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childbirth class vent.....


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
March 6th, 2013, 09:39 PM
First time mommy :)
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Chicago area
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I had my first "prepare for childbirth" class tonight. I got some good information, but I'm not really happy with the instructor. She was not very friendly at all. One of the first things she asked was, "How many of you are planning for an unmedicated natural birth?" Everybody raised their hand except me. I said, this is my first baby and I don't know what I want yet, but I am not opposed to getting an epidural. One of the girls in the class shook her head and rolled her eyes, and the instructor asked why and I said I've just talked to a lot of moms, doctor said the majority of women get them and the thought of labor pain scares me a little bit. And she said its not the best choice and that there's no way my doctor would have said that and blah blah. I don't remember exactly what she said because I was so exhausted but she really argued with me about it. She basically made me feel like a bad mother for even considering it! I felt so incredibly stupid. I don't feel like I should be judged by a room full of people for wanting to do something that women do every day. And I never even said I am for sure getting it. I said, this is my first baby and I don't know what to expect and this is all a learning experience for me and I honestly do not know what I want until I am in labor and in the moment, and I am also going to do whatever my doctor thinks is the best choice for me. I'd love to not need an epidural and be strong enough to get through it on my own, but who knows? I was so embarrassed and now I don't even want to go back. Then she said that I absolutely need to take her breastfeeding class and made me feel like if I didn't then well f u. Maybe I was just super tired and oversensitive today but....she got under my skin. Big time.
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  #2  
March 6th, 2013, 10:32 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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That actually really surprises me, usually you see the opposite. Usually I have heard that people tell people who want a ncb don't be a hero ect. I'm sorry you felt judged, I don't think your response was a bad one either. Even though I completely believe in ncb, I more believe in making informed decisions, and not feeling like you are bullied into making decisions that you don't feel are in your or your child's interest. Hugs Hun!
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  #3  
March 6th, 2013, 10:50 PM
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You don't need either class. Honestly, I couldn't figure out what I would have learned in a breastfeeding class that I couldn't learn online or by asking people. On Facebook there is an excellent breastfeeding group called The Leaky B@@B and they will answer any question you have about it. You don't know how your breastfeeding relationship will be until you start it. Until then it's all "wonder, wonder, wonder" anyway.

As for labor, just talk to your doctor a lot about your options and what to do if you think you're in labor.
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  #4  
March 6th, 2013, 11:24 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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The leaky boob is amazing! So is Kelly mom. You have us too!
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  #5  
March 6th, 2013, 11:26 PM
edgeofelise's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Having an open mind in labor is really important and I don't think you're wrong to say you don't know what you'll want until you're there. It doesn't seem to me that this class would be all that beneficial; when I went to my childbirth class there wasn't a single thing we went over that I didn't already know from my own reading and talking to other mamas. So really, the only point was to meet other new parents and feel supported (that didn't happen for me, either, so I felt like the whole class was a waste of money.) If you're not getting a supportive vibe from the instructor or the other people in your class, there's not much point.
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  #6  
March 7th, 2013, 12:18 AM
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That's a terrible thing for them to have told you. So instead of lying that you weren't scared and wanted to only have a natural unmedicated birth you answered honestly with a very common sense and level minded answer ??! And they made you feel bad?! That's horse sh it. You have a better chance of having a happy birth(no matter how it goes) than someone who has expectations of only the perfect birth(aka eye roller from yor class). There is nothing wrong with having a goal of a Ncb however having a realistic expectation will do so much more for a "successful" happy birth.

If you don't want to go back don't. However I recommend reading all different birth stories online. Watching a vaginal deliver, and a casarean video online. And asking yourself what specifically worries you and research that a little too!

You will do great! Because you will have a beautiful little healthy baby at the end of your journey.

Maye look into an alternative breast feeding class. One she isn't teaching or meet with a la leche member prior to birth for tips!!
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Last edited by farmfourmama; March 7th, 2013 at 12:24 AM.
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  #7  
March 7th, 2013, 03:40 AM
mommy220's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow that is horrible, I seriously think you should complain. I feel that is unacceptable to be making a first time mom feel bad about speaking up about her feelings in a class like this. Her job is to give you the facts on every situation, not give her opinion and talk down to you on the first night!!!
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  #8  
March 7th, 2013, 05:17 AM
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Know this - a good portion of the women in that class WILL have an epidural in the end As long as a choice does not place the baby at risk, it should be your choice. I have two children plus the little one inside. I have had two epidurals. First labor was nearly 15 hours and I needed the epi. The second one they broke my water cause I was already at 6-7 cm. Within an hour I delivered. I probaby could have done it without the epi. This time who knows. The epi is safe so it should be your complete choice.
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  #9  
March 7th, 2013, 06:00 AM
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I respect women who go the unmedicated route. But I am all for modern medicine and reducing my pain. No one has the right to judge you no matter what you decide.

You don't need the classes, you'll read everything online anyways.
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  #10  
March 7th, 2013, 06:13 AM
First time mommy :)
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I feel so much better. Thanks ladies. I don't think I'll go back. I told her that I wasn't planning on taking her BF class because I just wanted to read and let it come naturally and she looked at me like I was insane! And my doctor was the one who recommended the epi, so that lady can shove it. I think I'll just go to my baby basics class. At least it's a different teacher! :-)
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  #11  
March 7th, 2013, 08:44 AM
edgeofelise's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Seattle, WA
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Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding is a terrific resource for BF. Her Guide to Childbirth is great, too, but keep in mind a lot of the birth stories were written in the 70s and it gets pretty, um, far out, man. LOL
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  #12  
March 7th, 2013, 09:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edgeofelise View Post
Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding is a terrific resource for BF. Her Guide to Childbirth is great, too, but keep in mind a lot of the birth stories were written in the 70s and it gets pretty, um, far out, man. LOL
Haha, if you think Guide to Childbirth is far out, you should try Spiritual Midwifery. It is such a cultural artifact in addition to having great stories and information. Lots of pictures of naked long haired hippie women having psychedelic experiences in labor. I love that book though.

OP, you should lodge a complaint I think. No one should be running a general childbirth class with that attitude. Even in my crunchville crunchcrunch hospital, they are all about SUPPORT for whatever the mom wants. It is not okay to get treated like that. Hugs!!!!
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  #13  
March 7th, 2013, 10:42 AM
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I don't think I'll go back. I told her that I wasn't planning on taking her BF class because I just wanted to read and let it come naturally and she looked at me like I was insane!
Out of experience I will say this: When you try to breastfeed and do what feels natural to you do NOT become discouraged if it does not work. For instance, what was natural to me was to hold my baby in the cradle position and let him latch on his side (tummy to tummy) with both my arms around. We had a few other issues with latching (clamping issues, ugh) but one of my issues was that I wasn't bringing his head over far enough to my side to get him to latch straight on. I would always drag my boob over to him (bending, pulling the nipple). This hurts, lol.

So, do what feels right to you (holding, positions, etc) but if you run into any issues it probably is a result of a tiny thing that can easily be fixed.

I remember when I was first learning how to latch him on the nurses would always come over and put him in the football hold. This is a good position for some people (like having multiples, large breasts, etc) but it felt really weird to me and I didn't like it. I kept telling the nurses that I didn't want to nurse him that way but they kept insisting. I honestly feel bad for any mom who felt the way I did and wonder how many gave up soon after. It was very strange. The nurses also kept telling me that my baby wasn't peeing/pooping enough for the amount that he was nursing. According to kelly's mom and the Leaky B@@b my son was actually over-performing. People are just too used to what formula fed babies do :\
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  #14  
March 7th, 2013, 10:49 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MerinSun View Post
Out of experience I will say this: When you try to breastfeed and do what feels natural to you do NOT become discouraged if it does not work. For instance, what was natural to me was to hold my baby in the cradle position and let him latch on his side (tummy to tummy) with both my arms around. We had a few other issues with latching (clamping issues, ugh) but one of my issues was that I wasn't bringing his head over far enough to my side to get him to latch straight on. I would always drag my boob over to him (bending, pulling the nipple). This hurts, lol.

So, do what feels right to you (holding, positions, etc) but if you run into any issues it probably is a result of a tiny thing that can easily be fixed.

I remember when I was first learning how to latch him on the nurses would always come over and put him in the football hold. This is a good position for some people (like having multiples, large breasts, etc) but it felt really weird to me and I didn't like it. I kept telling the nurses that I didn't want to nurse him that way but they kept insisting. I honestly feel bad for any mom who felt the way I did and wonder how many gave up soon after. It was very strange. The nurses also kept telling me that my baby wasn't peeing/pooping enough for the amount that he was nursing. According to kelly's mom and the Leaky B@@b my son was actually over-performing. People are just too used to what formula fed babies do :\
I could not agree more! There is nothing like having nurses or people around you shoving your child into your boob. It hurt my BF relationship with my first. It maybe something that will come natural and it maybe something that you have to find out what works for you and your baby. Dont get discouraged if its harder than you thought, the first 6 weeks are the hardest but once you get over that hump it becomes very easy. Hugs hun! I am glad you are feeling better! Is this at a military hospital? I cant remember if you are seeing military docs or not.
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  #15  
March 7th, 2013, 10:50 AM
cheerfulsunrise's Avatar Super Mommy
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I would have been upset after that too! I wouldn't go back, if it was me. It sounds like it is not a very warm group... and I wouldn't want to try to learn in that kind of environment!
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  #16  
March 7th, 2013, 12:36 PM
First time mommy :)
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Chicago area
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No it's not a military hospital. I think I'll just look at all these sights and maybe get a good book on it. I do know a couple of moms that got discouraged after only breastfeeding a few times, but I am determined to see it through!!! Thank you all for all the advice and websites!
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  #17  
March 7th, 2013, 05:39 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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I'm a proponent for NCB, but more importantly I want women to be informed about their labor choices. That was unfortunate that the teacher did not use it as a learning experience to go over the choices and give pros and cons for them. Do your research and then you make an informed decision about what is best for you and your baby.

As for a breastfeeding class, I'd recommend one (obviously not with that teacher though), but it is possible to succeed without. Again, do tons of research!! I didn't the first time and didn't know to ask for help and I failed. The second time I did tons of reading beforehand and continued my research once she was born and had some higher needs than a normal baby. It was hard work but I succeeded
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