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Forum: May 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By LolaBadola

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  #1  
October 4th, 2013, 11:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,198
Huge confession

I've not spent a whole day alone with my son since aug.
work has me more then half the week. I swore moving jobs was what was best but apparently part time turned into a full time 40 hours a week deal. I don't much baby time. I'm lucky if he still has energy to plAy when I pick him up at his dads house. He spends more time with Isaiah and lately I feel like Mason doesn't really know me or is use to me. I feel horrible!!
He was getting chest exams all week and all came out clear but spending time together in a hospital isn't what I want.

Other working moms... How do u deal with the feeling?
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  #2  
October 5th, 2013, 06:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 1,403
I'm sorry ur having to work full time honestly I'm not much help I've been part time since Zara was born which is nearly 7 yrs now is there anyway u could ask to reduce ur hrs or find a new job I can understand how ur feeling I cried loads the first time I left her but mason won't forget u ur his mum nobody is more important to him than u and u know him best I hope it works out soon x
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  #3  
October 5th, 2013, 09:03 AM
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 181
I feel your pain. I work 40 hrs a week and live with my in laws so we have to "share" Tiago in a sense. It is not easy. But, I spend as much time with him as I can after work and on the weekends. I take a lot of work home too so it is reall hard. There was one day esoecially that was hard when Tiago barely smiled or cooed to me but did it all for my mother-in-law...yea...I was upset. But, I do work for a daycare and Tiago does get care from ther so my entire lunch hour (if he is awake) is spent with him. I also work 630-330 so I have more afternoon time. The only problem is when Tiago is asleep for the night. .so am I because I wake between 330 & 430 for the day! Just know your baby will always love you!! If you ever need/want a friend...message me and I will give you my e-mail.
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  #4  
October 5th, 2013, 09:03 PM
MrsLisaT's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,022
That sounds horrible! Do you still get weekends with him? But, your worries of Mason not knowing you are false. You are his mama so therefore the most important person in his life (or at least one of the two most important)! You have to do what you think is best for him and if working full time so you can provide for him is it, than that makes you an amazing mama!
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  #5  
October 5th, 2013, 09:36 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,671
I don't have any input because I'm not working, but just wanted to send hugs!
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  #6  
October 5th, 2013, 09:58 PM
Shufu_in_Shunan's Avatar Padawan Kim
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Yamaguchi, Japan
Posts: 547
I can't really give any advice, since I'm not working, but that must be so hard. I will say that both of my parents worked full time when I was growing up, and it didn't make me know or love them any less. Hang in there!
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  #7  
October 6th, 2013, 09:18 AM
markswife's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,683
Is visiting him on your lunch an option? I go nurse Caroline at lunch every chance I get. I love having her all to myself without her sister interrupting. It also breaks up the day nicely. It is easier to only be away for 4 hours instead of 8.
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  #8  
October 6th, 2013, 02:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,198
Thanks ladies

No my hours are scattered into 4 hours
I did a split **** yesterday. I left work at 11pm by the time I got home Isaiah and baby were asleep then I had to be here at 9..
Won't leave till 7pm then come back at 930
I just want him to know I'm not leaving him just to get away
I see how he's smiles and loves his dad... Sometimes I don't get that look from him in a day and it kills me
I try to whisper sweet words to him. Telling him my day at work and how I love him so much but it's not enough. I could ask for fewer hours but I'm new to the job. I don't wanna be a slacker. As for visiting him at lunch.. With traffic and all... It's impossible. The best I do is call on breaks.
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  #9  
October 7th, 2013, 06:02 AM
misty3281's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,738
I can tell you what works for me is working 12 hour nights. When I had to start working ER recently for DH to finish school faster I debated on days or nots. Ultimately I decided I'd rather miss her while she's sleeping than during the day while she's awake. I work 7pm-7am, so when I get home she's up and ready to play. I play with her until her first nap, usually around 9:30, then give her to someone else to go rest while she's sleeping. They'll keep her till she gets hungry then bring her to me to nurse. When I wake up around 1130 I'll go play with her some more and stay up until about 3 when she takes her afternoon nap. When she's asleep again I go lay down again to sleep a couple hours before having to leave. Get up around 530, get dressed, and hold and nurse her before I leave. She is asleep for the night around 7 so there's not much awake time I'm missing out on. I know 12 hours sounds long, but when you know they're sleeping it's not bad. 12 hour days would seem much longer. I don't know if you could work strictly evenings or nights, but it might be something to look into.
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  #10  
October 7th, 2013, 07:54 AM
May 2013 Cohost
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,594
Wow, misty. That's an incredibly grueling schedule! You are like super Mom to me!
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  #11  
October 7th, 2013, 02:03 PM
LabLover13's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Marysville, WA
Posts: 307
I totally get it. Every free minute I have when I'm not working, I want to spend with Claire. It's hard working 40+ hours a week and losing out on that baby time.

It will get better!
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  #12  
October 7th, 2013, 03:47 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Malibu, CA
Posts: 905
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TeeCee, don't beat yourself up over it. You're already setting an amazing example on many levels--and someday Mason will learn that Mommy is a strong, independent, intelligent woman who works hard to take care of him. You're doing what you need to do to support yourself and that's important. Here's the way I rationalize my 40 hr. a week absence from my kids' lives - the time that I AM around, I make it count. I do not allow myself to be distracted. I don't sit on the computer or make a ton of phone calls. I give as much love and attention as I can in the morning, at night, and on the weekends. And what I realized while on maternity leave when I was home all the time is that just because you're there, doesn't mean you're THERE. So make the time that you're with Mason count and I promise, that's all he'll remember anyway. And in the meantime, he will grow to be a flexible, socialized little guy who is open to others taking care of him. Who could want more than that? And hopefully no offense to the moms who don't work, because I'm guessing most, if not all of you, are doing a bang-up job as stay-at-home's--much better than I would do!
jcperez likes this.
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  #13  
October 7th, 2013, 08:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,198
Definitely
When it's just me and Mason I don't allow anyone else to help me take care of h. I do all the feedings and nap times with him. I can get him to giggle with me so that melts my heart every time. His dad does have him alone more then I do but like I said... I need to provide. And I'm determined to give him the world. Ill admit my patience has dwindled. I have to learn that all over again with him.
I'm off tonight and tomorrow and trust me it's all Mason. I just put him down for bed so I'm really feeling mommy again.
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