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Rant about the (now ex) SO.


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 3 Post By phantomsgrl11
  • 3 Post By 8miraclez

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  #1  
October 20th, 2012, 08:14 PM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Okay, so if you read my post about it, you know that the SO that I'm pregnant with dumped me about a week ago. Wanting to work on our friendship and saying he didn't know if he was in love with me. He also asked why I wouldn't get an abortion. That brings you up to speed if you didn't already know.

We're still living together (thank goodness for a two bedroom duplex!) because he wants to be friends. He's helping out a ton around the house, which I'm thankful for, but it's still hard to have him here sometimes. Tonight while we're hanging out, I mentioned something about the pregnancy. Somehow we got onto the topic of how he thinks I'm more "okay" than he is. That I'm taking the pregnancy better than he is. Can I just say get the hell over yourself? This is what has been killing me the whole time - he's been all freaked out, worried, depressed, confused about the whole pregnancy thing and I've been the one trying to keep him calm. Isn't there something wrong with this picture? I told him tonight that just because he doesn't see me freak out, doesn't mean I'm doing okay. I just don't bother him with it.

I'm the one that got pregnant and has a baby trying to grow inside of my uterus, trying to work full time at a job that I don't like all that much and that is very physically demanding, and then he dumps me about a week after he finds out I'm pregnant. And HE'S the one not taking it well? Give me a freaking break.


Okay, rant over.
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  #2  
October 20th, 2012, 08:23 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Sept 2014 DDC Co-host
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So sorry,
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  #3  
October 20th, 2012, 08:27 PM
phantomsgrl11's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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What a tool. =( I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like he has a little bit of growing up to do still.

How long were you guys together before you get pregnant? Understandbly if it was a short time the whole working on your friendship first does make sense because you will need some sort of relationship to raise your child together. I still think it sucks you have to deal with this all at once though.


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  #4  
October 20th, 2012, 08:41 PM
edgeofelise's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That is A LOT to deal with at one time. I'm sorry!
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  #5  
October 20th, 2012, 11:01 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
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Guys don't get it. I was immediately in love as soon as I saw 2 lines, despite the fact that this wasn't planned. My dh on the other hand, had a really hard time. He doesn't have that emotional connection and all he's looking at is how much it's going to cost.

I hope he comes around. Hang in there and concentrate and yourself for awhile and hopefully, he'll realize what a catch you are. If not, you'll be ready to make it on your own.
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  #6  
October 21st, 2012, 03:59 AM
mommy220's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry, that sucks. I hope you really told him how you feel. It sounds like everything is about him him him. Good luck!
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  #7  
October 21st, 2012, 05:56 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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As always, you ladies are so supportive!

I told him that just because I don't act like I'm freaking out, doesn't mean I'm not. He's being outwardly supportive in that he's helping out a ton around the house. He even makes me food when I can't stand to be in the kitchen. He's lacking in the emotional support, though. I know guys aren't good like that, but even when I ask him if he wants to talk about what's going through HIS mind because he's always so freaked out, he's like "well, nothing can be done about it anyway." I'm done trying to help him come around. I'm hoping that when he hears the heartbeat for the first time, maybe he'll stop being so self absorbed. With the way he's been acting, I'm actually happy that we're not romantically involved. Nothing worse to me than a mopey, self absorbed, woe-is-me kind of guy!

Thanks again ladies for all your support, advice, and kinds words! I'm so thankful to have found this site and this DDC!!
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  #8  
October 21st, 2012, 06:09 AM
safarilime's Avatar Super Mommy
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The exact thing happened to a friend of mine and she found out he was seeing someone else but when she was 18 weeks pregnant they got remarried and now they live happily ever after and he makes it up to her everyday and is a really great dad.

Hope everything works out the way you want it too. Use this time to think about yourself and the baby too.. Thinking of you and baby.
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  #9  
October 21st, 2012, 08:00 AM
enchantingdragon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im so sorry he is being this way. Having a baby can freak anyone out but he isnt handling it very well.
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  #10  
October 21st, 2012, 10:21 AM
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Honey you are stronger than I am cuz if I had to look at BD everyday I would either cry or punch him in the face!! Hang in there!! Hopefully he comes around and sees this for the amazing gift and blessing it is!!
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  #11  
October 21st, 2012, 10:23 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ditto!

you are much stronger then I could be
I don't think I could live in the same place as him!!!

hang in there
rub your belly and know he/she loves you! <3
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  #12  
October 21st, 2012, 12:57 PM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks again everyone for your support. I believe you all would be strong enough to do what I'm doing. It is hard to have him in the house sometimes because of course I still have feelings for him. Not only that, but what happens when the baby is born? Does he move out? Do we figure out another arrangement? I can barely afford the duplex on my own and I certainly won't be able to after the baby is here. Lots of questions running through my head for sure. I suppose there is time to figure all that out, but they still run through my head. And thankfully today BD is annoying the hell out of me. Not helping me bring groceries in and just being indecisive about doing stuff. Driving me nuts!! Man up already! Haha.

Thanks again everyone for listening!! I hope you all know how much it means to me!
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  #13  
October 21st, 2012, 10:52 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh gosh I feel you so much. When I was pg with DD my ex got another woman pg when I was 6 months pg. Then I forgave him and then he got a third woman pg when DD was 8 weeks old. And the whole time I was pregnant he was complaining to me that it was hard on him and he wanted me to get an abortion also. Well he continued the attitude my whole pregnancy and didnt act like a dad to DD. So needless to say my DH is more of a dad to my DD and loves her as his own and he claims her as his and god forbid someone try to tell him otherwise. So ditch the loser and maybe the higher power is just lookin out for you and bean early. Hugs hun!!!
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