new with hard questions....

SailorsWife · #1 October 22nd, 2009, 04:11 AM

Hi there, my name is Courtney and I just recently found out I am expecting a little girl. I am so unbelievably excited and I wanted a girl so so soooo badly so feel very blessed, but since finding out I'm having a very hard time with some random kind of personal stuff. I'm just wondering if any of you had these same issues and have any advice for me. After finding out I'm going to have a daughter I suddenly started paying so much more attention to women and their role in society, in a relationship, and just in general and I'm scared. Possible TMI here but this is one of my biggest issues.... I'm having a hard time being intimate with my husband. Every time he wants to start anything sexual, I find I have no sex drive because all I can think about is my baby girl. Just thinking about how one day a guy will be trying the same things with her and that just disgusts and horrifies me. I know that sounds weird, and she should be the last thing from my mind at that time, but she's all I can think about. I think about how I'm going to be her example and how I'm not happy with alot of the decisions I've made in my life and how am I going to answer her questions when she gets older and wants to know how to handle herself in a situation. I know this is years and years down the road, but I don't know how to get over the worries. Other than that, I'm realizing the dynamics in my relationship and while I have a fantastic very balanced relationship with my husband, he seems to be an oddball of a man. I listen to the people I work with and their relationships and how the woman has certain expectations to uphold that are deeply seated in age old stereo typical roles. I don't agree with that. I agree with equality in a relationship and I'm terrified of not being able to raise her to know that those stereo types are not the way life has to be. Gosh I don't even know how to express everything I'm feeling and all the questions I have and worries that are eating at me. Do you ladies mind if I join in here and hang around? I know I have a long time to go still, but maybe if I can hang around and learn from your experiences I will be able to be a better mother to my daughter when the time comes. Thank you so much for reading and any advice you have would be amazingly appreciated. Thank you again.

Mountain~Mama · #2 October 22nd, 2009, 05:41 AM

I think what you are feeling is totally normal. When I was pg with Audrey, I had alot of these same feelings and thoughts. It is a HUGE responsiblitity to raise a child and what we do and don't do has a big impact on them. On the other hand, they are thier own person and will be who they are destined to be. Just try to expose her to the positive influences you want her to see. You can choose what she sees on TV, what she reads, what she plays with. When she is exposed to something that you aren't happy with, use it as an opportunity to teach her why it is wrong.

Try not to stress yourself out. I'm sure you will be an excellent mom. Even though we all make mistakes, we all do the best we can.

WishingStar · #3 October 22nd, 2009, 07:24 AM

I think we all worry about raising our children. If you believe in a way of life and live that way of life, your children see that. You can't try to teach them one thing and live another way. So, as long as it's not "do as I say not as I do", you'll be fine.

I hope you do stay around. I look forward to getting to know you.