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My brother in law passed away expectantly at only 31 years of age


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
December 18th, 2012, 09:40 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 199
Hey guys, I haven't been on in awhile. I've had a pretty bad week, my family is really in need of some prayers. My brother in law and sister have been trying to lose weight and they were found to be candidates for gastric bypass surgery. Well my brother in law got his surgery first , on wednesday and he wasnt doing great after, the surgery is supposed to be a same day surgery so they do it that day and you go home, but they kept him until friday night. Sunday morning, my father (they live with my parents, down the street from me) got up and checked on him around 6:30 am & he said he was very thirsty, now my brother in law is overweight so he always complained of being short of breath so, my parents got him water and went back to bed, well i guess around 7:30 am my dad didnt hear my brother in law so he went to check on him & he wasnt breathing, so my dad yelled for my mom to call 911, my sister came downstairs and her and my dad got him on the floor to do CPR, my mom called my fiance because he used to be an emt so we flew down the road and he took over cpr until ems got there . We then went to the hospital, they did everything they could and he didnt make it. I cant bring myself to use other terms yet. After an autopsy the medical examiner told my sister he had passed from m assive internal bleeding, he was bleeding from his incisions from the gastric bypass surgery so even if we had gotten him to the hospital earlier there wasnt much they could have done because of the amount of blood he had lost.

It is very difficult to stay stress free while trying to deal with this, my family is very close and he had just lost him mother last year before their wedding and his father after their wedding, they were married only a year and a half and he was only 31 years old. I feel so bad for my sister because I want to fix it all and I cant. They had plans, they were going to have their surgeries get healthy and in 18 months start a family. I just have to keep telling myself and everyone that although we may not understand the plan, it is gods plan and he has one for all of us. My sister was supposed to get the same surgery with the same surgeon this past monday and I made her promise she will never have the surgery. 'It is a very scary thing to try to cope with, I wish he didnt have to go. They are going to have services for him on thursday and I have not worked at all this week.

It is very hard to be excited about christmas, an upcoming wedding (in 30 days) and stay calm for my baby. My next appointment is the 28th , and I pray everything will be fine.
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  #2  
December 18th, 2012, 09:50 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 4,127
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. That is so horrible. He was so young and it seemed like he was just trying to improve his health for a better future. I am so sorry and I will keep you and your family are in my prayers.
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  #3  
December 18th, 2012, 10:05 PM
MissyBee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh no! I'm so sorry this happened to your family! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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  #4  
December 18th, 2012, 10:13 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Your family is in my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.
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  #5  
December 18th, 2012, 10:20 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sorry to hear. I hope your sister is able to loose weight and get healthy without having the surgery...id be afraid to have it after that Try to stay positive and not to overstress. Hugs!
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  #6  
December 19th, 2012, 02:58 AM
mommy220's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so so sorry for your loss. That is so horrible and sad. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family this holiday season.
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  #7  
December 19th, 2012, 03:45 AM
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Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! Was the doctor at fault or is this a complication they warn about? I feel so sorry for your sister because they sound like they had great plans and life came in & did a 360 & right before Christmas! I would be terrified to get the procedure done & I definitely couldn't go back to that doctor. Your family will definitely be in my prayers.
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  #8  
December 19th, 2012, 03:50 AM
briellelynette's Avatar Veteran
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I'm so sorry everyone is going through this. Prayers for your family.
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  #9  
December 19th, 2012, 04:09 AM
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Oh my gosh, I am sooo sorry. That is so terrible. Your family is in my prayers.
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  #10  
December 19th, 2012, 04:24 AM
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I'm so sorry! I'm praying for you and your family.
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  #11  
December 19th, 2012, 04:25 AM
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I am so sorry for the loss of your family member. Prayers that God will be with you and through grace you can have some peace.
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  #12  
December 19th, 2012, 04:30 AM
D&K's_mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So sorry to hear of this. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers! This is a very difficult ..cannot imagine what your sister is going thru and your family as well.
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  #13  
December 19th, 2012, 04:45 AM
mommyandwife08's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry your family is going threw this. Your family will be in my prayers.
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  #14  
December 19th, 2012, 05:18 AM
overlinmommy17's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am so sorry to hear this!!! you and your family are in my prayers.
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  #15  
December 19th, 2012, 06:36 AM
enchantingdragon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 6,309
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your family and your sister especially. What a tragedy and so sad and stressful for your whole family during this busy time of the year. Im so so sorry. My heart broke as I read your post.
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  #16  
December 19th, 2012, 06:47 AM
princess136's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Texas
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I will pray for all of you. Such heartbreaking news and I am so sorry this happened.
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  #17  
December 19th, 2012, 06:50 AM
morgankaedenmadisonsmommy's Avatar Beyond Blessed
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  #18  
December 19th, 2012, 07:14 AM
Kalynas_Mom's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am so sorry for your loss. Many prayers to your family and especially your sister
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  #19  
December 19th, 2012, 07:29 AM
phantomsgrl11's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Ardmore, PA
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I am so sorry for your loss =( Gastric bypass surgery is so scary.


My sister is a nurse and they recently lost a mother three hours after giving birth due to complications from her previous gastric bypass surgery.

=(
I know the challenges all too well of being overweight and the sheer negativity you feel all around you to lose the weight. I am so sorry your sister is going through this.
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  #20  
December 19th, 2012, 08:47 AM
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Location: St. Paul MN
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I am so so sorry, that is just beyond awful. I'm so sorry for your poor sister, prayers for your family.
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