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opinions please...


Forum: May 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
August 19th, 2013, 04:50 PM
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 181
Hi ladies. What would you do in this situation?

I live with my soon to be in laws and we have a great relationship. My Mom and I never really had a good relationship, but she was respectful towards my in laws...until my baby shower. Now she walks in THEIR house and does not acknoweldge them. This of course is really aggrivating them and my fiance...and with the relationship my Mom and I have, it is making me absolutly nuts! She never asks how her Grandson is doing...comes by whenever she feels necessary but always calls last minutes. I do not want to take my son away from her but I will NOT allow him to grow being so **** disrespectful. I want to confront her but at the same time I don't. My mother-in-law is saying she is going to say something next time...and I hope she does! Respect is respect!
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  #2  
August 19th, 2013, 05:05 PM
misty3281's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,717
I would just talk to her and tell her you want her to have a relationship with the baby, but she needs to be respectful of your time and your in laws house and give her some basic guidelines that need to be followed. Like calling at least 30 minutes before coming over and asking if its a good time, acknowledging other people in the house while she's there, and any other guidelines you feel need to be addressed. I know it's hard to talk to a parent about this stuff, but sometimes it's a conversation that has to be had. It's really not your in laws place to have to have this talk with her. Besides, if it comes from anyone other than you she might just completely ignore them and think as long as you aren't saying anything then you're ok with her behavior. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. We had to do something similar with DH's mom. It's not easy, but you have to think about what is best for your family and situation. Good luck!
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  #3  
August 19th, 2013, 06:36 PM
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 181
I spoke to her about a month ago. Things changed for one visit and then went back. I have NO clue what is causing her to do this. My in-laws are amazing people...heck...my father-in-law does not even speak English! The only thing I can think of is she is jealous...but I never once said she could not stop by. She drives passed the house twice a day for work too. I really am at a loss here....

I know this sounds crazy, but I never thought other people dealt with similar...
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  #4  
August 20th, 2013, 08:56 AM
jcperez's Avatar 1 Busy Momma
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,003
Sounds familiar! I would def. talk to your mom. Tell her flat out its disrespectful but at the same time tell her you love her and want her to be apart of your son's life. Tell her she is more than welcome to come over but she needs to call and at the very least acknowledge the in-laws because it is their house after all. Sounds like she may be a little jealous of the relationship you have with them. Maybe you can go to your moms house or meet her out most of the time so its not so stressful for everyone?
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  #5  
August 20th, 2013, 12:57 PM
Memi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,966
The other ladies gave great advice. I agree with Misty that it needs to be a conversation you have with her. Don't put your ILs in that awkward situation as it will only make their relationship with her worse.
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  #6  
August 20th, 2013, 01:35 PM
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Join Date: May 2013
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Maybe I will ask to meet her for breakfaat one day this week. I have to get her to end this before the wedding and baptism next month.
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  #7  
August 21st, 2013, 04:37 AM
misty3281's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,717
I think that's a good plan. We do all of our conversations with DH's mom in public places so she can't make a big scene. It's just easier that way.
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  #8  
August 21st, 2013, 07:36 AM
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Join Date: May 2013
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My Mom doesn't make scenes. She will shut down and put on a sad face lol an actress
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