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Ladies, I need some advice. My SIL is hosting my baby shower and asked me for a guest list. I really want a co-ed shower. I'm not one for the cutsy games, and I honestly just want an informal get together with friends and family. I have 2 issues that I am having a hard time figuring out.
1. Do I send invites to family that lives out-of-state, knowing they can't come? I don't want to come across like I just want gifts, but I also don't want to make anyone feel left out.
2. I emailed my list to my SIL, which was 12 people total (not including SIL or her DH). She replied "that's it?" I don't want to leave people out, but I get really funny when it comes to inviting people to something where it's "implied" that they bring a gift. KWIM? I had the same issue with the list for my bridal shower. To me a shower screams "buy me something." So what's your rule of thumb when it comes to invites?
What about making a special "invitation" for out of state folks - you could send everyone a little announcement for the shower saying you wish they could be there but understand they're too far away, and include a small, blank postcard with postage and ask them to write a message for the baby and send it back in lieu of a gift - that way it's sort of like they get to attend in some way, and you could gather the postcards and include them with the photos and mementos from the shower so that those people who are out of state get to give baby their love and thoughts even if they can't be there. And if you're asking them to send a message of love instead of a gift it's guilt free for you, too.
I always mail invites to people even though I know they will not be coming. My SIL never comes to my kids birthday parties nor does she invite us to her kids but we always send an invite. Just in case she decides to pull her panties out of her butt and come.