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I'm just at the point where I'm tired of the fight, and I just want to cut out all her naps unless we're in the car. Every nap is a fight. She gets tired, I put her down, she rolls around talking, then ends up hitting her head on the bars and crying. If I go in to console her (which I do every time), she absolutely loses it when I leave again, and there is no way she's sleeping. It takes us going through all this 3-4 times before she actually sleeps. I just give up and bring her back down after a while because she just refuses to sleep. When she does nap, it's for 30 min and she's up again. She won't even let me rock her. At night, she's up 2 times to eat, then up at the crack of dawn. After the first night feeding, around midnight, she lies there WIDE awake, shrieking and talking and carrying on for about 15 min before going back to sleep. She's up every 3 hrs in the night.
I don't even know what to do anymore. She wakes my other two girls up at 5:30 or 6am every day, and then they end up tired all day (my 5 yr old is in school). It isn't fair to them, but I have no clue what to do. She CAN put herself to sleep, she does it in the night and sometimes for naps - she lies there talking and eventually drifts off.
Wow she is such a difficult sleeper! Sounds like you have tried everything. Maybe she's the exception to the rule...less day sleeping will = more night sleeping? Worth a try. Sorry it has been so rough. Naps and a good nights sleep is important to our sanity as moms!
Melissa, Mommy to Grady James, 4-4-13
This sucks! I'm shocked she hasn't figured out a schedule yet, you have to be going out of your mind. Maybe it's time to do the opposite of everything were told to try and see what happens. I'm sending you my best wishes
I don't know how to help, but I'm also still going through huge sleep problems with Kaeldra. I don't even try putting her down for naps most of the time anymore. The only way she'll fall asleep during daylight is if she nurses and then naps on me. She'll usually nap like that twice a day...once for about 15 minutes and another time for sometimes an hour (or rarely up to 2 hours, if I can manage to sit that way without moving for that long), but the times aren't predictable.
She still wakes every 1-3 hours at night. She just wakes up crying, sitting up, rolling around, crawling around. I think she's probably teething, so I'm sure that's probably contributing to the problem. One night she woke up 7 times. She only had 7 and a half hours of sleep in a 24 hour period that day. We talked to her pediatrician about her usually only getting around 10 hours of sleep in a day and he didn't seem concerned at all, but sometimes I wonder if something was lost in translation and he thought we meant that's how long she was sleeping at night, not including naps.
I keep thinking this has to start getting better at some point, but so far her sleep just continues getting worse!
Erin, how long do you let her cry before you go in? I've been surprised by Lexi - sometimes if I wait 15 min or even 30 min she goes back to sleep. It's kind of like a milder cry it out. Is that something you would be willing to try?
Erin, I am so sorry you are having so much trouble with Lilah sleeping, but selfishly, I'm glad I'm not alone. Chase barely sleeps. I come on JM everyday to read up on how everyone is doing, but rarely get a chance post, or comment on posts. Every time I see one of your posts about sleep, I totally feel for you. I keep trying different methods with Chase, and nothing is working. He is such a happy and easy baby, except when it comes to sleeping. I get about 2.5 to 3 hours of sleep a night. I look like I have aged 10 years these past few months. He will sleep in my arms, but as soon as I put him down, he is up and ready to go. It's like 5 minutes of sleep in my arms totally recharges him. Cry it out is not for me. I have no issues with those who use that method at all, I just can't get myself to go through with it. Tried it one night for 8 minutes and I thought I was going to throw up.
Anyway, I wish I had solid advice for you, but I don't I just tell myself that it will pass. That some day the whites of my eyes will be actually white again, and not pink. When I feel like I am going to break down and cry because I am shaking with exhaustion, I try to remind myself that some day he won't want me to hold him, so I better enjoy it now. I really hope this passes for you soon!
Proud wife to Paul
Blessed Mom to Shawn
5/25/03 with us for 6 months
8/11/12 with us for 5 weeks
I'm glad I'm not alone as well Elly - seriously, all I read is how so many babies are sleeping 8-12 hrs straight at night now. My brother's baby was born in Sept and she sleeps 12 solid hrs a night and naps twice a day for 1 1/2 to 2 hrs each. Makes me feel like I've done something seriously wrong with Lilah.
Today she napped for 10 min in the morning, then was up until 12:30pm - she went SEVEN hours without napping (except for the 10 min). To me, that's insane for an 8 month old. When she did nap, it was for 1 hour. After that she fell asleep in the car going to get my oldest from school, and napped another 30 min at 3pm. That was it until she went to bed at 7. I wouldn't care so much if she slept at night, it would kind of make up for it, but she doesn't.....she's up to eat a couple times and then up rolling around and crawling around other times. I feel so bad for my other two girls. They sleep through all of it at night, but she does wake them in the morning when she's up for the day.
Kary - I can't do CIO. I, too, feel like I'm going to puke listening to her cry! I can't do it. I tried it once or twice with Lilah and only let her go maybe 10 min before I went in. She seems to be an exception to that rule as well - she just gets herself SO worked up that she won't go to sleep. If I go in and console her, then leave again, she absolutely loses it.
Erin, were your other 2 girls just naturally better sleepers? I feel like my son was. So I'm kind of like a fish out of water with Lexi. She hasn't responded comsistently to my attempts at cry it out, so I've pretty much given up that method. I found it too hard to continue because it was stressing me out and waking my son up every night. Now I just go in and feed her in the middle of the night. She's basically down to one night waking a night, though, so it hasn't been too bad. For naps I will do cry it out because I know I have just fed her so she's not hungry. And I know she's tired so eventually she will fall asleep. She usually does within 30 min.
The fact that Lilah has trouble night sleeping and also naps poorly during the day doesn't surprise me. They actually go together. I've heard that poor day sleep contributes to poor night sleep. She's overtired by the time bedtime rolls around. Sleep begets sleep. If you want better nights, work on her daytime sleep. Find a sleep training method that you are comfortable with. Because at this point you need to teach her - she is not just going to get it via osmosis. Apply your method during the day first, and be consistent with it for 2 weeks. That's the only thing I can recommend at this time!
Also, a while back I remember you were trying some method with naps and had some success. You let her fuss for a little bit? What happened with that?
Last edited by kary4; January 22nd, 2014 at 08:45 PM.
It's like she goes through short phases. A while back, I was letting her fuss when I'd put her down for naps, but the fussing often escalated into screaming, at which point I'd have to go get her. This went on for a week or two, and then it's like a switch was flipped and she started going down easily for naps for a while. Now she's back to freaking out every time I try to put her down.
I've heard sleep begets sleep. My thing is that even if I get her to sleep, she sleeps for 30-40 min.....and I can't make her sleep any longer. When she's up, she's up. So even if I do get her down for naps, they are never long.
Last night she was up twice - both times to eat, neither time would she go back to sleep without a bottle. It really seems to me like she's actually hungry, but I could be wrong. She was up at midnight and 3am. So she went 5 hrs, 3hrs, then another 3 hrs since she was up at 6am today.
I know every baby is different, but it's just so hard to see that MOST babies this age are sleeping well and napping decently too.
My middle daughter was naturally a great sleeper, and still is. My first daughter wasn't as good of a sleeper as my middle, but definitely not as bad a sleeper as Lilah. Now though, she sleeps like a rock!
I'd say give the no naps a try, trying something is better than doing nothing!
Kody is a terrible sleeper too. On a good night he might only wake 5 times. On a bad night it might be 10 times. With most babies, you're better off getting them to sleep right at the first signs of sleepiness, but when Kody is having a bad day/fighting sleep, he does better when I just wait till he's exhausted and then he conks out. So not every baby goes by the book!
Erin, Lexi's naps are still super short too. I just resign myself to that fact and do the best I can. She gives me 45 min to one hour in the am, and 30-45 min in the pm. This week some of her naps were only 30 min! My own son would nap 2 hours, twice a day at this age! I get down, too, but there's not much I can do to make her stay asleep. I have friends with 3 and 4 month olds who are already sleeping through the night ie. 11-12 hours straight! Just know this will pass. Probably when she's done breastfeeding. That's my hope for us! Oh, and I'm definitely weaning at age 1!!!
Oh, also Lexi just broke in a top tooth yesterday - so maybe teething is an issue? Lexi goes through phases, too...some days she goes down easily, others she screams her head off. Joy posted a link to an article that said this was normal.
Last night I gave her a bunch of sweet potato right after bath, so right before bed. She hates sweet potato out of a jar, but LOVES it when I make it home made (hence the reason I've stopped buying jarred baby food!)...so she ate a bunch of it. She then played for 20 min, had her bedtime bottle (5oz), and went to bed. She slept until 1am.....a record for her lately. She had a bottle, then slept until 5:30am and was up for the day. I don't remember a night when she was only up once to eat. I'm going to try to feed her some food again tonight after bath and see if that's what's helping.
As for naps - I'm so glad when I read that Lilah isn't the only one taking short naps. My other two, by this age, napped longer. Also, because Lilah takes such short naps throughout the day, she still needs an evening nap.....so she can't eat dinner with us which sucks - we usually put her down around 5pm and she sleeps for 30 min. She does NOT want to go down for that nap, she fights it like crazy, but I don't think she'd make it to 7pm without it. That is my least favourite nap to get her down for.