO time together. Between our 3 kids, someone always needs something. The baby screaming in the evening has canceled ANY time we had together, we can't even watch tv anymore. We hardly get any time to even talk about our days. I feel like we're never going to make it through this. We are so exhausted. I got up at 5 to pump, and I was shaky, dizzy and I have a horrible headache from complete lack of sleep.
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  #2  
July 23rd, 2013, 06:02 AM
LabLover13's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Marysville, WA
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Oh Erin...my heart breaks for you and I SO get it. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Maybe it's time to drop some pumps? That won't help your situation with Lilah not sleeping, but at least you won't be getting up and interrupting what sleep you DO get to pump.

What about doing "shifts" like Rhea and her hubby? One of you takes the first half of the night, the other gets the last half. Or switch nights, one off one on. That way at least one of you is getting some sleep instead of both of you getting none.

Just remember that this WILL pass. I promise. I'm a FTM, but I have noticed a huge improvement in Claire and I know it will happen with Lilah too. Sleeping is still hit or miss with us, but I know that will get better too.

Hugs to you!!! Hang in there, but do what you have to do to be a happy, rested mom for your girls and do NOT allow yourself to feel guilty for it.
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  #3  
July 23rd, 2013, 06:29 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,063
You WILL get through it. It won't, can't last forever.

I have been there, twice. Neither of my boys slept well, or really at all. And I am still here. I pretty much hated life during their first 6 months. At points I resented them for not just sleeping. But it all passed.

I think having shift-work with hubby might be a good idea. Like you take one full night of sleep and he takes another. Naturally, you have more during his workweek and he picks up the slack on the weekends. Maybe try for some together time during her morning naps on the weekend? And I would make every effort to go to sleep IMMEDIATELY after she does in the evening. If she is sleeping from 9:30-2:30, that is a good stretch of time where you need to be sleeping as well. Five solid hours of sleep will do wonders for your feeling of exhaustion.

Let everything that isn't essential go by the wayside. It will pass and you won't barely remember it (hence me having another child even though both my kids were terrible sleepers). But it sucks while you are in it. A lot.

ETA: Have you tried wearing her in the evenings when she screams and moving around with her strapped to you? I know a friend of mine did the. She would eat and watch TV while wearing her son and swaying back and forth. And he loved it. Maybe it would help. Might not, but worth a try!
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Last edited by ashj_1218; July 23rd, 2013 at 06:32 AM.
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  #4  
July 23rd, 2013, 06:51 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,683
WE have had screamers as well. I have had pretty good luck tucking them in a carrier, different ones have worked better with each baby, and just walking. Take the other two kiddos on a walk, walk around the slide while they play
I know having others to care for with a new baby is tough. If she sleeps 3-4 hours in the morning when the other two kids are up, you have a great chunk of time there to enjoy them.

Hang in there, it doesn't last forever. My hubby runs our business during the day and has an evening job from 4-10, so I'm alone every night and most days. It is tough. Somedays I pray a lot But it's so worth it. Try and enjoy her, before you know it, she'll be off and moving!
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  #5  
July 23rd, 2013, 08:14 AM
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I will start dropping pumps at 12 weeks, I'm being super stubborn about this. I WANT to get to 6 months, but I don't know. So in the night, DH feeds and I go down and pump....so neither of us can really sleep through and we can't take shifts because I don't want to have to feed, get her down, then go down and pump.....no freaking way! Until I cut out night pumps, we can't do it.

As for the carrier, she likes the Ergo A LOT if she's tired but at night she's just ANGRY. Nothing consoles her. If I put her in the Ergo, she pushes away from me and FREAKS out. It's ridiculous. I don't even know what she wants in the evenings.

I'm in bed no later than 10pm, and I pass right out. I sleep until she wakes up, but then that's pretty much all the sleep I get. Today I have really been up since 2:30am, which seems to counter act the 5 hours I did get. I still feel exhausted.

I contacted a lady here who is doing a summer daycare camp type thing out of her home. It sounds really fun, so I asked if my older girls could go once or twice a week. This will get them out of the house, I feel SO guilty that we never go out anymore since Lilah hates her carseat, and I have to keep her out of the heat/sun. My girls are used to being out a ton, always going somewhere, but this summer we have been totally house bound and they are going nuts...as am I. At least if they are out, I can nap when Lilah naps.
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  #6  
July 23rd, 2013, 08:19 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Erin, we're housebound too. I feel so bad for my son, who needs to be outside playing. But it's just so dang hot out and with her feeding so often, it's impossible. Can you hire a mother's helper to entertain your girls for a few hours in the morning? The daycare sounds like a good idea. And school will start soon - that's what I keep telling myself!

Is there any way you can cut out the night pumps? Maybe get your body on a different pumping schedule?
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  #7  
July 23rd, 2013, 10:15 AM
NewlyMrs's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So sorry you are going through a tough time. It won't be this way forever although it must seem like it. I hope it turns around soon. Thinking of you!
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  #8  
July 23rd, 2013, 10:26 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Pacific NW
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I don't have anything to add but just wanted to send my sympathy!! My first was awful for sleeping and it made me pretty much hate his first year of life. I would not go back and re-do it for any amount of money. Which is sad, because you're supposed to remember the little baby months with fondness, but I have pretty well blocked that time out of my memory. Plus the extreme lack of sleep probably messes with my ability to recall that time as well.
One little idea, while she is in the Ergo, have you tried facing her outward when she is mad and doesn't want to be held? You've probably already thought of that, but just in case, I thought I'd mention it.
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  #9  
July 23rd, 2013, 01:27 PM
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It says on the Ergo not to face them outward, to face them towards you only...so that's what I do.
I can cut out the night pump, but I'm not going to until 12 weeks because doing that pump in the night is super beneficial to my supply. I make about 50 ounces per day now, so I can afford to lose some, but like I said I'm being stubborn.

If she would just cut out one night feed, we'd be better. This morning she didn't even want to drink her bottle at 5am, she had maybe one ounce. She just wakes up, restless and wants to get up. DH managed to get her back to sleep somehow today until 7am.
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  #10  
July 23rd, 2013, 04:07 PM
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I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I think we can all relate, to varying degrees. We only have the one baby and I sometimes worry about how we're going to make it.

I want to encourage you to get your girls out of the house a few days a week and also try the shifts thing we do. I was reluctant at first because I love sleeping with my husband, but he was pretty insistent and it's made a difference in our sanity. Does she having a crying bout at the same time every day, or simply every day regardless of time? Would it be possible to change her schedule on her so that she were, say, sleeping, during the usual fussy time? Is there something that precedes the crying that you could identify and act quickly, before it gets bad? You say she gets fussy in her carrier, but what if you start walking/bouncing a bit? One more thought, is it possible to get someone (a family member or close friend) to watch all the kids maybe one evening/night sometime, so that you and hubby had some alone time? Anyway, I know you're probably sick of questions and advice, because when you're in those situations you try pretty much everything imaginable, but I hope you find something that helps, even a little bit!
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