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BTDT moms share unexpected things about birth with new moms (and helpful tips)


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #21  
January 3rd, 2013, 04:31 PM
edgeofelise's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Seattle, WA
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You will turn into a monkey. Meaning, if you let yourself, you'll get totally sucked into the process and will not care about who sees you naked, who's in the room, whether or not you poop, etc. Just go with it; your body is amazing at finding its own groove in labor.

When I took classes for DD's birth I was nervous that I would forget all the breathing and stuff we learned. I totally did not need those classes. You'll figure out exactly what you need and it'll likely change during different phases of labor.

Oh! And when you feel those first few contractions, you'll know it's real. Try to eat something with a lot of protein and SLEEP while you're in early labor. You probably won't want (or be able to, if you're in the hospital) to eat later on and you'll need the energy. I pounded a giant cheeseburger in early labor and I was sooooo glad I did; I couldn't eat a thing after that other than liquid soup and my labor lasted 60 hours.

It's really not as scary as it seems if you can let go of your fears.
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  #22  
January 3rd, 2013, 04:32 PM
terese81's Avatar Veteran
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I didn't want ANYONE in the delivery room except my husband, because I didn't want anyone to see my girl parts. Truth was, my husband's dad could have been in the room, and I would have cared less! All I wanted was to get the baby out!
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  #23  
January 3rd, 2013, 04:44 PM
safarilime's Avatar Super Mommy
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The first couple days, use the little squirt bottle they give you, fill it with cold water and spray your self while your pee'ing. It takes away the pain and burn. Use your boppy to sit on and when your pushing its going to feel like ur pooping out a pumpkin, that's the right push lol.
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  #24  
January 3rd, 2013, 05:49 PM
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i love this thread!

yes the "massaging of the uterus" was just as painful as labor for me. ugh. but it's temporary, as is labor - just keep your eye on the prize! obviously labor hurts but it's worth it. as they say, if it was so bad women wouldn't be having any more babies!

as for my advice -
*if you plan on breastfeeding bring a boppy pillow to the hospital with you. i didnt and bf'ing using hospital pillows to prop up my son was just annoying. and i remember i was always freezing there so bring your own blankets too! (you can request more there too tho but they seemed so thin)
*if you are having a son and are NOT having him circumcised TELL EVERYONE lol, i told my obgyn and pediatricition we were choosing not to but i can't tell you how many drs/nurses just assumed we were! even those we told had come back later and were like 'now did he get circ'ed?' ***i know that's a controversial topic and i'm not trying to start anything, just sharing my experience!!***
*have a birth plan but know some things may not always go exactly as planned and that's okay!

hope that helps
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  #25  
January 3rd, 2013, 07:04 PM
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Location: Cincinnati, OH
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Early Labor:

*As much as you want to start calling people and screaming about how it is starting and then drive like a maniac to the hospital right away DON'T. You can make an appt. with your doctor who will confirm you're in labor and check your progress. THEN GO HOME. Or go see a movie. Rest, EAT, shower. I had an induction and I would have KILLED to have done all those hours in the comfort of my own home.

*Take the warning as a chance to do something nice for yourself. Like, paint your toenails so you have something pretty to look at while you push. Do the 100 brush strokes in your hair. Light some candles, play some soft music, dim the lights and meditate. Calm before the storm.

Active Labor (?)

*You're in the hospital, the contractions are hard and fast (if you're going natural) and none of your techniques are working. **** the techniques, lol. Do whatever it is that will make you feel better. If that's doing squats, kicking pillows, walking in circles, singing...whatever. I had an induction but my epidural fell out and they didn't realize that was what was wrong with me for TWO HOURS. I was screaming like a banshee and the only thing that helped me cope was to grab the bars on the side of my bed, scream, and push against the bottom of my bed as hard as I could.

*If you have an epidural and you are feeling a build up of pain 1) Ask them to check if the baby's head is coming out and if "no" then 2) Tell them to FIX YOUR EPIDURAL. Don't wait for them to figure it out.

*Ask them to explain EVERYTHING. Every time they check you or look at the computer screen ask them to tell you everything.

Labor:

*If you went natural the pain WILL be lessening. It will feel SUPER AWESOME to push. My epidural wore out just before I was instructed to push. I felt every last thing, including the tear. Pushing was incredibly satisfying. The tear hurt but not how one would imagine a tear would feel. Honestly, once it stopped I didn't feel it again until the doctor tried to stitch me up again and I had to tell him to stop, lol.

*You will NOT notice if you poo. You won't. If you do no one will say anything to you about it. Tell anybody you wanted in the room with you to not say anything either.

*Make sure to tell the nurses who you want to help you to push and who shouldn't. I had NO idea that they would enlist my husband and my mother to hold my legs up during the 33 minutes of pushing. My Mom's hands/arms have nerve damage but she was so surprised (and I was so out of it) that she didn't think to object. As a result, it hurt to hold her grandchild. Because my husband was holding up one of my legs he couldn't be responsive to my needs or desire for guidance. Also, when people get excited/distracted by awesome events they have a tendency to DROP the things they're holding :\ For this child I will be insisting on some sort of leg holder that I can put pressure against, people holding up my legs really wasn't helping :\

Birth:

*This is really where your birth plan becomes LAW. You can't control much about your labor if there are things to be addressed but you can control what happens with your child as long as they're healthy. Make sure that everyone knows what is expected to happen to your child right after the birth. If you want 30 minutes of skin time or nursing time be vocal about it. If you want the vernix rubbed in, decline a bath.

*While you're enjoying your baby your lady parts will still be up in the air. You won't notice. In fact, you will most likely be 100% nude. It's all good. If eventually do become aware of your nudity and exposure and become uncomfortable just politely ask the nurse if there is any way you can get some cover. They'll do it.

Post-Partum

*Appoint someone to be the guardian of the food. If the cafeteria will close before you know the baby will be out (I was pushing when it closed ) make sure that person knows to make a run for it to get you something to eat. If that's not possible then that person will be expected to leave the hospital and get you something to eat. The point is, once you've had your time of personal loving with the baby you WILL BE STARVING. The whole time my baby was being washed I was scarfing down food.

*Yeah, the nurse "massage" is the worst of it, lol.

*Pack fiber tablets and stool softeners.

*Steal as many mesh undies and pads as you can.

*Try to sleep. Amazingly, you won't feel like it. But the baby is enjoying rest time for hours at a time, you should too.

*Soak your stitches!
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  #26  
January 3rd, 2013, 07:32 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Dang Merin pretty much summed up a bunch of Labor and Delivery n postpartum FTMs
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  #27  
January 3rd, 2013, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful2BMommy View Post
Pooping while pushing is a big fear!
I was worried about it too! I ended up peeing all over my dr with my 1st push bhaaahaaa!! She took cover pretty quick. I had no idea until DH told me later... we laugh about it now
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  #28  
January 3rd, 2013, 08:49 PM
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The "massaging" (aka pushing as hard as they can) of the uterus is in my opinion worse than labor...I swear the nurses take out all their aggression during that moment! haha. The good thing is you will forget about all the pain as soon as that little miracle is in your arms Remember you are a ROCK STAR you just gave birth!

**TAKE BATHS OFTEN after giving birth as they instruct you to do, if not if feels like your crotch is going to fall out.

ok that is my 2 cents, the other ladies put it all out there nicely!
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  #29  
January 3rd, 2013, 08:52 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Oh my water broke during pushing with Everett. It exploded all over my midwife it was quite hilarious.
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  #30  
January 4th, 2013, 06:09 AM
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Ditto about the pushing on your uterus thing. My nurse didn't even warn me. I was looking over anxiously at Alex while he was screaming away under the heat lamp while the nurses checked him out and she just started jamming her fingers down. I screamed at her and told her to stop, and she looked at me, a little bit sorry and told me she had too. She told me I could bleed out if she didn't. So suck it up, it sucks, but it has to happen.

Like, haven't I been through enough? I thought I was done!

Your lady bits are on display. Not only are you spread eagle with a giant spotlight coming from the wall to your crotch, but everyone and their fckn mother are feeling around down there every 30 minutes.

Your body will probably take over. It will push when it wants to, not when the Dr's tell it too. My Dr asked me not to push so he could give me an episiomty (spelling im sure) and I couldn't NOT push. He dropped his tool and caught the baby and I tore myself to ****.

Also, when you first start feeling the urgency to push...it feels like you need to take the biggest dump of your life, really bad, right this second.

Honestly, I don't know if I pooped and frankly, I'm okay with not knowing for the rest of my life.

I had so many stitches down there, I was afraid to poop afterwards. The sits bath is obnoxious, real baths rock, and love the waterbottle they give you to clean up with after you pee or whatever. treat yourself and use warm water LOL I used cold the first few times and was like "why am i doing this?"

Also, I refused to look at my mangled vagina. I was an emotional mess and the idea that I broke my lady bits would of sent me over the edge. I didn't want to see it like that. A couple weeks afterwards, I begged my best friend to look at it for me and tell me if it was a horrific mess or not, and she dutifully told me it was fine.

Do NOT rush to the hospital the second you go into labor. Stay home where you can be the most comfortable and EAT. THEY WILL NOT FEED YOU WHILE YOU ARE IN LABOR.

I went into labor at 930am, visiting my doc around 11am, and went to the hospital around 4pm and gave birth at 831pm.

DO NOT let people who can't handle it in the room with you. DON'T DO IT. I know you love them and they love you. But they are of NO USE to you if they hide in the bathroom and scream the hail mary for 2 hours straight. (My grandmother). I love God just as much of the next girl but I felt like it was an excorcism going on for all the praying my grandmother was screaming. Let those people pace the waiting room.

Men who have grown up on a farm and actively participated in the birth of farm animals have the capacity to pass out on the floor watching your baby hatch stretch to capacity to give birth. I don't care how tough they think they are. I kept my husband by my head the whole time.

The Dr warned him if he passed out, he would be ignored and stepped around until the baby was born because he didn't have time for that. I know my husband has a problem with passing out though when under a lot of stress. I wasn't risking it.

After you give birth. Move around as much as possible. Walk, push your baby up and down the halls. DO NOT LIE IDLE. The faster you move, the quicker you'll recover and faster you can get the heck out of the hospital and its uncomfortable beds and bothersome nurses.

People will visit, you will look like crap....or like you just had a baby.

Bring your own socks, and nightgown, and this may sound weird, but wear your husband's underwear if you don't like the mesh ones, they are like, super comfortable and you can fit alot of pad in them.

Give your husband jobs, tell him what to do. Mine needed this. he needed to feel like he was doing something productive to help me or he would worry himself to death.

I didn't really need ice chips...but I knew he really needed to get them for me.

Ill post more later.
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  #31  
January 4th, 2013, 06:24 AM
hilachu's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Clean out the drawers in the little baby cart
take everything home, pads, underwear, diapers, ointments, shirts EVERYTHING
I brought my own pajamas but never wore them
it was just easier to wear the hospital gown, a robe would be good though
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  #32  
January 4th, 2013, 09:36 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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If you record it on video....do not I repeat do not watch it for 3 months. Your brain is specially made to deal with the trauma of childbirth...as far as the helping you forget some of the pain of it...i mean you will remember but you wont remember it in such detail that youll never want to have another baby....theyve found that watching your own birth video too soon...it messes with that natural process.
Secondly remember that contractions as painful as they are arent meant to be painful...they are your body working...working on getting that baby down and out. Work with your own body thinking of it as a little of work (yep the hard labor kind) But all work does come to an end. It wont last forever even though you may think it does. But at the end of the work instead of a paycheck you get the absolute best prize ever...your own child. So while your working with your body...keep your eye on the prize...dont fight against the contractions...work with them. Doing this helped me do an med free natural delivery. (My mom and my gran both told me this advice and they both had quick labors by doing this and sitting up as much as possible.)
Also...average first birth takes about 12 hours...so dont delude yourself to hoping yours may be quick. This time could be less or more. (The more fit you are the easier things will be...haha an incentive to keep exercising while preg ladies!)
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  #33  
January 4th, 2013, 12:11 PM
Kalynas_Mom's Avatar Super Mommy
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This is just 3 personal things from me:

Getting your cervix checked hurts more than contractions. I wish I would have known that.

Contractions don't feel like "period cramps" like the books tell you. It feels like something overtakes your entire body and turns your stomach into a rock. For most there is a break inbetween so just remember when its done you can breathe for a few minutes and relax again.

Also, and i'm going to give way TMI here but don't be scared if after delivery when you go to the washroom it feels like your insides are falling out. I kept trying to pee and I actually had to hold my lady bits while I was peeing because I was POSITIVE my entire uterus was coming out.

I was a little hesitant to start pushing because I was scared of pooping (because it feels like you are anyway with all the pressure). Once I stopped caring I pushed DD out in 6 minutes (and no I didn't go to the washroom!)
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  #34  
January 4th, 2013, 12:25 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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I'm the opposite I love and still love looking at the pictures of my babies coming out. I looked at Everett's the next day. And I felt so accomplished
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  #35  
January 4th, 2013, 12:46 PM
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I had a scheduled c section so I have nothing to add as far as labor. I will tell you I had no idea how my milk coming in would hit me. When I was finally able to take a shower, I went in the bathroom and all of the sudden the pressure on my chest took my breath away. I seriously thought I was having a heart attack. I also got up as soon as I could and moved around and ended up getting to go home early. I agree to take everything you can. Also I had to tell the hospital staff NUMEROUS times I didn'twant to use a pacifier if it wasn't necessary. They will often pop it in if the baby isn't even fussing.
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  #36  
January 4th, 2013, 01:51 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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[QUOTE=dmreed32;26935736]I had a scheduled c section so I have nothing to add as far as labor. I will tell you I had no idea how my milk coming in would hit me. When I was finally able to take a shower, I went in the bathroom and all of the sudden the pressure on my chest took my breath away. I seriously thought I was having a heart attack. I also got up as soon as I could and moved around and ended up getting to go home early. I agree to take everything you can. Also I had to tell the hospital staff NUMEROUS times I didn'twant to use a pacifier if it wasn't necessary. They will often pop it in if the baby isn't even

Oh man milk coming in is fun! Oh and your colostrum will come in before you have your baby don't be alarmed its normal.
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  #37  
January 4th, 2013, 01:56 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh and when your milk comes in....dont be surprised if you squirt baby in the face especially if they are crying lol. I had crap for supply and I still managed to squirt DD in the face once when she woke up fussing(we did alot of skin to skin in the first month as well as co-sleeping)
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  #38  
January 4th, 2013, 02:57 PM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Also, if you are going to breastfeed, it will cause you to cramp for the first couple of weeks. It is normal and is actually your uterus going back to it's normal size of a walnut.
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  #39  
January 4th, 2013, 03:01 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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^^ and that gets worse with each baby! Omg #3 brought tears to my eyes. I'm not looking forward to #4!
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  #40  
January 4th, 2013, 03:01 PM
BeccaMenk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Great tips ladies! Yeah the first bms after birth were terrible...i had to use mirilax because colace was useless. Also enemas were helpful.

Ditto about dont give in to anything you are not comfortable with! Dont be afraid to tell your nurse to be quiet lol if she is over opinionated like one of mine was!

I think birth plans are okay but i dont really expect much from them aside from no shots for baby and stuff that cant change. I learned quickly that anything can happen. Just go with the moments.

My ds was a terrible birth....he was turned and i ended up with foreceps. I was shocked when i had to choose foreceps or csection...so know your options in any situation before hand and do what YOU think is best. Dont let anyone control you! Even though it was terribly painful and i was sore for months...my sweet boy is worth it all!
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