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Who here breastfeeds at night in bed? I try so hard to get up with Owen and go sit with him in the chair, but he's still waking up on average 3+ times a night. By the third or fourth time, I can barely get myself out of bed to grab him from the bassinet, let alone go out and feed him in the rocker. He and I sleep amazingly well right next to each other, but I am terrified of SIDS and something happening to him while we sleep. He's got a very strong neck, btw, and rolls over now onto his belly, so maybe I shouldn't worry? Opinions? Personal anecdotes? Thanks!
I coslept with my first for the first year of his life. He woke up 8-10 times a night for most of that year. There was no way I was going to jump up that many times to grab him out of his crib! So against advice, I slept him with us. Even went more against the rules and kept the pillows and blankets on the bed, haha. I would tuck him in next to me. He slept for many months in the crook of my arm and it worked out great.
Something I did that I though would help guard against suffocation was I made sure that the blanket I used was thick, but not heavy, something that if it fell down over his face it wouldn't be thin and cling to his face, but also not heavy so as to smother him. Something a little more on the stiff side, if that makes sense? And I didn't use a top sheet, since that would be kind of thin and might cling. But if it did cling, it is 100% cotton, and breathable. I think it's a good thing to use cotton bedding, if you can. My little guy always slept better in 100% cotton everything. Less chance of overheating.
If you want to help guard against SIDS, you could also have a fan blowing on low aimed at you so that the air circulates freely. Just some ideas to maybe help you feel better about it.
I loved snuggling my little guy in the crook of my arm, he was my little snuggle buddy. It's a perfectly natural place to be, IMO. You could also invest in a cosleeper bed for him if you're concerned.
If you are a light sleeper, then I don't think there's anything to worry about. I can sleep pretty deeply but put a kid in bed with me, and I wake up every time they turn over! Your mommy instincts can kick in even in your sleep.
Thanks, Joy, for your input! I think you're right about the mommy instincts. I also am a pretty deep sleeper, but I'm still somehow always are of him, even in my soundest of sleeps. I also really enjoy being close to him at night since we're apart all day while I'm at work and I know this age won't last forever, so I'm relishing it. We're about to move into a new house and he'll have his own room, so I'm curious to see if perhaps having him in his crib will allow him to sleep more soundly or if he'll stay wake up a lot.
I read that when a mom and her baby cosleep, that their sleep cycles align themselves to one another. So if he wakes every night at 2am, then you will too, more or less. And if you wake at a certain time in the night, then he will too. It kind of makes sense anyway, if I get woken up by an alarm every morning at 8, chances are if the alarm is off I'll still wake up!
We are on and off with the bed sharing thing... right now it's off, I'm still getting up several times a night to feed him, but he's more comfortable being put down in his own bed after eating, so I'm going with that.
When we do bed share, I've been booting DH to our guest room. I don't feel it's safe for baby to be between 2 adults, but we don't have any ways of keeping him from falling out of bed. So I sleep on the edge of our King, and place a pillow along the other edge. He sleeps somewhere in the middle. (He's not rolling yet) I keep the blanket all behind me, and just pull what I use over my shoulder, and he sleeps in his sleep sack.
What would work better is for us to buy a bed rail, and that way he would sleep between me and the edge of the bed, and dh and I would share the blanket, with it behind me in the same way.
The only thing I would say may prevent me from suggesting someone who is interested from trying bed sharing is if they had some kind of fluffy feather mattress topper or something, that baby could suffocate in.
I really don't think bed sharing is the big taboo it once was. At the mommies group I attend I'm the only one not bed sharing 100% of the time, and we're not talking about some group of ultra hippies here, just regular every day moms!
Dr. Sears is a big promoter of safe bed sharing and I've found his books and articles to be helpful!
I bedshare with Jo all night every night. And honestly love it. I did with my second, slightly less willingly (sorta where you are now, wanting to get up and put him back down, but not having the energy). This time, I decided to set it up so it would work for us. I put her crib side carred to our bed and leveled the mattress with our bed. I cleared all extra items (I do use a pillow and blanket, but not near her). I place her on her back, head at chest level with my legs bent up around her legs and my arm above her head. It blocks her from going near my pillow and I do like Kalynn with my blanket behind me. I have read a lot about it and the general idea is that mom, especially a breastfeeding mom, is very aware of her baby. She should be the only one sleeping with baby (I am between DH and her). But that her natural awareness will alert her to baby's needs. When done safely, there are no differences in outcomes (aka: problems with SIDS) between cosleeping and crib sleeping. I see all the warnings and the general "don't do it" are because, much like cold medicines being banned for young children, people don't pay attention to the rules and it ends up costing a child their life. Knowing the guidelines (no alcohol or drugs, no fluffy stuff, no one else near baby, on back, use fan for air circulation, breastfeed, etc) and your baby will be just fine.
FWIW: my husband has watched me and Jo sleep and he says it's neat because when she moves, I move to accommodate her even in my sleep. And I always considered myself a pretty heavy sleeper before children. I won't be a happy camper when she needs or wants space of her own. I really love having her right next to me. And I rarely even remember night feedings (but I know they happen, because I am usually half dressed in the am!)
We cosleep as well after hia first night waking. Hes still waking up several times a night and wakes a lot more when he doesn't sleep with me. I just put him under my arm and sleep on my side facing him. I am very aware of him all night and honestly dont have any concerns about his safety. If I did. I would put a stop to it. DH still sleeps in our bed but its not a concern bc my arm is around baby and btwn him and baby and with a King sizw bed baby is right up against me with DH all the way on the other side.
the crib is sidecarred to the bed, but I find he will only sleep "alone" on his back for a while before he either rolls himself over or makes his way over to me. I just tuck the blankets under me and use a baby blanket over my arm/shoulder (because I sleep topless, since I'm a 24 hour buffet) and he just sleeps right up against me, with his head by my breasts and my arm above his head and I get to use my pillow. early in the morning, about an hour or two before we get up, I usually have to put him in the middle and I just lay him on top of the blanket so he can't pull it up.
We don't co sleep much, but I do put him on his stomach to sleep and I swear that made the difference for us. But his crib is in our room, so when he wakes up my husband picks him up and lays him next to me, I feed him until he falls back asleep then my husband returns him to his crib. I certainly can't be bothered to go anywhere to feed him.
We have a really firm memory foam mattress and a king sized bed; sometimes we do just keep him between us on his back with no blankets near him (and far enough from our pillows that he can't reach them) and get a little extra sleep time in the mornings.
I only cosleep when Tiago does not go back down easily. This past weekend he had a stuffy nose so he slept with me all night long!! Last night he woke at 2 and took a while to go back down is I took him in bed with me because I have to get up at 430 for work. I love sleeping with him, but my back...we'll, it doesn't love it so much...
Avery was finally going back in her crib after her sleeping hell week a couple weeks back, but since everything happened all I have for her to sleep in is a bassinet she's really too big for so I'm just letting her sleep with us right now. It's just easier. When we're back in our house I'll start putting her in her crib again.