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Preparing for a sibling


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By JadeS
  • 1 Post By MamaSkunk
  • 1 Post By QueenCrafty

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  #1  
December 26th, 2012, 07:10 AM
enchantingdragon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
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How do I prepare my son for this enormous change to his life? He will be newly three when this one is born which is still young in my mind. I was going to buy a few new books about babies in the coming months to read to him to maybe help him with the idea. Our hospital has a sibling class which Im thinking of taking him to, I think its one time or two times I forget now. When it gets closer I was going to take him to Build a Bear (he has never been yet) to build a toy for himself and the new baby. I also got a small gift for him to give the baby when he comes to the hospital. I was also going to buy him a few new toys for after the baby comes home so he is entertained slightly in those early days as well as so he wont get upset if the baby gets some gifts. His birthday is June 4th and baby is due June 24th so he will have passed a birthday as well so hopefully he will still be entertained by his birthday gifts still at that time. Anything else I should be doing to help make this easier for him?
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  #2  
December 26th, 2012, 07:46 AM
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My first two children at 22 months apart. My oldest did not really understand until the baby arrived. I think getting some extra gifts is a perfect idea. When family comes to visit encourage them to greet your first child before coming to the baby. You will find a way to snuggle with your first no matter what. I nursed and my chair fit all three of us I look at my two children now and think I gave them the biggest gift by having them close. (Of course, our new baby will be so much younger).
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  #3  
December 26th, 2012, 07:54 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ive been trying to figure out the same thing myself jasmine. My DD will be 2 years and 7 months when this baby arrives. Ive read her some books and keep trying to tell her theres a baby in mommys tummy. The gift thing is a great idea.
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  #4  
December 26th, 2012, 08:06 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm in the same boat. DD will be 2 yrs 10 mos when this baby is born. We talk about the baby a lot. We have also been buying baby stuff and showing it to her as we talk about it. She has a baby doll she got last Christmas that she is in love with, so yesterday, one of her gifts was a crib for that baby. We practice being sweet to the doll and I'm hoping that if she has her baby, she can imitate me with that while I care for the real baby. I'm a bit concerned with her overly helpful nature, so I'm hoping if she focuses on the doll, she won't be giving the new baby things it can't have when I go to the bathroom. There is also an episode of Sesame Street where Baby Bear has a baby sister. That might help for talking about it if your son is a Sesame Street kid. Other than that, I am flyingby the seat of my pants.
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  #5  
December 26th, 2012, 08:10 AM
JadeS's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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well.. I am wondering about a much older sibling.. my daughter will be 8 once the baby comes.. and so, she has been use to being the only child for that long.. i was just wondering if anyone might have a wide gap between your 1st and 2nd child.. and how did they react once the baby is born..?.. right now she is excited.. and can't wait til her brother or sister get here.. but once he/she is here.. i'm afraid reality will set in for her.. and not be what she is thinking how things will be.. anyone BTDT?
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  #6  
December 26th, 2012, 09:08 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Our oldest 2 are 18 months apart so there was t much preparing there. But when I was pregnant with Everett they were super involved in the whole process. They measured my belly looked for the hb with the Doppler. We talked about him a lot and then they were there when he was born. But it was a little different since we had a homebirth.
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  #7  
December 26th, 2012, 11:23 AM
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I am feeling just as concerned. My daughter is 3 and a half and sometimes she will be sweet about it like rubbing my tummy and talking about baby brother or sister in mommy's tummy but other times I will ask her about the baby in my tummy and tell her to say hi to the baby and she says no mommy it's not a baby brother or sister that's a bad word. I was like :O I really don't know.. I even tried pretending with her baby doll with her and she took the baby doll's pacifier out of it's mouth and took it from me, threw it, and then proceeded to sit in my lap. This should be fun.. I really hope it changes by the time baby gets here!! I may try the gift thing and reading her books about siblings coming! thanks
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  #8  
December 26th, 2012, 03:01 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JadeS View Post
well.. I am wondering about a much older sibling.. my daughter will be 8 once the baby comes.. and so, she has been use to being the only child for that long.. i was just wondering if anyone might have a wide gap between your 1st and 2nd child.. and how did they react once the baby is born..?.. right now she is excited.. and can't wait til her brother or sister get here.. but once he/she is here.. i'm afraid reality will set in for her.. and not be what she is thinking how things will be.. anyone BTDT?
Jade I think your DD will be ok. Shes excited. I was the same age when my brother was born. I was super excited and since I was old enough to be more involved it helped us be close. Make sure to involve her lots with the baby and itll pay off. Me and that bro are insanely close to this day.
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  #9  
December 27th, 2012, 08:39 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Lily was 2 when Abri was born, but she acted a lot older and understood more about new babies. It helped that my sister had just had a baby 4 months before I had Abri. One thing we did when Lily came to the hospital, we had gotten her a gift that was from Abri. We called it her big sister present. It wasn't anything big, but I think it helped her start off on the right foot- this new baby gave me something instead of taking away things. Abri was also a really difficult baby, plus DH was working two jobs at the time. My dad would come over in the evening to hold Abri so that I could get Lily ready for bed and read a bedtime story to her. She still got some one on one time with me without interruption.
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  #10  
December 27th, 2012, 10:43 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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I think what you've planned to do so far is great. Honestly, we've never gone out of our way to prepare the kids for another sibling, just answering their questions, involving them with preparation, whatever seems appropriate at the time.
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  #11  
December 27th, 2012, 01:30 PM
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My DD will be just turned 2 when this one arrives. I have already been talking to her about a baby in my tummy and encouraging her when she plays with her stuffed animals like babies. I will pin a diaper on one and we will cuddle it and stuff. She says "baby" a lot and seems fascinated by real babies but also talks about how she is a baby when she wants to cuddle, etc. I think I will get her a baby doll with a doll carrier, etc closer to my due date. I will be also talk more and more specifically about the baby coming when I have more of a belly. I want her to feel like an important helper and little mommy herself when the baby comes.

My parents did not do much to prepare me for my little brother (2 years apart) and I was horrified when he arrived and it was not a good transition, by all accounts I have heard. On the other hand my SIL was heavily prepared for my DH's arrival, had a doll, was really excited for a baby, etc and they have loads of cute family stories and pics of how she doted on him. Of course we all have fine relationships as older kids and adults, I am not worried about the long term but just about having as happy a transition as possible for M.

For an older kid I think you can do a lot just talking about it with them, involving them in decisions like picking out baby clothes, maybe even bring them to the anatomy scan. When I was 8 I would have thought that was the coolest thing ever
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