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MOTW- ashleykathleen *updated w/ day 3* PIC HEAVY!


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
February 14th, 2013, 03:26 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,612
Day 1: Early Life

I was born and raised in Norman, Oklahoma (home of the University of Oklahoma Sooners!). My mom was 18 and my dad was 20 when I was born. They got married when my mom got pregnant (bad idea and a big reason why I didn't get married when I got pregnant with DD). They were young and immature and my dad was an alcoholic so, needless to say, they got divorced. I was about 18 months old so I have no memories of my parents ever being together. After my parents split, my dad did too. He got really into drinking heavily and basically doing anything but being a dad. My mom and I moved in with my grandparents and they helped raise me for several years while my mom struggled through being a single mom and going to college. My grandparents lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere in Oklahoma. We had all sorts of animals: horses, cows, sheep, goats, chickens, dogs, cats, etc. I believe my upbringing here is where I developed my love and obsession with animals. I absolutely loved spending time with my Papa and he would let me tag along with him to do all his daily chores around the farm. He was really my only father figure during those early years.

While my mom was going to college, she met someone. She says she was lonely and scared doing everything on her own and here came this guy who was super nice and didn't mind that she had a kid already, so they started dating when I was about 3-4. Flash forward a few years and they got married when I was 6 years old. We moved out my grandparents house and into a little house with my new step-dad. It was around this time that he started molesting me. This would continue for several years until I was about 11. Also, during this time, my step-dad started abusing my mom. It was because of this that I refused to tell my mom what he was doing to me. I was deathly afraid of what would happen to my mom if I told. During their marriage, my mom gave birth to a boy and girl when I was 9 and 11. Both were the product of rape and would effect my mom psychologically for years. Despite what she was dealing with, my mom was always very loving and never let us go without. I could always pick up on her true feelings and stresses I believe because I was dealing with similar issues. Because of this, I feel we have a weird unspoken bond that no one else will ever truly understand.

When I was 6, my dad also remarried. Around this time, probably thanks to my step-mom, he started wanting to be part of my life again. It wasn't anything major but I guess some contact is better than none looking back. At the time, I really didn't know him and I never wanted to go visit him but I did without complaint just to get away from my step-dad. My dad and step-mom had 3 kids together when I was 6, 9, and 11. I absolutely loved being a big sister and having so many siblings. I started spending the entire summers with my dad as we got closer and things at my mom's got crazier. Eventually, the summer between my 5th and 6th grade years, I told my mom and dad everything that had been happening for years. It was then decided for me that I would live with my dad and step-mom. At that point, my mom filed charges against my step-dad, got a restraining order, and left him. Their divorce would be drug out and ugly for almost year until he was finally convicted of sexual assault of a minor and sentenced to 10 years in prison. My mom ended up remarrying her best friend when I was 13 and they had a daughter together when I was 14. They are still married to this day and are absolutely perfect for each other. It makes me happy to see her so happy after seeing her defeated for so many years.

When I was about 14 or 15, I started dabbling in drinking and smoking pot with my friends. I was very involved in school athletics, I was a straight A student, and I was even a cheerleader so my parents never suspected anything. They later told me they always thought any strange actions were because of all the things from my past that I was dealing with so they started making me go to counseling. Once I got into high school, I started partying even harder. I always managed to keep my parents off my back by keeping excellent grades and staying involved in cheerleading and volleyball. I honestly wish someone would have noticed my desperate cries for help at some point...by the time I was a junior and senior in high school, I was experimenting with lots of heavy drugs on top of the pot and drinking. There really wasn't much that I wouldn't try. My senior year of high school, I was arrested twice for possession of marijuana. For some reason, even that didn't stop me. I started spiraling out of control and became addicted to cocaine. Somehow, despite all my problems, I graduated #5 in my class of 600 and I got a full scholarship to go to Texas Tech University.

While in college, I met DF (more on that tomorrow). I partied way too hard my freshman year and ended up not doing very well. After almost losing my scholarships, I finally decided to get my stuff together and start taking school more seriously. I got pregnant with DD my sophomore year and that was my saving grace. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I vowed to never touch another drug as long as I live and I haven't since. She was my saving grace...but we will get into that more later

Day 2- All About DF!

When I was a freshman in college, I hung out with a lot of older people. I had a fake ID so I would go with them to the bars a lot. It was through this group of people that I met Jordan. I remember the first time I ever met him I was speechless. He was so handsome and everything that I look for physically that I couldn't even muster up the courage to talk to him. He had dark hair, light eyes, tattoos, and an awesome beard lol. He instigated the first conversation and made me feel like an idiot...he was 24 and already out of college with a good job and I was 18 and barely out of high school. I thought there was no way he would be interested so I figured we could at least be friends. We had tons in common: we both loved music and going to concerts and live shows, we could talk about anything for hours, and he was always making me laugh. We stayed just friends for a few months until one night I needed a ride home from the bar. He offered to take me and that ride would change our lives forever. We jammed out to Led Zeppelin the whole way back to my house and when we got there, he walked me to my door. I gave him a hug and since I had been drinking, I mustered up the courage to kiss him. Of course he kissed me back and then he asked for my number!!! I didn't expect him to call me but he surprised me by calling the very next afternoon and asking me to go on a date that night. We went to an awesome Chinese place and then to a dive bar to watch a blues band play. By the end of the night, he asked me to be his girlfriend and the rest is history!

When we had been together about a year, surprise! I was pregnant. I was only 20 and terrified. He was 26 and a lot more rational about things (I love that about him in general). We had a lot of pressure to get married because of having a baby but we both refused to get married for that reason. We have both wanted to spend the rest of our lives together almost since we started dating but things have always come up to keep us from having a wedding. We have had similar childhoods with lots of divorce, remarrying, and generally unstable living situations. Because of this, we both want to get married once and have the wedding of our dreams. We don't want to feel rushed or have people think we are doing it for the wrong reasons. Plus, neither one of us feels like getting married would in anyway change the way we feel about each other.

Jordan pushed me to finish college even though I had a little one and for that I am eternally greatful. Without him, I never would have finished. I graduated in 2009 and in 2010, we had Kiefer! Jordan is a wonderful dad. I can't stress that enough. Growing up, his mom was a drug addict and his dad abandoned the family when he was 5. When he was 8, his mom actually gave him and sister up for adoption so his grandparents adopted them and raised them. I think because of all this, he wants to give his kids what he never had so he goes above and beyond the normal dad duties. He has special little things that he does with each of them and they all even have their own handshakes and inside jokes lol. It is absolutely a joy to watch him with his kids and I can't wait to see the bond develop between him and this baby.

When we first started dating


One of my favorite pictures of us


Napping with Kiefer


Day 3- My Kiddos!

Jaleigh was born July 7th, 2007 when I was 20 and Jordan was 26. We like to joke that she truly is our good luck charm because she came on her own a week early and just happened to be born on 07/07/07. She is my reason for quitting drugs and my partying lifestyle. She is my reason for finishing school. She basically gave our lives a whole purpose and meaning. When she was a baby, she was very serious and always observant and cautious. She was the easiest baby: she always ate well, slept through the night starting at 3 months, and almost never misbehaved. We never even went through the terrible two's! Basically, she tricked us into thinking that parenting was a breeze

Now she is 5 1/2 and in Kindergarten. She is scary smart and very mature for her age. She loves when our friends come over (she calls them her friends) because she likes to include herself in conversation with all the grown ups. She already has a hilarious sarcastic sense of humor and is always keeping us laughing. On top of all that, she is very sensitive and caring. She easily gets her feelings hurt but she just as easily can tell when someone else is upset. She very protective of her little brother and has been since day 1. She even gets upset if he gets in trouble lol.

3-4 months old


Her famous pouty face


1 year


2 years


3 years


4 years


5 years


Kiefer was born November 16, 2010 when I was 24 and Jordan was 30. He was born with some breathing issues and has been scaring us and keeping us on our toes ever since. He had horrible reflux as a baby and would projectile vomit everywhere. Ruined our furniture and all of his clothes. Took several months to find medication that would work and even then it wasnt a 100% fix. He also started suffering from tons of ear infections starting at around 4 months old. Around 6-8 months, we started treating him for asthma (even though they won't technically diagnose that until 2 years or older). When he was 11 months, he had tubes put in his ears. At 14 months, we were referred to an allergy specialist for all sorts of testing. He is also forced to drink pediasure because he never seems to grow or gain weight and is always falling completely off the growth charts. Basically, Kiefer has been the most worrisome and stressful child for a parent to have. He has completely taken everything we thought we knew about parenting and thrown it out the window.

Despite all his health problems, Kiefer has always been one of the happiest children I have ever met. Nothing ever really seems to phase him, even when he is sick. He is now a little over 2 and is your typical 2 year old boy: destructive, rowdy, daredevil, and loud. And boy is he stubborn! He loves to push his limits and then push them some more. And when he finally wears out at the end of the day and we get some peace and quiet, Kiefer likes to mix things up by still not sleeping through the night in his own bed! Just when I think I'm not cut out for parenting a little boy, he turns into the sweetest cuddly little mama's boy ever. He is so lovey and really funny and he knows just when to use both of those traits.

Grumpy faces run in the family


About 2 months old


Happy baby!


First mohawk


18 months old


2 years (he is also missing a front tooth because he knocked it out at 19months!)


Sorry for all the pics but I just can't resist! Here are few of my favorites of my babies together. They reeeeeally love each other and I hope this baby fits in with them just as well.













4hearts, Gen88, MamaSkunk and 2 others like this.
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Last edited by ashleykathleen; February 17th, 2013 at 11:46 AM.
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  #2  
February 14th, 2013, 03:37 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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First off, WOW. What an incredibly hard life you have led so far. I cannot imagine going through what you went through and then becoming such a great person and mother! You are quite a success story, lady! A real inspiration! I can't wait to hear more
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  #3  
February 14th, 2013, 05:38 PM
bribugg13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
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I agree, definitely a success story and so glad things have worked out so well for you since then! Definitely looking forward to hearing more!
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  #4  
February 14th, 2013, 08:05 PM
Hopeful2BMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for sharing!
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Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
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  #5  
February 14th, 2013, 08:14 PM
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Crazy, I'm sorry for all you have gone through, rough childhoods suck.
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  #6  
February 14th, 2013, 08:16 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Wow what a rough childhood! I am so glad that things turned around for you! Can't wait to hear more.
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  #7  
February 14th, 2013, 08:29 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sounds alot like my own childhood in ways. Hugs hun! Cant wait to hear more.
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  #8  
February 14th, 2013, 08:45 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies! I used to feel very sorry for myself and play the whole "poor me" card regarding my upbringing. It's not that I'm proud of things that have happened to me, but I have definitely learned to make the best of the hand I was dealt over the years. I'm confident that I would not be the person I am today if I had not had many of the experiences that I have. I think in the long run it has made me a much better mother because I want so badly for my kids to have a childhood exactly opposite if mine.

I promise tomorrow will be much happier!!!
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  #9  
February 15th, 2013, 03:54 AM
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Thank you for sharing I cannot imagine bringing those memories to the surface are easy. What a strong lady you are ! Cannot wait to hear more about you
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  #10  
February 15th, 2013, 05:16 AM
Karen78's Avatar 2nd time around :)
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You are amazing to have come through such a rough beginning. I admire you!! And look at you now.
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  #11  
February 16th, 2013, 08:16 AM
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Df sounds amazing so glad you found true happiness through everything and holy does kiefer look just like him while they are sleeping!
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  #12  
February 16th, 2013, 09:06 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Aww! I am so glad you met an amazing man!
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  #13  
February 17th, 2013, 01:36 PM
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Love all the pictures!! Thanks for sharing!!
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  #14  
February 17th, 2013, 07:18 PM
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love the pics! Thanks for sharing.
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  #15  
February 17th, 2013, 10:44 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Love all the pics of your kids! And oh gosh i love jaleighs little smirk smiles! Sooo cute!!!
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  #16  
February 18th, 2013, 06:31 AM
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Your kiddos are so darling!!
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  #17  
February 18th, 2013, 10:48 AM
Karen78's Avatar 2nd time around :)
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Yay! What a perfect little family!!! Love all your pics!!
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  #18  
February 18th, 2013, 11:29 AM
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Cute pictures!
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  #19  
February 26th, 2013, 01:38 PM
MommaMandaPanda89's Avatar I'm having a Girl!
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Location: Texas;; Cali is home <3
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Such a strong person for overcoming what you have been through in life and still being a wonderful person/mother/wife!
Hell I'm proud of you and I hardly know you!
and your family is beautiful!!
Love reading your story. Thank you for sharing.
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  #20  
February 26th, 2013, 04:05 PM
mommy220's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I loved reading your story of happiness after such awful events. Thank you for sharing and I loved seeing the pics!
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