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Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #21  
January 9th, 2013, 10:14 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 379
My parents seperated the day after their 20th wedding anniversary. I was 19, my bro 16, my sister 14. They tried things out for about six months then divorced. My mom met someone else about a year later and they moved in together and are still together six years later. My dad met his wife in June of 2010. And they were married in April of 2011.

My parents as I say are HAPPILY divorced.

Their communication was absolute ****. Once they got to the point where they put each other down so bad and said things they couldn't take back it just festered. I'm amazed it made 20 yrs.

My brother and I have both been effected similarly as in we know its for the best but overall it's unfortunate. We are glad they can do birthdays Christmas etc all together.

My sister and I'm not sure if its because of her age ( you couldn't pay be to be 14 again) acts like are parents should hate each other, is ridiculously rude to our mom(because she Found a SO sooner) and acts like both parents OWE her something. She is in a bad place. 20 years old living with a 38 yr old controlling ******* deadbeat dad who has 4 kids (one that is 18 only 2 years younger than sister) and three little girls that his wife took away from him and he is not slowed to see due to abuse charges. They live together, sleep together etc but he won't date her. So she is an idiot who is being used!! Not that this is how i tell her!! I need to stay in her life.. He has cut so many others out of hers already!

my sister is just a tad bit of a drama queen and always has been. I just hope she gets out before something serious happens!!
Also that she realizes SHE determines her own happiness not our mom and dad. But she hasn't seemed to caught onto that yet.
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  #22  
January 9th, 2013, 10:32 PM
Rochelle
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Floor-ree-dah
Posts: 3,388
They've been married for 31 yrs now. I've seen my mom take a lot of crap from my dad and it has taught me to speak up when things aren't fair. DH's mom and step-dad have been married for 28ish yrs and DH is very adamant that we never divorce. I don't feel that my parents relationship has impacted my decision to stick it through with DH. I think it's just from weighing the pros and cons of a separation that has lead me to the point and I am today marriage-wise. DH is a superb father compared to mine. Mine is infatuated with my mom and never cared about me. Well, I guess in that sense their marriage has made me more likely to stick around but not bc they've been together so long but bc I couldn't bare to separate my kids from a good dad when I never had that. I love DH but it's true we've had some really rough times. Things are mostly better now though.
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  #23  
January 10th, 2013, 07:24 AM
bribugg13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 1,631
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My parents are in a very unhealthy marriage, should have been divorced ages ago. My Mom was co-dependent for many years, my dad is an alcoholic. There was a lot of screaming, cussing, fighting, etc. growing up (and still is today, just not as much). I'm really worried about the impact it will have on Connor living here for the next few months, but keep telling myself it's only temporary.
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  #24  
January 10th, 2013, 07:48 AM
SassySami's Avatar Crunchy mama
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,078
My mom and sperm donor divorced before I was 1. My sperm donor is a piece of work, trying killing me and my mom.

My mom married my wonderful step dad in 1987. My mom got breast cancer in Feb 1994 and passed away 3 weeks later, I then went to live with my grandparents. I was 10 when she died.

My grandmother, had buried a monster in my mind about my step dad. Just tell August 2011, I had never had a relationship with my step dad. Now I love him just like I use too and he treats my children, like they are his grandbabies.

In 2006, I got some wild fly up my butt to go and find my sperm donor. Oh what a mess that was, I'm pretty out spoken and wanted answer. He never gave me answers. He treated my girls like crap, so I cut him out of my life and it is for the best. He finally meet Nolan when he was 18 months, at my nephews party.
In meeting my dad, I found my amazing aunt and uncle, cousins and siblings. That was the best part of finding my sperm donor.

My grandparents would have been married 52 this September, but my Grandma passed away in 2009. Their relationship was very strange, they slept in separate rooms for as long as I can remember, I only remember them kissing 1 time. My grandma got very bitter, in her life. My grandpa loved her, you could see it in his eyes but my grandma was not in love anymore. She use to tell me, if divorce was cheap it would have happened. Not sure why her life was so bad, my grandpa took care of her.

I do not have a great steady stream of marriages in my life. The only one is my Aunt and Uncle and they have been married since 1962. They are argue but love each other.
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Sami, married to Joe, mama to Debra (9), Kaydence (7), Nolan (2) and Jarek born 6/26/2013, unassisted at home






Last edited by SassySami; January 10th, 2013 at 07:55 AM.
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  #25  
January 10th, 2013, 11:13 AM
enchantingdragon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,309
My parents were separated or divorced I have no idea still since my parents are secretive and weird. My father passed away in Sept so Ill never know now I guess since my mother has never told me and changes it when she talks sometimes. Tey got divorced when I was in college and my dad moved back to Taiwan with his family. I dont really know if it impacted me since when they were together they fought a lot (my dad had a gambling problem) I miss my dad is all I really know these days and while I love my mom she drives me nuts (she is 5 minutes away)
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  #26  
January 10th, 2013, 11:38 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 528
my parents have been married for over 30 years and they have a really strong love and strong bond. They still go on dates, they have hobbies together, my dad takes care of everyone and still let's my mom be the queen.. I am so happy for them and I want to do my best to provide an amazing childhood for my children and to build their confidence and nurture their talents. My parents had me in everything from dance, cheerleading, figure skating, softball, gymnastics, to soccer, to swimming/diving, to modeling/theater, choir, etc. I NEVER felt pressures it was all fun and amazing. They also supported me on studying in Germany for my senior year of high school. They gave me a lot of tools to be open-minded and accept people for who they are. I hope I can be half as supportive to my kids. Don't get me wrong, there are ups and downs to every family life, the good just overshadows any negativity for me.
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  #27  
January 10th, 2013, 04:53 PM
Joanne Nicole's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 1,037
My parents divorced when I was 5. They both had several short marriages that didn't work out. My mum is on her 5th marriage and my dad is on his 4th. However, they've both been married to their current spouses for the last 16 years. My dad has a wonderful marriage, but my mom's marriage is awful. The only reason they stay together is because she doesn't want to be alone and thinks she's too old to get married (again).

The marriages and divorces definitely had an impact on me, and not in a good way. There were physically and sexually abusive step-dads along the way, and my dad was absent in my life until I was a teenager. Because of how all this messed me up - daddy issues, depression, etc. - it has made for some interesting times in my marriage. Thankfully I have an amazing and supportive husband who knows and helps me through the tough times.
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  #28  
January 10th, 2013, 05:28 PM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,066
Both my parents are divorced. My mom is still with my step dad but my dad is with wife #3. DH's parents are also divorced. It makes me respect my marriage and want to make it work that much more!
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  #29  
January 10th, 2013, 08:39 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,612
My parents divorced shortly before my 2nd birthday. I never remember them together so it's all I've ever known. My dad married my stepmom when I was 5 and they just celebrated their 21st anniversary. They are perfect for each other and it makes me happy to see just how happy they are after this long. My mom married her 2nd husband when I was 6. He was abusive to her and molested me for years. They divorced when I was 12. My mom married my stepdad when I was 14 and they have been married for 12 years now. They are also pretty great together. My only complaint is they bicker in front of my brothers and sisters. It's not anything major they bicker about, just my preference that they do it in private.

All this has greatly affected my relationship with DF. It's all honestly a big factor as to why we have kids together but are not married yet. It's not that I don't want to marry him, just afraid of divorce I guess. Also, I've learned that just because you are married doesn't mean your relationship will be loving or healthy. We have a wonderful relationship and I don't necessarily feel like I need a piece of paper to prove that.
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