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I don't know what to do about Lilah. She barely sleeps during the day - 20 minute naps in her swing. I want to get her to nap in her crib, but I have no idea how to go about doing that, it's going to be a long process, which means my 2 yr old will be on her own while I'm fighting with Lilah to get her to go to sleep.
At night, she goes down around 8, but is then restless all night, up 3-4 times but only once to eat around 2am. She's then up at 6am for the day, if not earlier.
She's tired every 90 min during the day like clockwork. She isn't happy just hanging out - she needs to be constantly entertained all day long and won't stay in one place for very long at all. I can't get her on a routine because she takes like 6-7 naps a day, instead of just 3 decent ones.
I'm super tired, and frustrated. I don't even know where to start with her sleeping issues.
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."
I know you don't want to, but maybe you NEED to get her out of your room and into her own. She might sleep better without the noises from you and your husband. A quiet room and a fan do the trick a lot of the time. Worth a shot!
Yup, you're right, I know......I will move her soon. I just need to buy an underpad for her crib mattress. I've been mentally preparing myself for it, I know she needs to move. I don't know if that will help her night sleep, but I'm hoping it will. I'd LOVE to get her out of the swing for naps too......I just don't know how we're going to go about that. I think doing on a weekend would be best because DH is home to watch the other girls, so I can deal with getting Lilah to sleep.
Here's what I would do...take it with a grain of salt, because I know every baby is different and what works for me might not work for you.
Get into a routine that means sleep. For us, it's double swaddle, white noise (sleep sheep and mobile), binky, and vibrating pad.
At an hour and 15 minutes of awake time, put Lilah down after going through the routine (for naps and for night time). Give yourself a time limit...say 20 or 30 minutes to try out the whole thing.
Put her down (awake) in the dark nursery, turn on the white noise, and walk away. Watch on the monitor. Let her "fuss" it out at intervals...5 mins? 7? Whatever you feel comfortable with. If she starts crying hard, go to her. Pick her up, snuggles, calm her down, then back down to try again.
If after the 30 minutes she's no closer to falling asleep, give up and have her nap in the swing. Try again next nap.
Repeat the process for a few days. If it's showing no signs of improving, take a week off and try again next week.
Who knows? Maybe she'll surprise you and learn to sleep on her own like a champ!
ETA: That's what I got from reading the Troublesome Tots site. It really makes sense to me, more so than any other sleep site I've read. It's what we did with Claire, and it really only took one or two days for her to get the hang of it. We're still having trouble getting her to fall back asleep if she wakes up in the middle of the night, and I'm having to go in and put her binky back in and reassure her, but one step at a time!
I agree with kurly and LabLover. You need to just put her down in her crib for a nap and walk away. Make sure she's fed and diapered, and then use some sleep training techniques. A little crying won't hurt her! I am using the Ferber method, not cry it out.
Awesome, thanks! I will try this this weekend. I want to be done with the swing so badly. I won't do cry it out by any means, and I don't think Lilah is a real good candidate for that anyway (she's stubborn and would probably just cry non stop), but I will do fuss it out. We'll see what happens! I think I might move her to her room for night time this weekend too.
Arthur is a mixed bag during the day... sometimes he'll nap great, sometimes he won't at all... it all is a surprise day to day.... However we recently got into a habit at night time that's really working for us! He wasn't going down until 1030 or later sometimes, but I started at 730 1 night by giving him a hot hot HOT bath (as hot as he could stand it) Then I got him dressed in a clean diaper and jammies, swaddled him tight, turned on a fan for white noise and nursed him... Out like a light by 830! He slept until his first normal feeding around 1am! We've been doing the bath every night, except the past 2 and I really noticed that he hasn't slept as great.
He does get up a few times to eat still, but I know for us the issues were 1)I wasn't putting him down when he was getting tired, therefore missing the window and resulting in him being over tired and refusing to sleep anywhere but our bed! and 2)I was holding him for too long. He wasn't sleeping deeply until I put him down in his crib. I didn't see a need to let him fuss or cry, but he'd only make noise a few times, I'd go in, pat his tummy, put the soother back in his mouth and shhhh him, until he drifted off again, without picking him up. I feel that for Arthur, going in at the first sign of fussing was much easier than waiting until he was crying, where I'd have to pick him up and calm him down. We're going on a week of successful nights, which isn't really long enough to say we've got this down, but it is a huge improvement!
I hope you find a routine that works for you soon!