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Stress and Baby


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
February 16th, 2013, 02:11 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 89
I am so afraid I am hurting the baby with all the stress that I am going through right now. Here's the story, in a short version...

I found out I was pregnant in October. We were living in Arizona. We decided to move to Illinois and stay with my fiance's parents so he could go back to school and we could save some money. Well, things didn't work out so well there and we decided after about three weeks to move back to Arizona. I never really wanted to move to Illinois in the first place. My mom and my brother are both in Arizona and we are pretty close, so the idea of leaving them was killing me. But, I figured it was the best thing for my family, so we went.

When we decided to move back, my fiance asked his old job if he could come back. They said yes, so he left right away to start work and find us a place to live. I have a couple baby showers coming up so I stayed here in Illinois with a friend. I hate being away from him

To make maters worse I have a physical disability that has gotten worse with pregnancy and I am having a really hard time getting around. I can not go to a store or a doctor's appointment alone because I have to use a wheel chair and I can't get the chair in and out of my car. So, my family and my fiance are on the other side of the country and I can't get around by myself.

I had to quit my job as a teacher because I can't physically do it right now. Hy fiance doesn't make a whole lot of money and hasn't gotten a first pay check yet so we have no money and I mean NO money. I had to borrow some gas money from my mom. She also helped pay the deposits for the house we are renting in AZ and even payed for the first 6 months up front. I am so blessed to have a mom who could and would do that for us. It makes me feel guilty though. I am 30 years old and can't support myself. I am so stressed out about all of this.

Then there is also the normal fears about being a new mother. Will I be a good mom? What is the whole birthing experience going to be like. I am also worried because I don't know how I am going to be a good mom when I am going to have a hard time picking up my own child because of my disability.

Then, on top of all of this, my fiance called a few hours ago and says his dad is going to come stay with us for a couple months after he retires. Well, he retires in April. So, he will be staying with us for the last couple month of my pregnancy. I already had to miss out on spending the last month and a half with just the two of us and enjoying the pregnancy. I am not even in our new house yet and he says his dad will be there when I am 8 and 9 month pregnant. I am going to be so miserable because I can hardly move as it is and now I am going to be at the house with his dad all day every day. How awkward will that feel. I haven't had a home in a long time. I was looking forward to going back and feeling comfortable in my own home an I don't have that to look forward to any more.

I am so stressed and then I worry that my stressing is stressing out the baby and it makes me stressed even more. Sorry for the long post. I just needed to vent.
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  #2  
February 16th, 2013, 03:41 PM
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Just wanted to send you some
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  #3  
February 16th, 2013, 05:30 PM
hilachu's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Tonawanda, NY
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I'm sorry.
Can you talk to your fiance and explain your concerns and fears?
You shouldn't have to be stressed those last two months as the two months after will be stressed enough!
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  #4  
February 16th, 2013, 05:36 PM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Maryland, near DC
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I'm so sorry you are going through so much. Have you applied for disability assistance? If you are unable to work, you should qualify. If you can, that should help with the financial piece a bit. I hope you are able to work things out to spend some time with your fiancé before the baby is born. Good luck and hugs!
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  #5  
February 16th, 2013, 06:20 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarylandMama View Post
I'm so sorry you are going through so much. Have you applied for disability assistance? If you are unable to work, you should qualify. If you can, that should help with the financial piece a bit. I hope you are able to work things out to spend some time with your fiancé before the baby is born. Good luck and hugs!

Thank you! I have applied for disability. It takes about four months to get a decision and then if you are approved there is a six month waiting period before you get the first check. Hopefully, I will be approved. It will still be rough until then, but at least we will be better off eventually.
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  #6  
February 16th, 2013, 07:34 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
You are going through a lot. Hugs and try to give yourself some moments of peaceful relaxation and just feeling the baby inside you and letting your thoughts drift away. I know in times of transition like you are going through, my mind goes into overkill mode and I just have endless racing thoughts about everything, which is what makes stress feel so stressful!! But try to just grab those moments of peace and wellbeing whenever you can.
and good luck!!!!
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  #7  
February 16th, 2013, 09:04 PM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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I'm sorry you're going through all of this, especially mostly on your own. Just remember that babies are born healthy all around the world under high amounts of stress. Mothers give birth in war zones that have been war zones for years. I figure if they can do it and have a healthy baby, so can I. While I believe that the baby can feel what I feel, I also know that babies are strong and flexible and can live through quite a lot. My advice is to try to keep a positive attitude, but don't stress yourself out even more thinking about what your stress might be doing to the baby - it's counter productive. I'm only saying these things because things have been pretty stressful from the start of my pregnancy and I've been terrified of what the stress has done to my baby, but lots of deep breathing and plenty of advice from plenty of amazing women have helped me so much. I hope things start getting better. Sending lots of good vibes your way!
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  #8  
February 18th, 2013, 11:25 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 89
Thank you for the encouragement! I am feeling better. Still stressed out, but working through things and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

eshute, I really liked your comment, "Just remember that babies are born healthy all around the world under high amounts of stress. Mothers give birth in war zones that have been war zones for years. I figure if they can do it and have a healthy baby, so can I." So true! In the big picture the things that are stressing me out are not that big of a deal compared to what they could be.
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  #9  
February 18th, 2013, 11:59 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,786
I'm sorry you are going through all this, but its amazing what our LO's can handle. You don't need to stress out about anything else! Is there anything you can do to take your mind off of things? Tutor, go for walks, etc.
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