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I didn't know how else to word the title, but it's pretty fitting. All I'm doing anymore (when I'm not working) is looking at pregnancy stuff, thinking about it, worrying about it, taking dollar store tests, etc.
This is my first pregnancy and I'm really happy, but the anxiety takes over sometimes and I even feel like it's all a dream or I've made it up somehow. I've now taken 5 home pregnancy tests (and took a pee test at the doc's to confirm and so that I can get started with some insurance). The first two were digital and clearly came up pregnant. I took the other kind, and the pregnant line was darker than the control line both times. Just took a dollar store one and the line was very clear even before the pee absorbed up to the control line.
I'm sure I'm driving my SO crazy, but it's reassuring to see those two lines and I have to do it to make it seem more real to me. I keep hoping that because the lines are so clear, that my hormones are doing what they're supposed to and everything is going well.
It's also a little weird for me to think of a little apple seed-sized human being with a heart and organs and all that growing inside of me. I'm not just living for myself now, there's something counting on me. Someone.
I'm sure this is all normal for a first pregnancy, but I just needed to vent.
Aww, I was just like that with my first. Just wait until you start reeeaaalllllllly feeling it in a couple weeks. The accidental naps and barfing when you brush your teeth will take over the need for pee tests.
Anxiety is totally normal. I'm a lot more relaxed this time, but I'm still a bit obsessive. I can't stop researching newborn diapers and checking zulily for adorable things and thinking about how we're going to squeeze the crib into our room, and renting a recliner in case I have another c-section, and and AND...
I know I just need to calm down, especially since I've taken 6 tests all together now and they've all be absolutely and unmistakably positive. The pregnancy lines being darker than the control lines and instantly showing I think is good, but still worried. Haha.