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My family has Gender Disappointment :(


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
December 20th, 2012, 12:54 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I really try to be optimistic and cheerful.. Rarely have things to complain about. But here is why I am upset:

We JUST found out yesterday about our new little baby being a little boy and ALREADY I have gotten some really disappointing reactions. It really hurts me. After seeing him and picking his name, I am so protective of him and I feel like my family isn't excited for me anymore since its another boy.

I will admit, it was disheartening at first. Alex really wanted a baby girl, and so did I. I get tired of looking at boy clothes and Gabriel has been a nightmare child recently. Jocelyn is from a previous relationship and Alex always wanted a daughter of his own. And Jocelyn is the only granddaughter on either sides of our family. There will no be 7 boys. We were thinking this would be our last baby because of the risks of multiple c-sections (this will be my 3rd) and I have MS and cant be on therapy while pregnant...

But when I sent out the text about it being a boy, these were the reactions:

"Well, I will just have to love him anyway."--My mom. And she is not a sarcastic, joking type person. And NOTHING ELSE. And I talk to my mom several times a day. We are really close. She didn't even say congrats, or call me like usual.

"I wanted a little girl, but not a granddaughter that is across the country from me." --Alex's mom. (it made me feel like she isnt as disappointed about being so far away from a grandson)

"It is okay, it isn't your fault."--Alex's dad. (I didn't say anything about fault. Just literally said "It's a little boy!"

"We were wrong. I guess we don't have to go shopping together anymore"--My sister (made me feel like this baby doesn't need anything or deserve anything, so why waste the effort).

I am truly devastated. I was so thrilled to just have the opportunity to mother one more little angel on earth and I feel like no one is excited for me anymore....
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JaxonJocelyn Gabriel Grayson and due in September!


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  #2  
December 20th, 2012, 01:00 PM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow. What awful comments!! I'm sorry your family had that reaction! You have every right to be upset and if I were you I'd probably snap back at every one of those people with something just as rude. I'm not saying you should do that, though. I'm a bit of a hot head when it comes to things like that. All that matters is that you and Alex are excited. I hope they all get excited for you and get over that "girl envy". **HUGS**
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  #3  
December 20th, 2012, 01:05 PM
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*hugs* What a terrible reaction!! I'm so sorry!! If that were the reaction I got, I would be a ball of tears right now. Don't let them ruin your excitement!! We're here to be excited for you!! I know I'm excited about your little boy, and slightly jealous you know you're having a boy already, since our due dates are so close together
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  #4  
December 20th, 2012, 01:05 PM
wildchihuahua's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow! That sucks! So sorry for you. HUGS!
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  #5  
December 20th, 2012, 01:06 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks Elise I really appreciate that! I am REALLY not confrontational person, so I didn't say anything. I just cried by myself. I really do need to buck up and learn to tell people to just shut up sometimes lol.

Steph. I am sorry your missed your appointment so you don't know yet but you will soon! Thank you so much though.

You guys are amazing. I at least just feel better getting it off my chest. I was excited no matter the gender! So I will just have to have a party by myself LOL. Hugs back to you all.
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~*Valerie*~
JaxonJocelyn Gabriel Grayson and due in September!



Last edited by MrsLat; December 20th, 2012 at 01:09 PM.
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  #6  
December 20th, 2012, 01:06 PM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
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WOW Those comments are really unsupportive, I can see why you are upset. Maybe you should send them all a text saying How happy you are that you are blessed to be having a healthy baby.
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  #7  
December 20th, 2012, 01:10 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbiejo1982 View Post
WOW Those comments are really unsupportive, I can see why you are upset. Maybe you should send them all a text saying How happy you are that you are blessed to be having a healthy baby.
Good idea. I am going to do just that! And perhaps I will do it on facebook too to avoid future comments!
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  #8  
December 20th, 2012, 01:17 PM
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Good Luck, They should be nothing but happy for you. Even if they were hoping for a girl there are no need for any of those comments!!
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  #9  
December 20th, 2012, 01:49 PM
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I am a firm believer that calling people out on their rudeness makes them better future people.

LOL

Have some basic manners at least!
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  #10  
December 20th, 2012, 02:23 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Wow that is ridiculous!! Omg I would be livid!!! Huge hugs Hun we are thrilled for you!
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  #11  
December 20th, 2012, 03:50 PM
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Ugh, that just really really sucks. I can relate, we got some of the same reactions with our second. And I'm pretty sure this one will be another boy, too. I can definitely be excited about having another boy, but I've already had people in my family getting their hopes up about it being a girl.
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  #12  
December 20th, 2012, 03:52 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyla0709 View Post
Ugh, that just really really sucks. I can relate, we got some of the same reactions with our second. And I'm pretty sure this one will be another boy, too. I can definitely be excited about having another boy, but I've already had people in my family getting their hopes up about it being a girl.
I am sorry I hope you get which ever gender it is you are hoping for! But hey, don't discount a girl unless they show you the penis! It can happen! Wishing you lots of luck!
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  #13  
December 20th, 2012, 04:58 PM
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oh my - Wow. What they said is very hurtful - and they should be ashamed. Chidlren of all genders are such gifts given to us to raise and teach. I must say that I have always wanted a daughter. That said, I have two precious boys. I look into the eyes of my boys and love everything about them. And boys are always so protective of their mothers.
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  #14  
December 20th, 2012, 05:15 PM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That is so ugly . I am excited that you are having. A little boy! Think how awesome the brothers will be together!
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  #15  
December 20th, 2012, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnydaze View Post
I am a firm believer that calling people out on their rudeness makes them better future people.

LOL

Have some basic manners at least!
I totally agree!! I know you said you weren't confrontational, but I think in this case something needs to be said. If you say you're happy to be having a healthy baby, they still may not realize how hurtful their comments were. They need to know how much they hurt you so they can make it up to you!! I'm so sorry!!!

We are all excited for your new little man!! The world can't ever have enough little mama's boys.
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  #16  
December 20th, 2012, 07:14 PM
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Yeah, those comments would've hurt me too. You can be confrontational without being "confrontational", if ya know what I mean. A little sarcasm with a smile. I can see how your moms comment hurt a lot, especially if you talk to her every day and are super close. I'm so sorry.

But YAY for a baby BOY!!! I think that's just wonderful!!!
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  #17  
December 20th, 2012, 07:26 PM
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I would totally say something somehow and not let it slide. Esp with people like my mom. It must get your mama grizzly going!!! How dare they. Seriously. A healthy child is a reason to celebrate, period. And he will be a unique individual with his own personality. Gender is not destiny, this is the modern age, not medieval times. Ah see now I'm ranting... sorry

I am so sorry you are dealing with this
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  #18  
December 20th, 2012, 07:45 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh wow...i also agree on calling people out on their rudeness! I hate how people dont have manners! Personally i think your little boy is adorable as all heck so i know this lil boy is gonna be super adorable too. Also....I was the oldest n only daughter and had two brothers and it was amazing! I never had to worry about my clothes or makeup disappearing! So i think its a win win for both kids. Everyone else can just take their nasty comments n shove em up their rude behinds! And shame on your mom!
Huggggggs hun!
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  #19  
December 20th, 2012, 07:53 PM
MissyBee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I cannot believe your family said those things to you! Especially your mom and sister. I would be so upset if I was you! I am not a confrontational person at all, but I agree that you shouldn't let it slide. Even if you just straight up tell them that it hurt your feelings because the gender of your baby isn't in your control and even if it isn't what they wanted, you are still excited and want them to be as well!

Some of our family is hoping for a girl and others for a boy, but either way they will all be excited when we find out and if anybody says anything negative to me like that, I will probably lose it!

Big hugs... I hope they come around and I am sure they will be over the moon when it's born no matter what!
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  #20  
December 20th, 2012, 07:54 PM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Congratulations on your beautiful and healthy baby boy! What a fantastic blessing! And how wonderful for your older son to have a brother!

I am so sorry that your family was so hurtful. What an awful experience, sucks the life out of the whole thing, I'm sure. I hope they can get over themselves and be excited for you. Shame on all of them.
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