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Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
January 23rd, 2013, 07:35 AM
dmreed32's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 435
I have had numerous people who have found out that I lost one of the babies come up to me and say I must be relieved. They literally say well I guess it is actually a good thing because who wants two? Why would they say that??? I try to calmly tell them while twins would've been difficult, once I knew there was two why would I want there to then be one??? I end up bawling (and it is always at work) which I hope makes them feel like an ***. I just can't understand why that would be something anyone would say? Am I being oversensitive??
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  #2  
January 23rd, 2013, 07:39 AM
Hopeful2BMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,256
Who would think it's okay to say that, or to feel that way!?

I'm sorry people can be really mean.
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  #3  
January 23rd, 2013, 07:54 AM
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You're not being oversensitive, they're being extremely rude and mean. I'm sorry that you have to go through this! Some people need to learn to have some tact.
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  #4  
January 23rd, 2013, 07:55 AM
morgankaedenmadisonsmommy's Avatar Beyond Blessed
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Location: Tennessee
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  #5  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:00 AM
D&K's_mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow I cant understand why anyone would say that!!! Very rude for one and heartless!!!
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  #6  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:05 AM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,743
Wow, you have every right to be upset. That is about the rudest, most insensitive thing people could say. I would practice a really good zinger of a come back to say to those people and keep it handy.

My miscarriage was about the same time a co-worker was diagnosed with breast cancer. She and I decided we are going to write a book "The stupid **** people say under duress and how to respond"
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  #7  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:14 AM
rcjh12's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,008
I had a friend who went through the same thing, and I wanted to smack people for her! I will never understand some people.
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  #8  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:27 AM
kit.kat.81's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 417
What the @#$%*?!?!? What is wrong with people?! You are NOT being overly sensitive, they are being grade-A $h!theads.
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  #9  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:30 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow. That's horrible! I'm sorry people are so tactless!
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  #10  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:32 AM
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you have every right to be upset! that's horrible to say to someone. i'm sure they mean well but and probably just don't know what to say but still, that's very hurtful *hugs*
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  #11  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:35 AM
safarilime's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 527
wow i am sorry.
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  #12  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:37 AM
Super Mommy
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Location: St. Paul MN
Posts: 773
Aww geez. How do you refrain from slapping those buttholes? Seriously, I would outright tell them that's a very cruel thing to say, and I'm a very non-confrontational person.
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  #13  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:39 AM
Rochelle
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Floor-ree-dah
Posts: 3,388
I have no words... that is truly insensitive. I'm so sorry.
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  #14  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:42 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 107
Wow! That's is AWFUL!
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  #15  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:45 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Minneapolis
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Nope your not being oversensitive Dawn hun. People are just very rude. My friend also lost a twin during her last pregnancy and she also had similar comments from people at work and even her own family!!! If I was around her when that happened Id always respond to people with one of two comments "So you have two parents would you want one to die just cuz they sometimes make your life challenging?" Or " So you have more than one child would you want one to die because they make your life challenging?" Everyone always said a shocked reply of NO!!! To which I would say...then why do you think she would be relieved or even remotely happy about the loss of a twin?!!? And then id usually call them an idiot and we would walk away.
Soooo maybe you could say something like that. Too many people in this world dont know how to use manners or tact. And I agree with kat on the stupid crap that people say! Its ridiculous!
Big hugs hun.
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  #16  
January 23rd, 2013, 09:00 AM
Kalynas_Mom's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 830
I think that a horrific and terrible thing to say and I can't imagine who in their right mind would open their mouth and say something like that. I hope they feel like absolute moronic A holes for thinking that was even close to appropriate. So sorry anyone has said that to you
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  #17  
January 23rd, 2013, 09:07 AM
Karen78's Avatar 2nd time around :)
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,273
OMG!! That's like saying to a woman who was pregnant with just one baby "you must be glad you miscarried. Babies are expensive". What the F is wrong with people!!! So sorry, mama. Hugs.
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  #18  
January 23rd, 2013, 09:16 AM
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It is hard to imagine anyone would be insensitive enough to say that. They are so wrong to speak such words. They deserve to feel horrible for such comments.
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  #19  
January 23rd, 2013, 09:53 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
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That's horrifying. Would you go to someone who lost a child and say "Hey, at least that's one less you have to worry about paying for college"? Terrible. Hopefully the word will go around now and people will leave you alone. You can never go wrong with saying "I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do." Sure it sounds scripted but at least it's not insensitive.
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  #20  
January 23rd, 2013, 10:01 AM
cheerfulsunrise's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: South Carolina
Posts: 640
I don't think you are being overly sensitive. People say awful things without even thinking. I'm sorry you have to hear that! Hugs!
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