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So if you have read any of my posts, you'll know that I have recently had to move back to my parents house while my husband is overseas. And it SUCKS. My father is the most miserable, racist, mental, unhappy, self centered JERK in the world. He doesn't even SPEAK to me and my mother most days, and he has never once asked me anything about this pregnancy, how I am feeling, how I am doing since my husband is gone, or how doctor's appointments go. I told him I enrolled in school, and he didn't even ask me what for! He just nodded and left the room! He is a grouch from the time he wakes up in the morning until he comes home from work and goes to bed. He gives off such a negative vibe that it rubs off on me and makes ME unhapppy. He is also a drug addict and takes vicodin and xanax all day long. On days he doesn't go to work he spends them in bed sleeping because he claims he is so sick and so tired and doesn't know why (uh duh! those are both sedative like drugs!). He walks around clutching his stomach and doubling over claiming he is in so much pain and so sick to his stomach. My mom finally convinced him after months to go to the doctor and get checked out. So he went and had all these blood tests and tests for cancer and guess what, they all came back 100% normal. And he was disappointed! I've never know anybody that WANTS to be sick. He just wants everybody to feel sorry for him. But how can you feel sorry for someone who walks around moaning and groaning, basically begging for sympathy, when you have a doctor's clean bill of health? So my mother confronted him about maybe his problems were in his mind, and he should go see a psychiatrist. Maybe he's one of those hypochondriacs you know? And his reaction? Pick up a plate and shatter it against the wall because he was so enraged. Real nice home environment. Just like last night, my sister and I went to see Django Unchained (amazing movie btw, if you are open minded) and when I was telling my mom about it, he walks in the room and starts yelling about what a racist horrible movie it was and how it's all about killing white people and blah blah blah. And I told him that I loved it, because I don't think of things that way. And he breaks a door! I mean my God, he is a 62 years old man and can't grow up.
And this house is NEVER clean. There's always clutter on the counters. spilled food and drink that doesnt get cleaned up, I basically have to disinfect the kitchen before I want to eat in it. They have 6 dogs (7 incuding mine) and they bark, and bark, and howl, and scream, and pee and poop everywhere. I get violently awakened every morning at 6:30am by all of them going crazy to go outside. This is no place for a newborn. If I lived here with the baby, it would pretty much never be able to leave my bedroom (being the only clean and redone room in the house). I wouldn't even feel comfortable making a bottle in the kitchen, I wouldn't be able to sit on the floor with baby or give it tummy time for fear of all these dogs around. And, my father keeps loaded guns EVERYWHERE!!! I don't even feel safe half the time, especially when he's having a bad day. And my mother refuses to separate or divorce him because in the state of Illinois you split the assets in half. So I guess money is more important to her than her happiness. I've also asked them to give up a few of the dogs (the non potty trained ones at least!) to a rescue, and they get angry with me! It's like their daughter and her unborn child don't measure up to a bunch of stupid dogs! That really is like a slap in the face.
So I have decided that come March, when winter is ending, and I only have to commute to school twice a week, I am moving to my mother in law's. I just can't deal with this. I know it will break my mother's heart, but I have to think about what is best for me and my child. I can't live in a dirty house with miserable people, with 7 dogs, and my baby. It's just not right. That's the type of things that gets your children taken away from you and I am NOT putting us in that situation. She has a HUGE house that is always spotless, NO DOGS, and it's so peaceful and quiet there all the time. It's perfect for the baby, and for studying. I feel horrible that I am leaving my mother but, she chooses to stay in a situation and be unhappy. I'm not going to sacrifice my happiness and my child's safety because I feel bad for her.
Thanks for reading, so sorry it was so long!!! Love you ladies.