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Trouble in relationships


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
December 5th, 2012, 09:07 AM
Rochelle
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Floor-ree-dah
Posts: 3,388
Am I just wacked out of my mind?! Is anyone else having a severely hard time dealing with friends/family/others since becoming pregnant?

I've had 2 friendships bottom out in the past couple months. Neither of them know I am pregnant so it's not that. They just changed, or is it me that's changed? And other than being weirded out by it, I'm fine with being out of their lives. There was no fight. I felt like I was being pushed away so I just gave up trying. One of them in particular is sad to me bc she's a childhood friend. But that's all over now.

I dunno. And then there's my three remaining friends. Yes, that's all I have left. One is wonderful and we get along famously even as a long distance friendship. But the other two I almost want to let go of. I feel like I have valid reasons. Mainly, they just piss me off. Have I become a Stone cold pregnant ****** or what?!

The one I especially have gotten a cold-heart towards was willing to have me watch her kids last week even though she may have had a stomach virus. She seemed convinced it was only food poisoning even though her SO and MIL got a version of it too. Her justification was that her kids never got it. It just made me so mad that she would even try to guilt me bc I said no to watching her kids. I'm pregnant and I think this is the worse time for me to be chancing getting sick so she can clean her mom's house kid-free. Then I start to feel melodramatic. Maybe she's just not thinking things through. But then I go back to her being selfish.

This is Christmas time and I should be embracing the people in my life but I feel like disowning almost all of them.

UGH!!! Anyone else or am I the only Grinch here?
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  #2  
December 5th, 2012, 09:34 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,210
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I had this happen with my 2nd pregnancy. We are fine now but it was a rough year. She called me when I was pregnant with my third to apologize for her actions (she had done so before but was doing it again) saying she wasnt in a great place in her life when this happened. I thought for sure we would have another falling out this time around but she was nothing but supportive. She left her crazy husband and is in a much better place in her life now so our friendship is better. I hope that things get better for you. Friends as adults are so hard to come by I tend to let them go for a bit but then when things calm down bring them back.
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  #3  
December 5th, 2012, 09:38 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 160
ugh..she should NOT have asked you to watch her kids if there was even a slight chance of them being sick. I say OFF with her head!!!

But then today I just woke up aggravated and mad at the world. I so want to punch someone int he face right now. And no one has pissed me off or anything. Just moody

I've been anti social since I got pregnant, got slightly better once I reach the second semester for a couple weeks, but hit me full strenght today. I am annoyed, and I don't like people, and don't want to talk/see/be near them. I am on this board but then it's different to sit here and people and to actually have to INTERACT in person with someone. I mostly look myself in my office all day, go home and lay on the sofa and read/nap/sleep/watch tv and have no human interaction ( hubbie lets me be)

I even avoid my parents some even though I love them very much ( because they cannot just let me be like hubbie),

with this pregnancy, I feel like most of the times, I just want to be left alone, in my little world without no one even looking at me LOL
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  #4  
December 5th, 2012, 10:34 AM
Regular
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 89
I tend to want to hide from people right now, some of them just irritate me. My 2 BFF's are driving me batty. One has kids and the other doesn't, but they both tell me what to do... "did you take your vitamin? Are you eating better now that you're pregnant? Are you still excersizing? Did you drink enough water today? Have you gained too much weight like last time"....really???? Yes, I take my vitamins, I didn't eat bad before I got pregnant, I actually LOST weight before, I haven't gained hardly anything this time, and besides the point, WTH are you to tell me what to do???? I find myself not answering the phone when they call.
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  #5  
December 5th, 2012, 11:09 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,860
I'm anti-social anyway but it gets worse when I'm pregnant. I'm tired and moody and just want to put my pjs on without dealing with the world
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  #6  
December 5th, 2012, 02:12 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,874
I had that happen with my last pregnancy. I pushed people away, and lost my closest friends.. I am not sure but I think it was a mix of me being grouchy and them being judgemental and not understanding. It has been hard to go on without many friends, and absolutely no close ones... so try your best to keep them around! I definitely have my regrets about that.

Hang in there! Pregnancy and the crazy hormones are just temporary and if they are real friends, they will stick it out with you!
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  #7  
December 5th, 2012, 02:43 PM
Rochelle
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Floor-ree-dah
Posts: 3,388
Thanks for making me feel slightly better about things ladies. I'm trying to kill her with kindness right now even though part of me wants to just kill her. I'm so glad I have people to vent to who know how I'm feeling. Pregnancy is a wonderful, happy thing to be cherished but it's also just hard, emotionally and of course physically. DH had the nerve the other night to say he wants 12 kids right as we were starting to DTD and I could have slapped him! How dare he act like popping out babies is just "lah-dee-dah". It's no cakewalk. And un-pregnant friends try as they might don't seem to get that we may be going through some rough days. "Hello, I'm just this happy pregnant walking blob, how could I ever be less than 100% ecstatic all the time". It's always about them and their drama and if you're not giving them all your extra attention then they have no need for you. If you dare complain about anything at all, they act annoyed bc after all that's all us preggo's do all day is whine and complain. The funny thing is other than whine about housework, I rarely mention my pregnancy to people. I figure it would get boring to hear about it all the time. And we don't get the luxury of having a drink to dull our senses at the end of a stressful day. We just suck it up while our friends are getting tipsy after they put the kids to bed. If I even am still awake by the time the kids heads hit the pillow, I'm too exhausted to even go to the kitchen for some water.
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  #8  
December 5th, 2012, 02:49 PM
Rochelle
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Floor-ree-dah
Posts: 3,388
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logan plus one Mommy View Post
I tend to want to hide from people right now, some of them just irritate me. My 2 BFF's are driving me batty. One has kids and the other doesn't, but they both tell me what to do... "did you take your vitamin? Are you eating better now that you're pregnant? Are you still excersizing? Did you drink enough water today? Have you gained too much weight like last time"....really???? Yes, I take my vitamins, I didn't eat bad before I got pregnant, I actually LOST weight before, I haven't gained hardly anything this time, and besides the point, WTH are you to tell me what to do???? I find myself not answering the phone when they call.
I would want to smack the living daylights out of friends like that. I'd say.. "I got this". Yea, ignore them for a while and maybe they'll figure out that they're being annoying. That just sucks,.





Dragonfly- Thanks and I KWYM about being happy to talk to ppl in the DDC but not ppl IRL. Us preg-women just get it.
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  #9  
December 5th, 2012, 03:32 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,612
I feel ya. I lost a lot of "friends" with my first pregnancy. My friends without kids just don't get it. It thoroughly annoys me to hear all their drunk stories about the night before...been there done that and all your stories are the same. Shut your mouth.

I have only a few friends that have kids now and we are always so busy with our families that we don't really hang out like we used to. My 2 best friends are single with no kids but they are pretty understanding...I just avoid them while pregnant because I get sick of the "I don't know how you do it" and "I'm so glad I don't have kids yet" comments. Makes me want to punch them in the face.
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  #10  
December 6th, 2012, 07:44 AM
Joanne Nicole's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 1,037
I was so excited to move back to where I went to high school and university, because I had held onto a lot of friendships and I was looking forward to picking back up with them. But then I got here...and I'm the only one who is married or has a kid, and then you add being pregnant to that, and I just have nothing in common with any of them anymore. I got invited to a lot of parties and stuff when we first moved, and they all congratulated me when I told them I was pregnant...but it's obvious that we just don't click the way we used to. They've stopped inviting me and I've stopped making any effort to get together with them.

So now it's just me and my family - and they're all driving me crazy. I deal with on and off depression which seems to get worse during pregnancy. I mostly avoid everyone nowadays. My dad drives me to tears almost on a daily basis and I'm so annoyed with my sister that I don't want to speak to her. She just had her first baby last month, and I should be happy and excited for her, but I just can't stand talking to her. She keeps giving me pregnancy and parenting advice. She has a one month old baby and she's suddenly the expert on all things parenting. I HAVE been through this before, I KNOW all this stuff she's telling me. But she does it in such a patronizing, sanctimonious way that I just want to strangle her! She actually felt the need to remind me that drinking alcohol is bad for the baby! No, really? Because, you know...I was such an alcoholic before I got pregnant, with my 3-4 glasses of wine a week habit - that I must need to be reminded not to drink now. UGH! And in the one month since she had the baby she's lost 40 lbs, and often reminds me that I can lose weight too if I just exercise and eat better.

Ok. Done rant. Yep, I'm right there with you guys.
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